Well, it’s a tender time, seeing the back end of patriarchy exposed in the Epstein files.
I feel like I’m often digging around in the gears of the patriarchy machine as my graduate studies go on in the psychology of coercive control. I wish that the last year and a half of being saturated in this stuff would equip me with some helpful words for those struggling with what’s coming out right now, but I have been stuck for days. I attempted and scrapped this email 3 times. What do you say, knowing how widespread and normalized the damage is?
What I have learned over the past year and a half though, of taking in the worst cases I’ve ever imagined across domestic violence, human trafficking, gangs, cults, and violent extremism, is something I’ve gleaned from the words and tone of my professors.
Before introducing some particularly grisly material, they often say matter of factly,
“This material is distressing. Just take care of yourself, walk away if you need to, then come back later.” They never coddle anyone and they never make a big deal about it.
What I take from it is:
We are all adults and we need to look at this.
We don’t need to fetishize it or sensationalize it.
We just need to look at it
and take just the right amount of information
so we can do the work to change it.
That is how I feel now, amidst rising fascism and the Epstein files. I am taking in the amount I need to sharpen, to get clearer, and as it is with the material I get exposed to at school, what I take in needs to be balanced with what brings me strength.
So I wonder, dear one, what is it that keeps your spirits up?
And I mean spirits UP, not numbing out.
Raising energy is different than getting your nervous system regulated, resting, or binging TV; it’s about remembering ourselves, what we stand for, and who walks with us. It’s about feeling the essence of what we bring to these times.
For me, lately it’s singing, drumming, big old trees, dancing, ritual, being with dear friends, and writing.
It’s not fluffy stuff, lifting your spirit. It’s survival and reorientation to your own compass and getting the guidance you need to show up in a good way one day at a time. It is also half of the alchemy—because it is allowing grief and rage WHILE keeping our spirits up that will help us break these longstanding collective curses, like the patriarchy machine. Perhaps they are becoming ever more visible, because on some level they are ready to be broken.
1. An interview I did on A State of Mind podcast about cult dynamics in meditation communities:
We had a beautiful Tending the Writer’s Flame at the end of January. I basked in the simplicity of creating together and doing ritual with 20 lovely humans, phone free for a weekend. Registration is open for our May 2-3 non-residential retreat in Victoria, BC
Monarca - training everyday Minnesotans to help protect each other’s rights. Democracy support on the ground. They accept donations to support trainings.
Our Phones Are Destroying Human Connections: awesome article by a mom in my neighborhood.
Want to explore spirit and art in Greece? My colleague Katherine Rita is leading this program in June: Mediumship & Mythos: A Journey of Animism and Creative Ritual in the Greek Isles. Katherine is a skilled teacher, ritualist, and artist—I absolutely wish I could attend!
Web designer Jesse Thom: He has done lots of web work for me in the past and is lovely to work with.
The Body is a Doorway by Sophie Strand. It usually takes me a long time to read a book—not this one! I DEVOURED it and re-listened to some chapters over and over. It was my favorite book of 2025.
May you be free and may you be well.
Rayann is an educator, researcher, and ritualist. She helps 1:1 clients and groups get to know their guides and ancestors, recover from spiritual abuse, and unlock creativity. Currently completing her MSc in the Psychology of Coercive Control at the University of Salford, Rayann also assists research projects at the University of Victoria studying cult survivors’ mental health needs. She lives, quilts, writes, practices Seiðr, and dances on Lekungwen ancestral lands (Victoria, BC, Canada). Rayann co-facilitates Tending the Writer’s Flame and is a member of the Right Use of Power Institute and the Association for Spiritual Integrity.
Learn more: Rayanngordon.com
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