MM001 Marrying Myself - First Date (Mixed-Media Post)

**Author’s note: This is the free, blog post version of this article. Paid subscribers can listen to this audio podcast or video podcast instead, if you prefer.

Hello! And welcome to “Marrying Myself.” I’m Rosa Linda Román and this is my new mixed-media project where I step out of the constant consuming of other people’s products and programs and all the external input that hits us like a firehose everyday and instead center my own wisdom and experiences first. That begins with my personal journals which I have been keeping since I was a teenager. So, consider this a little preview of those journal entries, which are really just a small part of the greater project I’m calling, “Marrying Myself.”

For this first episode, I’d like to start with a journal entry I wrote a month and a half ago with a cool invention called a Moleskine Smart Pen. You use the pen to write in a special Moleskine Smart Journal and it magically takes what you write on the physical page and instantly converts that into a digital formal. Cool, right?

So, you can either watch the following video of me reading that Moleskine Smart Journal entry or scroll below and find the transcript. Also, if you’re a paid subscriber you can listen to this whole post on the private audio podcast, or watch the whole video of it at the bottom of this post. If a complete audio or video is your preference but you aren’t yet a paid subscriber, you can upgrade here.

However you prefer to experience “Marrying Myself,” I’m glad you’re here and I hope you enjoy it!

When I think about something old, I realize there are two different ways this could go. There are the things that are old yet precious, the parts of my world that are worth preserving: the wisdom of my youth, my ancestors and my journey which led me to this moment in time. And then there are the old and rotten things, the parts that have been carried from generation to generation which shall have no place in the beautiful, sustainable, inclusive future I care about: the systems of oppression and manipulation, the “isms” that kept me small, the old rotten things whose only use now is to serve as fertilizer for the healthy growing things.

So, on this first attempt at “Marrying Myself,” I would like to note an old thing from each of these categories of “old,” one old and welcome and one old rotten thing to bid adieux to.

Let’s start with the obvious, old rotten thing:

The “Bro way,” with a capital “B.”

The “Bro way” includes all the poisonous systems of the “Good Old Boys” clubs and bro culture that have allowed the nasty, hateful and hurtful things to flourish. The patriarchal, colonialistic, misogynistic ways of old. I have been reading and learning about a lot of those ways in some powerful Substacks, which I will talk about in a future episode of “Marrying Myself.” But for now, suffice it to say that in this new era of marrying myself, of embracing my strength and beauty, that that “bro way” and those who cling to it don’t get an invite to the wedding. Those men (and the women who enable them) who use violence as their currency, who aren’t doing the work to fix what they’ve broken, and who have destroyed the precious ones through their abuse, addictions and adultery, do not get a seat at the table. That is the old thing that is not on the guest list as I am marrying myself.

That said, there are old things that are precious to me, and I am loving the chance to rediscover them through this new project.

Since this is my first “Marrying Myself” post, I thought this series of old photographs would be the perfect start.

Taken 15 years ago, this was a day when my three kids asked me to try on my wedding dress (from 13 years before that) to see if it still fit. It did. And they decided it made a perfect tent for them to play under. That little baby boy is now a sophomore in high school who is currently learning to drive and the two girls are off at college pursuing their passions.

I look at these photos with a smile but without longing to go back there as many people do. The baby years were precious, but very hard. I’m grateful I had those beautiful experiences and equally grateful for this moment in time that we are currently living in.

Perhaps it’s because we’re in springtime, but the “Something New” section is alive and abundant this week, from a book launch to this “Marrying Myself” project and, finally, to agriculture.

Let’s start with “Marrying Myself.” What, exactly is this? I touched on it in my journal entry above, but I’ve since been mulling over this question for a few weeks now. Is it a video series? Do I want it to be a bunch of blog posts? Or maybe a podcast? The answer, I realize, is “Yes!” I want it to be whatever I feel like it should be each week. Some audio, some video, some writing. If there’s audio, I will throw that in a podcast. If there’s video, I may post it independently or just drop it into a post here on Substack. That’s the whole point, right? When you meet your new love, you don’t go in with a preconceived idea of who they are and how they move through the world. Well, you might, but if it is anything like my own experience with almost 28 years of marriage, you quickly realize that preconceived ideas and expectations will go out the window very quickly, at least if you want a healthy relationship. So, when it comes to marrying myself, I’m going to do my best not to come in with preconceived ideas and expectations. I’ll share as inspiration strikes, in whatever form that may take. If that interests you, awesome! If not, I am totally okay with that since this project is really for me anyway.

The second “Something New” that I want to share is the launch of my book, “Mortal Treason,” on April 30th. Mortal Treason is book five and the final book of my mystery thriller series, “Catalina’s Chronicles.” Writing this series has been a wild and wonderful journey of self-discovery for me for the past twenty-five years. The first book, “Death Wounds” began as a screenplay which I wrote while I was a TV news reporter covering heinous crimes at Fox 10 – KSAZ in Phoenix, Arizona. The story follows a young, Latina TV news reporter, Catalina Cruz, as she discovers the local sheriff is stockpiling military surplus property for a private militia. Grown from the seed of that real news story from my early broadcasting days, which I then wildly fictionalized, “Death Wounds” made the top five of the New York International Latino Film Festival in 2001. But then life happened and I did nothing else with it, until now. Over the past fifteen months, I not only converted that screenplay into a novel, but I wrote four sequels to it, too. Now the complete, five-book series, “Catalina’s Chronicles” is available on Amazon and free to read in Kindle Unlimited. You can find that here:

Catalina's Chronicles on Amazon

And, finally, “Something New” that is lighting me up right now is the possibility of not only blooming where I’m planted (to follow a dear friend’s advice on how to deal with finding myself suddenly landlocked… more on that in a minute) but to plant the seeds that will grow a symbiotic, sustainable community that I love.

What, exactly, do I mean by that?

As a lot of you know, my family splits our time between our landlocked home in New Mexico, USA and exploring the world on a catamaran (which is currently in Greece in the expert hands of captains Verena Kellner and Mike Castle of Pacific Sailors fame). Once my daughters went off to college, my family’s enthusiasm for living on boats apprently went with them. Right now, we are a one-kid-at-home household and that means his input carries more weight. Since my son never loved living on boats, he has requested that he get to spend his high school years in New Mexico. And so, in an effort to bloom where I’m planted for the next three years, I’ve been thinking a lot about growing things.

Actually, that’s only partially accurate.

The dreadful state of so many societal systems (i.e. the state of the world), plus finding myself suddenly landlocked, plus all of the mystery-conspiracy-thriller writing and research I’ve been doing for my fact-based-fiction, has been the perfect trifecta to get me thinking a lot about self-sufficiency, sustainability and prepping for any apocalypse that may happen to become more fact than just fiction in the near future. As I researched for a particularly intense scene in my series finale, the term, “preppers” came up and I realized there were two camps really. One, which tends to lean more towards the prepare-to-kill-your-neighbors kind of prepping, and the other, which is more focused on how to make sure your beloveds and communities will be okay if the systems we typically depend on fail us.

Which brings me to my personal mantra:

“Get clear on what you want, and why you want it and the right people
and resources show up to make that happen.”
-Rosa Linda Román

For me, when it comes to preparing for an apocalypse, I realize I’m decidedly in the second camp. Realizing that I love the thought of creating symbiotic communities for the future, and with a focus on marrying myself, the obvious question was, what’s my part in all of this? The answer, I realized, is:

Yes! Even just writing that statement of clarity sent happy magical shock waves reverberating through my whole body. That’s how I know it’s right for me.

And, sure enough, the moment I found that clarity, many of the “right people” and resources started showing up, mostly right here on Substack.

Which brings me to the next section…

Before I share the links to some of the spectacular (and sometimes deeply disturbing) articles that I’m borrowing from in this week’s post, I want to say something about “borrowing” in general. In an age where we have had “Bro-tech” companies and robots stealing our collective intellectual property to build their AI systems and mega-corporations, I feel very, very strongly that we must go above and beyond to give credit where credit is due. Part of that comes from my career as a broadcast journalist. Part of it comes from one of the only “F” grades I ever received in college when a professor felt I didn’t give proper attribution and was therefore accused of plagiarism (!) and I had to rewrite the whole darn paper. But mostly it comes from my blood and my DNA.

Like most people I know, I am the descendant of people whose hard-working natures allowed them to survive unimaginable hardships, but whose labor was also mostly used to serve others and line other people’s pockets. To honor them, and to build the world so many of us are envisioning during this lifetime, I firmly believe that we must stop appropriating other people’s work and passing it off as our own. You may have noticed that at the bottom of all my posts, I remind my readers about ethical sharing. It is as easy as clicking a “share” button instead of cutting and pasting, or simply including a link back to the original article wherever you share it. So, as you check out these amazing creators I’m about to introduce you to, I invite you to apply the same ethical standard when sharing their work, too.

Okay, so now on to “Something Borrowed”:

As I mentioned above, the moment I started to shift my mindset to the idea of growing something in case the systems that currently support us completely fall apart, I started finding some amazing creators who are not only talking about these things, but taking action in their own spheres of influence. These homesteading agrarians are inspiring me to dream big while slowly trying my hand at growing my own food.

The first awesome agrarian I discovered here on Substack is Jack Thomas. She (yes, “she”… two traditionally male names, one inspiring lady) first introduced me to the idea of “American prepper ethic” in this piece while I was doing research for my mystery thrillers.

Despite the doomsday-flavored, monochromatic title, the article is actually a rich and colorful introduction to what a family might actually need in the event of societal collapse.

Here’s an excerpt:

The article then goes on to give practical ideas for how to actually do this in ways that support you and your family while also nurturing healthy partnerships with your neighbors.

That said, while I love the idea of becoming a totally self-sufficient homesteader with a robust, symbiotic, sustainable community, the reality is that I’m a complete novice at this agrarian business. I have the land, but not the know-how. Gratefully, Jack Thomas is doing much more than writing Substack posts about prepping. She also created a community called, A.C.R.E.: Agrarian Co-learning & Resilience Exchange, which she describes as “A year-round home for learning, moral support, and community for liberal and leftist farmers, gardeners, homesteaders, and aspiring agrarians.” Here’s the post where she invites us into this community which also takes a sobering look at the whole “tradwives” movement and shines a light on the ways that it can do more harm than good.

I encourage you to read both of those articles by Jack Thomas and then go join A.C.R.E. But, before you do, I should warn you about the risks of doing so. If you’re anything like me, you will soon find yourself totally obsessed with the idea of growing your own food and start stalking homesteaders and small farmers online, looking for inspiration. Luckily, there are some amazing Substackians to help you get your small farm fix. One of my absolute favorites is Jenna Woginrich. She is the proprietor of Cold Antler Farm. Her Substack is the perfect scratch to that new homesteading itch as she shares the journey of being a solo, female small farmer complete with birthing lambs, shearing sheep and wrestling with all the challenges that come with this lifestyle.

I love the photos of her newborn lambs, her candor about the challenges of solo farming and her audio diaries that welcome you in to her special sanctuary.

Although I’d love to share a dozen more creators with you right now, I must remind myself that that is not my focus here. So, Jack and Jenna are this week’s “Something Borrowed.” I hope you’ll check out their offerings.

Now to the final section…

I don’t know why, but this “Something Blue” category tickles me. I guess it’s because it fits the expression, “The sky’s the limit,” since the sky is blue and there are countless things that I love in this life that either are blue or relate to blue somehow. At first, I was unsure about this category, but I quickly realized how many blue things lit me up this week.

One: These sailboat paintings by my oldest daughter, Ahava.

She tends to be a very serious, analytical person, but she has this magnificent creative side too. In addition to these blue paintings, she made me a beautiful blue container which I now keep my favorite rocks in. Yes, I love rocks, but those are very rarely blue.

Two: My blue Osprey backpack.

It is my mobile office and I love it. For years, this beauty has been a constant companion across continents and through all the daily abuse it still looks brand new. Inside you’ll find my computer, livestreaming equipment, journals, snacks, a sweater and even a water fountain in the form of a camelback bladder. Like I said, a mobile office.

And, three: this blueberry plant.

As I mentioned above, I am newly obsessed with growing my own food but it didn’t take long to realize how little I knew. Even after joining Jack Thomas’ A.C.R.E. community, I found myself doing more consuming than creating. Until I saw this note from Jenna Woginrich and was inspired to finally take action:

So, I followed her advice and got the tomatoes and basil but also several other plants, including this blueberry plant.

Yes, it does feel like we totally cheated since it came fully formed with fruit on it already, but a woman must know her limits. Believe me, it will be no small task for me to keep these plants alive—especially since a bear came to visit us last night. Gratefully it preferred garbage over my gardens (here’s a little video I took this morning).

All of this to say that, while they are still growing undisturbed, for today at least, these blueberries are also something blue I am celebrating.

Well, there you have it, this week’s episode of Marrying Myself, complete with something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. I hope you enjoyed it. For me, I have to say this project feels both odd and joy-sparking, which tells me it’s exactly where I need to be right now. After all, couldn’t we describe the beginning of most of life’s best things that way? Odd and joy-sparking. So, I guess I will keep this going.

You can help me do that in one of three ways:

One, restacking this post. You can do that easily by clicking this share button.

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Two, becoming a paid subscriber. For $5 a month or $50 a year, you become part of the solid foundation that supports me on this new journey of marrying myself. You can subscribe by clicking this button:

And three, by posting a comment. Let me know what you think of this idea of marrying ourselves? If you were to spend a season marrying yourself, what would you focus on? How could you fall in love with those parts of yourself that might have been hanging out in the backseat or a box in the closet for a long time? I would love to hear from you.

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Okay, that’s it for now. Thanks for all your support! I’m Rosa Linda Román and this is “Marrying Myself.”

Finally, a friendly reminder… This article is the intellectual property of Rosa Linda Román. While I give permission to share quotes from it and snippets from the podcast, please only do so with a link back to this original article. You do not have permission to copy and paste my work without proper attribution and a link back to this article. Join me in fighting systems of oppression by giving credit where credit is due. I thank you for your ethical support of creators like me when sharing my work. You can do that easily by clicking this button:

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Now, last but not least, a few bonuses for my paid subscribers... As I was figuring out how I wanted to structure this new mixed-media project, I did what I always do and went overboard. (Not literally as I am currently landlocked, but figuratively.)

So, instead of just writing a blog post, I created both an audio podcast and video version, too. I’ve decided to share those with my paid subscribers. Not yet a paid subscriber yet but would like to check out the video or the podcast? Awesome and thank you! I offer a no-obligation two week free trial of the paid subscription so you can check things out. If you love what you find, I hope you will stick around after that. You can get that here:

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Now, on to the bonus content for paid subscribers…

First of all, let me say “Thank you!” for all your support! As a paid subscriber you are truly giving me the freedom to experiment, play and explore. It may seem like a small thing, but to me, it is everything. I appreciate you more than words can say.

And now, on to the audio podcast:

Or, if you are more a visual person (like me!) then you can watch the video version of this post, with all the extra visuals, here:

Thank you for all your support!

Kungaloosh, Adventurers!
-Rosa Linda 🌹❤️