THAT OLD GANG

I recently heard from an old friend, Larry, who was a big part of my life in New York City in the 1980s and 1990s. He got in touch with me to tell me about the death of someone (Paul) we used to hang out with. For some reason, this news has really affected me and I’m trying to wrap my arms around it.

Paul was more of an acquaintance to me than friend. We saw each other at super bowl parties, happy hours, and other social gatherings. One New Years Eve, my husband and I had him to our apartment, but that was a very long time ago and I can’t quite remember the circumstances of how we reconnected.

Upon hearing the news, I got a pit in my stomach and memories just washed over me. Originally, I thought I was emotional because news like this forces you to face your own mortality. As I thought more about it, however, I came to recognize that what I was feeling was more of an appreciation for all the wonderful memories and experiences.

There is nothing quite like being single in a big City and the 1980s was definitely an era to let loose. I moved to New York in 1982 and I love the friendships that I built as a 20-something. Larry was a big part of my social circle. He was (still is) very gregarious and meets and mixes friends with great ease. Any day after work, if you wanted to blow off some steam, Larry knew where to go and you always had a good time.

When Larry texted me the news, he referred to Paul as part of “our old gang.” Another member of “our old gang” also alerted me to the news. She said “it’s so sad we all had so many good times together.” That we did.

You can never return to the way things were, but sometimes it is nice to let the mind wander back to a time when the biggest worry was whether you had a date on a Saturday night. On Saturdays when I didn’t have a date, you probably would find me hanging out with Larry and the “old gang” at a bar or party. I miss those times and as we grow older, I really miss the comradery of that “old gang.” A death is always a reminder of the past and what was.

I don’t get together with Larry and others from that time nearly enough. We all live in different cities, have spouses, children, grand-children, ailing parents, etc. Frankly, if it wasn’t for Facebook and other social media channels, an entire decade of a friendship circle would be lost.

So, I am going to use Paul’s death to be a reminder to stay connected. Be it with a text, phone call, or a DM on one of your social media platforms. The truth is, as we age, we will all be receiving more and more alerts of people who have passed. Hopefully, it is between many, many more alerts of births, anniversaries, and celebrations.

While Paul’s death is a loss, I am thankful for all the wonderful memories I have of that “old gang.” As I make memories, in new situations, with different people, it is always nice to think back about all the people that have made an impact throughout your life. After all, it takes a strong foundation to lead a well-lived life. And, for me, it will always include “that old gang.”