When Carrot met Chilli — a verdant new beginning

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This is a series with posts that can stand alone, but are better consumed as a complete batch. The components of the Chilli-Carrot saga are as follows:

Chilli's Intro

Carrot's Intro

Chilli’s targeted workouts to build his red-hot abs brought unintended consequences to his already worry-ridden life. The intensity of the daily strength training Chilli practised under the guidance of his faithful spider personal trainer made his roots gain monstrous levels of cellulitic strength. Although short and bushy, Chilli’s roots began punching through the plastic pot they were held inside, creating deepening cracks that started spilling out soil debris and bits of pebble. Husk-like exoskeleton of unnamed moulting or half-eaten insects — the spider’s leftovers — also rolled out from inner parts of the soil in the pot.

Spider, who didn’t like change in any shape of form, becomes visibly agitated by these structural landscaping Chilli’s roots caused to its home. The arachnid attempted to pull a fraying plastic edge back into the pot, holding two corners with two of its legs while rotating its hips, tracing them across the patterned cracks. Shimmery white threads appear across the wedge between the lines, bridging it with silken, spidery Elastoplasts. Just as the spider finished two damaged sections of the pot, a bumbling housefly nosedives into one of the silk patches, mistaking it for sugary cotton candy. The fly is now stuck between the folds of the glue-like concentrated webbing, with the spider watching closely. Delighted by this unexpected snack after a hard hour’s toil, the spider munches on the fly’s head, gleefully ripping it off.

Alas, Chilli’s roots, which now have its own mind, has other lunch plans for spider. A couple of strands of the fibrous roots unfurled so violently against their walls that the motion caused them to whiplash against one of spider’s carefully constructed silk patches. The crack now reopens with a bunch of straggling roots now reaching the windowsill on which the chilli plant is stationed. Spider’s half eaten lunch is also now strewn across the white surface, a shapeless mass consisting of a single wing and a pair of very tiny, very hairy legs.

The human who owns Chilli appears suddenly in the spider’s sight. As it scurries back into the handy little crevices between Chilli’s leaves and the large, furry leaves of a neighbouring plant, the human notices the cracked pot with the roots hanging out. Chilli becomes red in the face from embarrassment at his own roots’ doing, a reaction which slowly lessens the reddishness of his now loosening abs. “This just won’t do,” the human tells the plant with an audible sigh. Human returns, now donning a pair of grey gardening gloves. To Chilli’s horror, he lifts the plant, cracked pot and all, and carries it out of the kitchen door. As they head out of the living room, the spider wails out to Chilli, in between screech-like, convulsive sobs:

“Remember… remember….remember,

everything I taught you dear friend!

as muscles grow fast, they dismember

your capsaicinful… placental tissue…

Remember, you need to mend!

so there’s no cytoplasmic issue

Mind over muscle, spice over the nice

things you feel when you relax and curl

your biceps, triceps, and root cortices,

vagrant, energetic ATPases…

restless, rapacious oxidases…

OXIDATIVE STRESSSSSSSESSS!!!!!!!!!!

Fast growth isn’t ever good

At most, you’d become bird food

before you say spare me, Your Royal Highness,

the more you flex your deliciousness….

Aaaaaaahhhhhhh………”

***

Human carries Chilli out of the front door to the garden. They strip the plant of its broken pot with bits of spider-glue still stuck on the sides, disposing the used plastic into the nearby wheelbarrow. They loosen Chilli’s errant roots with their rough, gloved fingers, and this caused the temporarily sentient roots to giggle uncontrollably.

“Ha ha hah ahahahha hahah ahhahaha hahahah… ehehhehhhhhheeeeee!!!!!!” the roots let out. This commotion was inaudible to human ears, but it stirred the thin, fine, rough and peppery leaves of a small, short bush situated right next to Chilli. The mini bush is full of Lady Bugs, who begin flying around anxiously, and curiously at the presence of Human and their never-before-seen plant and its shrubby roots which are now laughing so hard, their involuntary spasms are loosening up more and more soil debris which they collectively held between them.

The chilli plant’s soil particles rain on the mini bush. The black powder falling from the human’s left hand glove is now refined and airy as opposed to being compacted within the previous plastic pot it was held in. The particles pelt the mini bush’s delicate leaves. The leaves spiral as the long stalks attached to them begin twisting in the opposite direction in a slow deliberate manner. A breeze flits between the tiny spaces between the bush leaves. Their movements synchronise in one direction, like hair being brushed and fluffed up by a static paddle comb. It looks like they are swaying mid-Waltz, leaning closer and closer to the now leaning Chilli. The pepper plant is being held mid-air, at a tilt. One of Chilli’s leaves is now drooping dangerously close towards mini bush’s extended reach.

Anxious Chilli is now fretting over his future without his spider coach. His heart pained at spider’s wails of caution and blames himself for breaking the pot and causing all this ridiculous mess. He could feel his capsaicin concentrations in his placental abs now oscillating between spicy hot to radically strenuous, causing a gurgling sensation from within. Since he is still suspended, the gravitational forces play games with Chilli’s mind, causing a feeling of mild intoxication and vertigo.

Then he felt a light brush against the shoulder of his leaf. He shudders at this spectral bodily intrusion which delivered multiples cell signals across all roots and shoots, finally delivering to Chilli, the lone fruit. The touch was not velvety and light like the spider’s undersides, not as light as the silken webs, and yet, not that much heavier. There was a slight peppery raspiness, resembling the surface of a smaller, rougher leaf, which provided a perfect contrast to the Chilli’s waxy-smooth leaf. The friction was so light, and yet the effects were so dramatically amplified to the now disorientated Chilli.

Chilli looks down to the source of this touch, and he was surprised to see the miniature bush’s sultry leaves undulating by his side. Aided by dance instructions from the breeze, the bush leaves felt around their surrounds, waving and bending like the artful fingers of a Thai apsara dancer. Chilli hears flute-like sounds coming from the foot of this curiously beautiful, peacocking bush.

This “flute” music is none other than the artistic works of the Wind God. He found two hollowed puncture-marks on a ground tuber, and he magicked new rules of Physics which allowed him to make music by blowing through these rounded caverns. Different frequencies can be produced this way, and he added sound ornamentations that matched the hand-like movements of the tuber’s bushy leaves. If Wind God forces a dramatic bend on one of the stalks, he blows a series of constructive interferences through the crevices, producing a ridge-cut sound very very similar to what we call vibrato in Western classical music or spuritham in Indian classical music.

Chilli, now mid-air, is lowered even further until his rear end nearly touched the ground. The shimmering sounds produced by Wind God via the crevices on the tuber excited Chilli’s senses, making his sharp and spice levels turn temporarily sweet, rounded and fruity. Chilli’s white flower blossomed next to him, indicating that he should turn around. Chilli turned. He became awestruck.

The tuber on the ground, to which the mini bush belonged to, whose face punctures were musically played with by Wind God, was none other that Carrot. Young, resplendent orange Carrot with those impossibly well-groomed brows. It carves out a side smile, as though it sufficed as a form of greeting or acknowledgement for Chilli.

Chilli turns redder and redder. His worry lines momentarily flatten, his eyes widen, his jaws hang open, his tensed ab muscles relax, almost forming a happy cuddle pouch in his stomach. All in response to Carrot’s ethereal beauty. The mouse’s teeth punctures on Carrot’s face now serve it as irresistible beauty marks that also double as a melodic accompaniments.

***

Chilli, a hot summer-month plant, is now happily planted as a companion for Carrot, the tuber that can survive the winter by concentrating all its sugars within itself and its roots. During hot summer days, Chilli’s big, waxy leaves tower over Carrot’s mini bush, acting as green umbrellas to shield the tuber from harmful UV rays. Carrot’s root-powered soil aeration skills are excellent, which means that its roots will always make sure there is enough oxygen for effective nutrient uptake for Chilli, from the ground up.

Chilli now doesn’t need to worry about being sprayed by aphid nectar, as Carrot is another famous attractor of Lady Bugs who will lacerate Chilli’s mortal enemies with their sharp, constantly gnashing jaws.

“So, you like your new neighbour?” One Lady Bug asks Carrot. Carrot responds with a sheepish smile, “Oh, don’t you worry, he’s one fabulously fine fellow!”

Another Lady Bug brings a dead maggot as an offering to Chilli. It placed the still larva at the plant’s foot, only to find it voraciously slurped up by the thin, velvety snout of a ground-wandering mole. “I’m sorry, they are everywhere,” Lady Bug apologises. Chilli laughs nervously. “Welcome to our garden,” Lady Bug said, to which Chilli responded: “Thank you, I love it here!”

“Have you got any questions?” the bright red beetle asks. “Just one,” Chilli replies. “Urm, since you will be hanging around here, will you be my personal trainer? I’m training to counter the effects of climate change on my capsaicin levels, the hotter summers are increasing moisture levels inside me and reducing my hotness. I could really do with someone who could motivate me to carry out my workouts without fail, everyday.”

Lady Bug pauses at this request. Then it breaks into a loud, snorting guffaw. “You want ME? To train YOU?” The beetle composes itself, avoiding a minor collapse over its own feet over the supposed comedic effect of this conversation. “Have you seen my belly? It’s so round. I am so round, my friend, I am chubba bubba. I can’t help YOU!” Then the beetle glanced downwards. It reached an understanding of the situation.

“You want me to ask Carrot to train you?” Lady Bug asks, its gaze fixated on Chilli’s now shifting eyes. Chilli reddens further. “No no nonno…!” Chilli exclaims. The Lady Bug cheekily flies down to Carrot to convey the contents of its conversation with Chilli. Carrot looks up at the Chilli. “Hey hot stuff, are you too far high up your ivory tower to come and speak to me directly?” Chilli reddens, almost losing its verdancy. He bows daintily to Carrot. “Sorry ma’am. Would you do me the honour of being my personal instructor?” Carrot replies, with a mighty laugh: “I was born to do that.”

***

With Carrot’s help, Chilli’s capsaicin and resultant confidence levels shoot up to max. They live happily together, but will they stay as companions as summer’s end draws closer, with Chilli being a tropical plant and Carrot being a frost-withstanding one? What does winter hold for these plant companions? Find out in the next instalment, to be published on 22nd September 2025.