Harmony in the Dark

We’re told “bad things come in threes.” So after we endure two, a new disaster almost brings relief. But being pummelled by a fourth thing can push us over.

I’ve had one of those weeks. Three bad things, then something that shook me.

I’d planned to write about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs in relation to Work-Life Harmony… but life pulled me down.

I’d been thinking about the anthropological research that led to Maslow’s widely loved (and criticised) hierarchy of needs. In his 1954 book ‘Motivation and Personality,’ Maslow describes his field research with the Siksika Nation people and I found it interesting that before drawing generalisations, he said the Siksika are:

“[…]all people, individuals, human beings, and only secondarily Blackfoot Indians[…] the constitutional differences in our own culture are observable all over the world, e.g. differences in intelligence, in forcefulness, in activity or lethargy, in calmness or emotionality etc.

Even where differences have been seen they may confirm the feeling of universality since they are very often immediately understandable as reactions of the sort that any human being would be prone to in similar circumstances, eg, reactions to frustrations, to anxiety, to bereavement, to triumph, to approaching death.”

That being said, Maslow did recognise that some cultures are more peaceful and harmonious than others, and he explained this through the lens of thwarting or threats to basic human needs.

I started writing about Maslow and the idea of ubuntu as an odd was of processing the constant news of international violence. The Xhosa concept of shared humanity and interdependent existence is summarised in ubuntu which roughly translates to: “I am because we are.”

Ubuntu and communal harmony felt important to discuss in this time of global aggression.

I suppose tumbling down the Maslow rabbit hole was part of an attempt to develop a positive philosophy of Work-Life Harmony that doesn’t disregard suffering.

I didn’t know how much I’d need that for myself a few days later.

I’ve always believed that what’s true across cultures and times, is true for all humanity. It’s why I enjoyed history in school. It’s why I did my MSc in Medical Anthropology. I suppose having had a fractured and chaotic childhood nudged me towards trying to understand humanity better, so I could feel equip to navigate a world that felt unsafe.

Despite years of trauma therapy, my obsession with ancient and cross-cultural philosophies remains. So I wanted to apply Maslow’s ideas into something less a Eurocentric, sequential progression towards success and more of an inclusive, collective perspective on well-being and harmony.

I started playing around with diagrams and, though this one needs further development (including reflection on systemic injustice and structural violence), I wanted to share it to discuss what happens when our needs aren’t met.

This week an incident threatened my core needs, but I still needed to show up for my family and businesses. I had key meetings; my kids had big events; I’m raising an SEIS investment round and the tax year deadline is looming (please let me know if you want the deck). I struggled with finding Work-Life Harmony in a week that felt relentless.

Last newsletter I wrote, “creating Work-Life Harmony involves designing a life where your ambitions, relationships, creativity, health and wellbeing work together, in line with your values, instead of constantly competing for limited resources.”

I’m not sure I have the answers yet, or if I ever will. I do have some thoughts and alternative analogies that have helped me find peace in turmoil. I hope these concepts help you or someone you love when you need them too.

I usually describe Work-Life Harmony with the idea of a conductor directing an orchestra. And yes this explains Work-Life Harmony… but so does the analogy of an ecosystem.

Ecosystems need: continuous energy, water, nutrient cycling, biodiversity and resilience against disturbance to flourish. With those resources they flourish, without them, they’re destroyed.

I had a dark week. My ecosystem was threatened. I didn’t have the resources needed to maintain harmony. But I do have an incredible community who supported me to flush out destructive pollution.

When close friend’s asked what I needed, I really didn’t know. But a friend turned up with food; helped with my backlog of housework; entertained my twins; and supported with crisis admin. Another lay in the dark with me till I was ready to speak; then picked up my kids so I could get ready for an award dinner I’d been looking forward to but didn’t know if I could face; she sorted my outfit, prayed with me and even figured out how to help crochet miracle knots on the spot to help me fix my hair. My brother joined me for the dinner and after giving me a chance to talk things through, filled the evening with the lightness and silliness I often don’t know I need in dark times.

So I made it to the awards. As I was leaving, I complimented someone on her dress and we bonded for a moment over both almost not making the event because of hellish weeks. She said, “well, thank God we don’t look like what we’ve been through.” And I thought how grateful I was for a loving community that makes that possible.

I can only sustain Work-Life Harmony because of the community around me. And what a privilege to be able to not look like what you’ve been through. Showing up and experiencing moments of joy in darkness can be empowering.

My takeaway from this week has been just how important our environments and communities are in being able to live well. And that turning up is underrated. In every sense.

This month:

• Rachael’s Harmony Experiments: Rhythm-setting with awareness of cycles & seasons

• Joy Bringers: The Wealth Habit + other cool books, Marie & Rosetta, Potwee Golden Sea Moss (RAE10 for offer)

• Creative Sparks: The Agency (Original Short Story)

• Opportunities & Resources: Funding for Founders & Creatives, The 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Web App & free Serious Trainer personalised fitness app

• The Harmony Question: reflective prompt (share your thoughts with me directly, discuss in the comments or use for journaling)

I’m learning that annual, monthly, weekly and daily rhythms have to shift in line with cycles & seasons that are outside of our control, and we need to do this regularly to maintain Work-Life Harmony.

Here are some rhythms that I use, I hope you find some helpful!

I’ve also been making videos on this idea, here’s the first in the series. Please leave a comment to let me know which other parts would be helpful to unpack.

And here’s a new Mum Dem Pod Episode on the invisible load!

Marie and Rosetta with Beverley Knight & Zo Ndlovu has insane vocals; a moving story about friendship, creativity and legacy; and the first ever all Black Female band on the West End. Limited run till 11th April at Soho Theatre, I’d deffo recommend booking!

The Wealth Habit by Ken & Mary Okoroafor is becoming one of my favourite actionable finance books. The concepts align beautifully with Work-Life Harmony and each chapter ends with reflection questions and a small action step. Useful to read alone and a fun one to work though with others (I’ll be going through it with my husband and another couple as soon as we finish discussing Financial Joy, Ken and Mary’s first book!)

Also reading…

Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus (2022, 1950s historical fiction read)

The Fishermen by Chigozie Obioma (2015, literary fiction read)

With: Reimagining the Way You Relate to God by Skye Jethani (2011, spiritual read)

Motivation and Personality by Abraham Maslow (1954, psychology read)

Success Habits by Napoleon Hill (2018, but based on his 1950s lectures, self-improvement read)

And I have only just noticed the strangely recurrent 50s theme… Guess I’ve been in a very 1950s time in my life.

I love sea moss for gut health, immune support & skin. It’s high in iodine, antioxidants and natural polysaccharides which support healthy, hydrated skin. My favourite is from an area in St Lucia called Potwee and I’m super excited to have just pre-ordered some from friends of mine who are selling a limited batch of organic, sun dried Golden Sea Moss, blended into a gel with spring water.

They’ve kindly offered free delivery with code RAE26

Potwee Seamoss

Whilst impatiently waiting for my Potwee Seamoss to upgrade my smoothies, I’ve been adding Jersey milk and a spoon of Perfect Ted Blueberry Matcha to my velvitiser for an easy homemade matcha latte. It tastes soooo good and gives me sustained energy throughout the day without any caffeine crashes. Let me know if you try it.

This post is getting long! So I’ll just say I hope The Agency inspires something for you.

🚀💷 ESA Business Applications Funding by European Space Agency
Who it’s for: Startups, founders and businesses using space tech, data or satellites
Zero-equity funding (typically €60k–€3M+) and support. Not just space tech, can be climate, cities, health, mobility, agriculture or anything else powered by space tech.
More info and apply

🌍💷 URRA Residency (Buenos Aires) by URRA
Who it’s for: UK-based visual artists (emerging to mid-career).
Fully funded international residency offering time, space and community to develop art without pressure to produce finished work.
Artworkarchive.com

🎬💷 Venice Gap-Financing Market 2026 by La Biennale di Venezia
Who it’s for: Film producers with feature-length projects in development or post-production.
Prestigious industry market held during the Venice International Film Festival, connecting filmmakers with international financiers to secure funding.
Apply here

🏛️💷 The Stephen Lloyd Awards
Who it’s for: Founders of early stage businesses, charities or CICs
£25,000 in seed funding for early-stage projects solving systemic social or environmental problems
More info and apply

Two years ago I set myself a goal to heal my diastasis, lose my baby weight and feel appreciative for a healthy and functional body. I’d say I’m just about there! One of the things that’s helped hugely is the Serious Trainer app built by a member of this community. It’s now in beta mode on the App Store and Play Store and free using this link:

Try Serious Trainer App Free

I’ve upgraded the app I built to help you (and me) find Work-Life Harmony in just 5 minutes every morning.

The 54321 App

The app is free for now, but it does have development costs so if you like it and are in a position to do so, please consider upgrading your membership to support the app.

Upgrade Now

Does harmony or discord dominate in your life right now and what one shift could you make to maximise communal harmony around you?

Thanks for reading to the end! I hope The Work-Life Harmony Method helps you to live well.

xoxo – Rachael