I’m writing this 10 days before Valentine’s day, and while my husband and I don’t really celebrate the holiday, I still felt there is something to be said about love. And more so, what that means on February 14th.
On this day, love is expressed through familiar scripts.
Flowers, cards, a dinner reservation.
Usually feeling less like an intimate gesture, and more like an expectation. This exchange doesn’t really deepen a relationship, but it can make things feel, well acceptable. But when the exchange doesn’t happen, it introduces an unnecessary tension, as though something important was missed. That dynamic can make the day feel oddly high-stakes for something that’s meant to feel simple.
This had me thinking about other holiday’s where something is expected. There’s birthdays, a time to make someone feel special on the day they came into the world. Then anniversaries, which mark the specific, shared histories between people. And when considering what these have in common, I noticed it’s that they are personal by nature, shaped by the relationship itself.
This is where Valentine’s day fails. In this light it feel more…general? It’s less about your story, your love, and is just about love, in and of itself.
And I think that’s where we get these rather annoying expectations from our relationships (outside of the obvious commercial strain I’ve been ignoring in this post). Instead of thinking it’s a day for your love, maybe we should be thinking of it as a day of love. In the shared human experience kinda way.
For us that’s a freeing feeling. Offering a chance to celebrate love in many forms, not just in the personal or intimate relationship kind of way. So if you find your stuck where this day feels more like an obligation, try viewing it in this lens.
It’s really doesn’t need to be anything more, or less than just love.
xx
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