The full cup of summer

A few weeks ago, I arrived back in Canada from a trip to my Pictish and Celtic ancestral lands. Since then I have been wondering:

How did I ever do anything in the world without my feet having been on Scottish soil?

How did I even walk down the street or do my job?

I have no idea.

For me, ancestral connection is so visceral, so re-organizing, and so easy compared to foreign spiritual traditions, even when foreign traditions are one I have an affinity for or an “I’ve done this before” feeling.

My bones felt returned to the Scottish highlands. Questions I’ve been chewing on for years resolved with full body knowing.

Homecoming is that dizzyingly stable intake of all that you are and come from that returns essence to essence, spirit to spirit. Old ways and new bodies loving life together. And If you tell your ancestors that you are coming, they will prepare.

I landed back in Canada, love soaked from Scotland, just in time for Scott and I to celebrate 10 years of marriage with a wed-ivirsary: a wedding-like ritual and weekend celebration with friends. It was a chance to consciously choose each other again, to mark our updated intentions with ritual, and to celebrate where we have been, who we are now, and the mystery of where we are going.

The perk of having a second wedding to the same person, something I always knew/hoped we would do, is that you already know how to throw a wedding and can drop deeper into the sweetness of the connections and rituals without all the holy shit! and juggling details of a first wedding.

I came home even more love filled and grateful, into the full joy of summer, and was quickly drawn to every opportunity and project available.

Summer runs the risk of turning some of us into fireflies.

An acupuncturist friend reminded me that we are still in the fire horse year, and that in the summer (fire season) it is important to take care not to burn out your fire by doing ALL the things, even if you are extremely inspired about ALL the things.

Lively, passionate, creative fire-type people especially need to be careful of summer burnout this year, she told me.

So I swallowed the fear of missing out and sat down with a list of everything that I was inspired about, then fiercely pruned it like the wisest gardener, so I could breathe again.

I remembered that the cup of summer is filled not just by what we do or create, but by our senses and how we receive what we take in.

For me this is:

Birdsong.

The sweet miniature strawberry on my tongue.

The warm blue eyes of a good friend.

My daughter‘s hysterical laughter.

The steady silence of writing on the rare days when uninterrupted space is available

Sunlight on legs until I feel lit from within.

I continue to ask myself:

How much of summer can you drink in? Where are the still moments?

Today I’m sharing two creative projects (below) that I’m really proud of with the opportunities to participate or share with people who might want to participate.

Reconstructing the Sacred:

A Mixed Methods Study of Recovery After Spiritual Abuse (my dissertation) explores what recovery looks like after spiritual abuse including the role of grief, ritual, finding new meaning, how your spirituality has changed, and what helped along the way.

You may be eligible if you:

~Are aged 18 or over and fluent in English
~Have experienced religious or spiritual abuse in the past
~Have been out of the abusive situation for at least three years
~Currently have a meaningful spiritual life
~Feel that participation would not be distressing for you

Investigating the Mental Health Needs of People Exiting High Demand Groups is led by Dr. Smart at the University of Victoria.

Others who are involved in the project are Rayann Gordon (graduate student at the University of Salford), Nazanin Babaei (graduate student at the University of Victoria), and Amanda Reaume and Sydney Klassen (undergraduate students at the University of Victoria).

This substack is a monthly newsletter on power dynamics in spirituality, animism, ritual, and creativity. This summer newsletters may be a bit less frequent because of the lovely projects above, along with the 12.5 weeks of summer vacation my daughter has (compared to the reasonable and more affordable 6 in the UK).

Though great for teachers, the 3 month summer vacation in Canada is rough on other people, namely all the non-rich. A fun fact for parents is that the long summer break practice was developed in the early 1900s by urban elites who liked to avoid cities in the summer. Since I am sure I will be very unpopular in my neighborhood if I engage in the ‘shorten summer vacation’ advocacy that is in my heart, I’ll just say that I have not forgotten about you, dear reader, and this newsletter will continue in a sustainable, non-AI generated fashion.

May your cup be filled, your attention free to attend to attend to that which you love, and the light of summer warm your heart and hands.

With love,

Rayann