Action Is Required On Your Part!

Can I get your phone number? Are you a member of our rewards program? Would you like to save 10% today? Will you fill out our survey? Did you authorize this transaction? This call is being monitored for training purposes. I’m now going to read you our disclaimers and you have to say yes.

You have to sign in through our portal. I’m the chatbot. I don’t get any of that service fee or delivery fee - you have to tip me. Use our self-check. You can’t buy alcohol at the self-check.

Immediate Action Required!

Holy hell and what have we become? Simple things are simple no more. You can’t just go buy something without it being a whole thing. Even online. We have so many modern conveniences and we use them to make things more complicated.

Lawyers - fucking lawyers are the ones who drive all this and give us all way, way, way too much to do. We gotta listen to Flight Attendants reading carefully worded legalese - and not for our safety - but in an attempt to mitigate airline liability in the event of a mishap or worse. Unless you think people actually need to be shown and told how to work a seatbelt in 2026… for safety purposes…

No - it’s for the witness stand, or on deposition. Did you tell and show them how to fasten their seatbelts? Whew. Good. We’re not liable…

And every other item on the safety briefing is for the same reason. Ask any industry insider.

I’m looking into converting my home to solar-powered. Lots of good reasons to do that - not the least of which is saving real money - but the other day I’m exposed to a whole new level of this shit -

Wear em down. Slow em down. Confuse em. Put as much work back on the customer as humanly possible

It’s bad - and it’s getting worse - and I’m not sure what we can do anymore - but as always, I’ve got some ideas… and I’ve practiced these things for years with some pretty good results.