ReedyBear's Blog. I write about books, politics, video games, mental health, and whatever else is on my mind.
for the same reason I don't want to live in an authoritarian state, even if my quality of life is good. I believe in the right to self determination. For myself. For other individuals. For our communities. And for our society at large. Large-scale capitalist firms, run by small boards of elites, owned by shareholders, do not provide self determination. These are top-down control structures. We…
I've written a lot of book reviews , and I write one for every book I read now, sometimes including books I don't finish. And they are, arguably, bad reviews. Poorly written. Full of spoilers. Not enough detail to hook you. Too much yammering. But I spend a week or two reading a book ( if it's fiction. Non-fiction I tend to spend months on one book ), and I just wanna YAP ABOUT IT. I'm not in any…
I was feeling really good yesterday. I'm feeling pretty good today too. These days scare me a little. I'm happy, I'm energetic, I'm fairly capable. And then the ideas start coming. I haven't been very involved in the world over the last 2 years due to my mental disability. I used to get ideas and run with them and burnout. I don't do that any more. But on days like yesterday, it feels like I could…
The Foxglove King is a fantasy novel set in sort-of medieval times, but with magic things. The main ( perhaps only ) magic system is around death, called 'Mortem'. There is an underground market of people who run and sell poison. People take small doses of poison, which can get them high. Or it can prolong their life. Basically they walk the edge of death and it allows them to live longer lives.…
It is genuinely one of the most fun experiences I've had. There were 11 of us. There are no physical props; all props are imaginary. So our instructor, C, says "I have a red ball" and pantomimes, and then she throws it to someone, who catches it. And we go around the circle, saying "Reed, here's the red ball; M, here's the red ball" throwing it to one another. C grew the red ball & shrank the red…
I've had conflicts with a couple friends recently who have approached the conflicts in ways I'm not very happy about. I've struggled a lot with how I felt about it. I've been angry, I've been defensive, and I've debated about how much I'm willing to tolerate, debated about where my boundaries lie. And I've asked myself: What if they were kids? It's a difficult question because they are not kids.…
The last one was productivity ep 3 . ( I think 'struggle' is now the name of this series. idk. ) Yesterday. I wasn't planning on any productivity, persay. Most of what I did yesterday was play video games. Watched some TV. After my wakeup TV, food, coffee, and video games ( worked on improving an old Trackmania map ), I meditated, and then I went for a walk. It was kinda hot, but decent out, and I…
The last one was called panic ep 2 . Today's didn't involve panic, but it did exhaust me, and it did cause some symptomatic behavior to surface. Today's productivity wasn't an intentional time block like the last two. I meditated, then blogged about it, then got myself motivated. I got new books from the library - I had started another romance-fantasy The Foxglove King . It's far better than a…
I've had a lot of ideas over the years, many for things that would be good for my local community, for my city. I've acted and followed through on some of them. I've started and petered out on others. At this moment, none of them are ongoing. When I'm toying with any of these ideas, I'm often thinking about how I could turn it into a real business , that makes money, one that I could put sustained…
I meditate before bed every night. My default mental state is ... stressful. Just this semi-constant tension and anxious thoughts that go with it - what could I have said differently, what am I doing tomorrow, mistakes from years ago, etc etc. Before bed, I'm very tired. But I'm almost incapable of falling asleep without this meditation, because I lie down and the tired is overpowered by the…