Welcome to my "garage" side of my blog! In here you will find a lot of niche and interesting posts in the storage! This is also where I'll experiment with ne...
This is actually a result of a small quick experiment on how I started to do "Costume Play" again. At first, I felt that I "should have" wear more costume because I already commissioned people. I should have worn those wigs. etc. As result, I did not start at all because it ended up being a shame loop. But then, last week I tried to change the way I talk to myself, in really small steps: "What if…
After listening to Anna Howard's Youtube Video that is more spontaneous, how the client she worked with did so much overplanning for a year to make a podcast, but never recorded one. Anna said that she practices herself before the Wild Geese podcast, to press record even if it's imperfect. Basically to make a lifestyle around what you already have. It got me thinking about my relationship with…
I still feel traumatic about how I am linking my cosplay to my traumatic experience that made my gut twisted as heck. Also how I was treated about my appearance in the past, but I'm not gonna say it in detail, but I want to take a step forward one by one. Confidence in myself can be built, just create a safe space for yourself first without demeaning others. First, I'm going to put the Green…
I don't know if this is a very recent occurrence, but it seems like there are more and more social media post emerging locally, where people would put a screenshot of a condescending chat (that I assumed it should be private) then make an entire new narratives about how that same person just 'become more successful". I'd like to believe that there is more to the actual real 'life'. The message of…
This is more of a reminder to myself so that I can just delay my impulsive buying habit to not buy a new artbook that I shall not mention specifically. This is not saying if I am hopping to the trend, it's more like pointing out I'm buying more than I am reading and it is quite a problem. There is this "scarcity mindset" of how there will be things selling out. "It will be sold out fast so grab…
My experience as an ace-aro is quite unique and it is my personal experience of discovering. It is not a clear-cut experience just to fit into the box of 'ace-aro', but here I am existing. I won't go into much of personal details of course, but long story short I tried dating both man and a woman, as a result I just could not imagine myself actually pursuing the relationship further. Vaguely…
This is more of a conversation with myself how I would feel guilty for not finishing an illustration for more than few days/few weeks. Honestly, I'd feel guilty even if I have to take multiple weeks to finish an illustration, even the stylized approach, I wonder where this guilt came from honestly. Possibly from the pressure of my previous studio that finishing an illustration for more a day…
Introduction of "A Play in a Costume" This is going to be a series of my own journey to focus in the "Play" in my "Costume Play", often shortened to be "Cosplay". But the idea of cosplay has now watered down to be a costume only, with social media race. I'd even go as far as if the line between "Cosplay" and "Idol" culture is quite similar. In the metrics of "social media", you cannot measure how…
One day, I unexpectedly met my former teacher for an apprenticeship I did. Of course, occassionally I was "invited" to the former students as well to build the "community" (I swear it feels like a buzzword but bear with me). However I've always had this instict/gut feeling that there is a favoritism in the group, not that I care much. I just take it as a fact than just a source for envy. After…
Odd, but I've always had this "voice". No, it wasn't my own. I cannot put a finger on it. I'd say it's like its own, entity. Heck, probably "Part of my Whole Life". It wasn't scary, but I'm used to it. I think even when I was 13 I did have a conversation with them, but when I'm in my own room. I can't remember. Sometimes it's disturbing, sometimes it's neutral. Nowadays I just sleep it through…