you were never meant to spend your whole life striving

our current monthly practice:

I wonder how many of us are quietly postponing our lives until we become someone we finally feel proud of.

so many of us are living inside of a waiting room of who we are meant to become, instead of being present for what is here, right now.

I've noticed that I spend a lot of time thinking about what I need to change, fix, do, become, achieve… ect. and I have noticed that many of the people around me are also thinking of the exact same thing, especially my friends (we’re all in our twenties).

it often takes an intentional extra step, to get yourself to stop and smell the roses.

its like the natural program running in our brains is wired to focus on what to do next, what to do more of, how to get to the next place.

that one runs on autopilot- it takes no effort, its just constantly going on in the background.

but what about gratitude? presence? acknowledgment of how far you have come?

now that train of thought seems to take a lot more effort — it requires awareness as well as willingness.

we have to become conscious and aware of the running loop of “more”, we have to step back and take on the seat of the observer. watching as it loops, continues, cycles, and runs on its own accord. and then we have to feed our brain a new thought. we have to actually be willing to go against the current with questions like…

well wait, what is beautiful right now?

what am I grateful for right here in this exact present moment?

I can totally theorize on the sociology and psychology of why this happens to us… I know the confusing landscape of the decade of your 20s holds a lot of responsibility for this loop, but 20-somethings aren’t the only ones who feel this way.

I witness my mom do it, and my nana, my guy friends, and even strangers I spark conversation with.

so then it also isn’t only the incessant comparison hole of social media… because nana doesn’t even know how to use the gps on her iPhone, let alone watch an instagram story.

so if it’s not only your twenties, and it also isn’t brain rot, then what is it?

I think it is the human need to feel complete.

something about being human feels incredibly vulnerable and raw. the search for comfort, belonging, success, and completion doesn’t need any permission from you for it to be running in the background.

its always there, scanning your reality and environment, your choices and options, your relationships, ect. its looking for ways to fill this large void from within, that needs to feel fulfilled, and complete.

but it needs your help.

your inner self needs your help.

to be reminded that comfort does not come from any one thing, completion is not something you mark off on a list of to-do’s, there is no grand moment of success that will stop this feeling from deep within.

what brings us all together, is that in some way, shape, or form, we are all looking for this comfort. and everybody does it differently. some people thrive on helping and saving others, finding themselves drained and lost in the whirlpool of other people’s psyches. some people find their bandaid in working, burying their heads in the sand of chasing success and productivity. some people find the temporary healing balm in casinos, bars, and clubs— letting hits of hedonism muffle the incessant need of the deep void within.

the true goal is to move towards turning this awareness into a new pattern of thinking that actually integrates and becomes apart of your daily life.

and the more you practice this, the more you feel the relief sink into everything. you don’t stop having goals or dreams, you are able to hold them with clarity and belief in yourself and work towards them.

but through conscious self love, and turning inward through tangible ways you are able to continuously and effectively fill that void with what your soul wants the most—

you.

your soul doesn’t want bandaids it wants you.

from my heart to yours,

Rhiana Meri

you can practice this work with me, and our community in the paid portion of my substack, Lessons in Self Love. this month our theme is “feeling alive again” and it is all about moving through burnout and back into joy, confidence, and inspiration. I built the practice to effectively guide you through coming back to the present moment, dusting off, reconnecting with what you are truly grateful for right now, and making your way towards a new relationship with growing, achieving dreams, and making your goals happen.

I really think august is the most perfect time to do this work. its soft, gentle, and a game changer for your mind body and soul.

every month I take our community through a different theme around self growth, self love, healing, and mindfulness. I bring you a comprehensive practice at the beginning of the month, meet you with a letter in the middle, and close you out with a deep dive journaling practice. its pure magic!!

if you’re curious to join, you can do so here. and if you’re already a member, thank you from the bottom of my heart, your presence in this space truly means the world.

✧join lessons in self love✧

you can check out the august post here:

August Self Love Practice: Feeling Alive Again

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Aug 1

hi my lovely community! welcome to your august self love practice. i spoke to a number of you in our subscriber chat, and so many people voted for the theme of “feeling alive again” and I cant say I wasn’t super excited… because that’s exactly the theme that I have been moving through myself, and I would love nothing more than for us all to do it together.

p.s. im an AUTHOR!...

if you’ve found comfort, inspiration, or a little bit of magic here at The Fairy & The Moon, you might love my debut guided journal, Becoming Your Own Bestfriend.

It's a soft place to land — a beautiful space for reflection, healing, and self-discovery. Filled with thoughtful prompts and gentle guidance, it's designed to help you slow down, turn inward, and build a deeper relationship with yourself, one page at a time.

explore the journal!❥