TBL: The Unspoken Rules of Work

Last month I wrote a Friday Forward on the unspoken rules in life. This included some obvious ones most of us know:

• If you’ve ordered the most expensive meal at the table, don’t be the one to suggest that you split the check evenly.

• If you borrow a car, return it clean and fill the gas.

• You should repay a debt/loan before someone has to ask.

A few readers replied that there are just as many, if not more, unspoken rules at work. Violating these rules often has consequences that can be career limiting, even if you are never explicitly reprimanded. And anecdotally, I have heard from several leaders whose younger employees and newer leaders may not be familiar with these important best practices that aren’t found in an employee handbook.

I shared many of these rules with my daughter before her first internship, and I’ve shared several of them with new leaders I’ve mentored over the years as well. These are good to reinforce at all stages of your professional journey.

Don’t reply all unless every single person needs the message

So many people use reply all when the context of the email makes it clear that it’s not the appropriate or requested thing to do. This always makes people question your emotional intelligence and can be something people joke about for years.

Praise in public, correct in private

This is a vital rule for feedback, whether you are correcting a peer, a direct-report or certainly a manager. Don’t call someone out in front of others; pull them aside privately and politely share your feedback. But if you’re praising someone for a job well done, be sure to highlight it in front of their team, department or, if appropriate, the entire company.