Struggling Through a Life Transition? It’s Not Just You

“It’s not just you.”

I would have done almost anything to hear those words last fall.

Instead, I wondered if there was something wrong with me.

Why was Avery going to college so painful? Why did my own body suddenly feel unfamiliar to me? Why did the world seem to have so much less color?

I didn’t fully understand it then, but I was standing at one of the greatest thresholds of my life. I was at the edge of one way of living without quite knowing who I would be in the next.

That’s the thing about thresholds. Sometimes we know they’re coming. Other times, they arrive without our permission. But so often, they ask us to release something comfortingly familiar while stretching toward a way of living—and sometimes a version of ourselves—we haven’t known before.

A child leaves home.

Someone you love dies.

You lose a job or begin a new one.

You move.

You divorce or remarry.

Something happens that divides life into before and after.

You retire.

Your body changes.

You become a caregiver.

Life changes—and suddenly, we can feel a little unfamiliar to ourselves.

Last year, in the middle of all that unfamiliarity, I began repeating five words to myself:

They became some of the kindest words I could offer myself.

They helped me stop judging myself for not knowing how to navigate a place I’d never been. They helped me stay with myself rather than abandon myself when things got hard.

But there was something else I needed that I didn’t understand then.

Recently, I’ve been reading a life-changing book that put language around that missing piece. As I read, I kept thinking, Oh, how I wish I’d had this last year.

It helped me understand why transitions can shake not only our sense of familiarity, but our sense of identity, belonging, and even how we know we matter.

So many pieces of my own experience began falling into place. And now I want to share what I’ve learned with you.

That’s a big part of what we’ll explore in tomorrow’s Treehouse gathering at 7pm Eastern: how to find our way through life’s thresholds without losing ourselves in the unfamiliarity.

Because if you’re standing at a threshold right now and wondering why it’s harder than you expected, why you don’t quite feel like yourself, or why everyone else seems to be handling change better than you are, I want you to hear what I desperately needed to hear:

Whether this is your first Treehouse Gathering or your twentieth, my hope is that you leave with a little more compassion for where you are and a little more steadiness as you find your way.

In addition to the teaching, I’ll guide us through a simple nervous-system practice and a Threshold Inventory to help you compassionately explore the doorway you’re standing in right now. Please bring some paper and something to write with.

Recently, this beautiful comment was left on the June Gathering replay:

“I’ve quietly been reading your work for years, and I finally decided to join this precious community of souls. Your June teaching was phenomenal, and I needed to hear every word you shared. The compassion and tenderness you offer felt like the biggest hug.

I felt so seen and understood.” –Traci

Those words mean so much to me because that is exactly what I hope the Treehouse can be, a place where someone else’s honesty might help you realize, Oh. It’s not just me. And there is still light ahead.

I welcome you to come exactly as you are tomorrow. Sit, stretch, knit, draw, listen quietly, or add thoughts in the chat. You don’t have to have your camera on, and you never have to speak. There is no right way to participate here.

If you need to come late or leave early, that’s completely okay. The teaching will be recorded, and the replay will be available Monday, along with a printable Companion Guide offering three practices to help you notice where you are, understand what your current threshold is asking of you, and care for yourself as you move through it.

Tomorrow, we’ll meet each other wherever we happen to be standing.

Be gentle with yourself. You’ve never been here before.

🪜 Please let me know if you will be climbing the ladder. It brings me comfort and joy to know the names of those who are planning on gathering with me.

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