There’s a lot of information out there that talks about what you should and shouldn’t do when it comes to reading and early literacy. So let me tell you about how I’m “failing” at those things.
If you’ve been a long-time reader of this newsletter, this is not news to you. There are all these glossy images of parents cozied up in bed with their kids leaning on their chest as they read picture books together. That has never happened in my house and I doubt will happen in the foreseeable future. By the time bedtime rolls around, my patience is wearing thin and the kid gets yeeted into her room.
My preschooler is showing a lot of signs that she’s gearing up for literacy. There are those in my life asking when I’ll start teaching her to read. This is not something I am actively focused on or trying to develop. She learned to walk in her own sweet time and she potty trained in her own sweet time. This is a parenting lesson I’ve learned the hard way and the message has been received loud and clear. She will learn when she’s at school by someone who knows how to teach kids to read (aka not me).
I get a mix of books with varying levels of complexity. Some days, it’s a board book kind of day with maybe 15 words in the whole “story.” Some days, we’re reading a fairy tale. I do not pressure her to read more advanced books. I will keep trying to read her more advanced books. But if her eyes start glazing over or she gets distracted then I know she’s not quite ready for it. So while I don’t read above her level often, I do follow her interest cues.
I do NOT read every day. I read almost every day. I know what’s important to me (raising a reader) so I try to demonstrate that however I can. Sometimes that means reading books every chance we get during a day. Sometimes, that means she watches me peruse a magazine while I have a meal in another room (because I’ve had it). There are many ways to instill a love for reading and, yes, reading with your kids is the best way, but it’s also okay to show them that sometimes reading doesn’t happen and that doesn’t make us any less of a reader.
We’re not there yet developmentally. She’s not picking out books at the library, she’s pulling books out at the library. Big difference. Ask me how I know. I still curate quite a bit of her reading and while it’s very much shaped on her interests at the time, it is still me doing the choosing. Sometimes, she genuinely chooses a book and is excited to read it which is great. But I enjoy this phase because this means I get to pick out books that I know she’ll like and won’t drive me crazy. Win-win.
There’s reading and then there’s reading. My goal is to first and foremost raise someone who takes hedonistic, unbridled pleasure in the act of reading. The letters and sight words and phonetics have an important place in this endeavor but they are not my purview. My kid will be taught to read in school by a teacher and while she will always get support from me, if and when she needs it, that is not what I am focused on.
I measure my success by how she values books. Does she need to be reading every waking minute? No. Does she need to have read a certain number of books? No. But if she is interested in books, enjoys going to the library, and has a genuine fondness for books, that is victory to me.
What’s something about raising kids that you felt you should do but don’t actually do?
What’s your measure of success when it comes to raising a reader?
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