Over the past few weeks, the World Cup has offered remarkable displays of talent and, for the fans who traveled here, many heart-warming cultural exchanges. But for all the extraordinary feats on the field this past month, the most impressive part of the tournament, for me, had nothing to do with soccer and everything to do with character.
On July 1, in the United States’ knockout stage opener against Bosnia and Herzegovina, American striker Folarin Balogun was ejected from the game by a red card penalty. The card came after a collision that virtually every analyst called accidental, and the punishment was mandated by an automated video review, not a call on the field.
Balogun had every reason to feel wronged. And his team would have to finish the biggest match of their lives a man down.
If you’ve watched the World Cup before, you’ve seen how many players respond to this type of unjust call. Players dramatically surrounded the referee, arguing every call as if their honor depended on it even though it never impacts the outcome. But Balogun did none of that. He didn’t throw his hands up for the cameras or berate the official. Instead, he simply walked off the field. After the match, he sought out the referee and shook his hand.
Asked about it afterward, Balogun didn’t pretend he agreed with the decision. He did, however, offer this about his dignified reaction on the field:
“I never want to react out of anger and out of emotion. There’s still lots of people we’re inspiring, little kids, boys and girls who are watching, and we have to show them the correct way to handle things, even when you think it’s unjust.”
Then, regarding the handshake, he added: “You can feel like an injustice can happen to you. It’s not an excuse to be disrespectful.”
It’s easy to display character when things are going your way, however, character truly comes through in our most challenging moments, when it seems natural to lose our cool.
But when he faced that moment in the biggest game of his life, Balogun took the high road.
This isn’t what we’ve come to expect from elite athletes. Watch a night of NBA basketball and you’ll see grown men chase officials down the court, throw up their hands after every whistle, and treat each call as a personal affront. Many professional athletes’ behavior toward referees even earns them technical fouls that harm their team. The theatrics are so normalized that we barely register them anymore, and each successive generation emulates this behavior.
But Balogun, just 24 years old, understood the size of the moment and what it meant for his country.
“I’m aware that the World Cup might be the first time a lot of American viewers are tuning in. So it’s important just to show people, whether things happen to you, good or bad, just to continue to be yourself.”
Balogun recognized he had an opportunity to set an example and make his country proud, rather than focusing on his own grievance or anger. That is what a leader does: consider the impact beyond themselves and remember that people are watching and learning from them.
The developmental psychologist Dr. Aliza Pressman has a line I keep coming back to that was the anchor of a recent Friday Forward: “All feelings are welcome, but not all behaviors are.” The discipline lives in the space between the two, separating what you feel from how you act. Balogun felt wronged and didn’t pretend otherwise. He simply refused to express that feeling through his behavior and make everyone around him angrier about something they could not change.
The United States’ run ended a round later. But I have to believe Balogun walked away from this World Cup with a new set of admirers, for both his play on the field and his words and actions off it. He’s a class act, and the kind of example that seems to be getting harder to find.
Quote of the Week
“Sports do not build character. They reveal it.” – John Wooden
Have a Great Weekend!
-Bob
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