The 450th Boston Marathon

Stephen: Ryan, hello. Welcome home.

Ryan: Hello, Stephen. I’ve returned from Boston. I bet you didn’t think I’d come back.

SK: I thought we lost you to, as our dear friend Paul put it: “a provincial form of Boston cool.” But it appears you dodged drinking Dunkin and aquiring a Barbour coats while finding your way back to Brooklyn.

I feel like you were giving the Group Chat some fun, little boots-on-the-ground anecdotes about what you were seeing out there and I’d like to broach a few of them for our dozen or so readers, but first I’d like to unpack one of your “working theories” about how Boston is sort of a teflon to the Run Club Mania sweeping our cities.

RS: I’d like to apologize to any reader who happens to be from Boston right off the bat. But Boston is probably the least cool city I’ve ever visited. It’s a town for nerds (Good Will Hunting) and old fashioned working class criminals (The Departed/Good Will Hunting).

What that means, I think, is that despite world major marathons drawing the hyper-visible end of the running spectrum (tattooed run club members), what I mainly saw in Boston were old men and women wearing very lame (brightly colored) clothes and Asics Gel Keyanos (the oldest and least cool trainer to ever exist) clogging the sidewalks and talking to each other about how many Boston Marathons they’ve ran (many). I’d like to clarify that this was a good thing. It felt like nature was healing. Back to the roots (nerds) if you will.

Does that make sense? Sorry for all the parentheses.

SK: The uninitiated reading this will think you are being an asshole, but I believe everything you’re pointing out is at the heart of what running is and will continue to be once the cool kids migrate to the next sober-coded activity. The pure running culture exists in the brightly colored singlet and a trusted, stable, neutral training shoe. This is the bedrock of running.

RS: Exactly. When the dust settles on what’s happening in running now, the old people with their Boston Marathon Jackets (lame) will be the only people left. We must respect our forefatherspeople.

SK: At Rabbitwolf Creative, we stand at our desks on the shoulders of giants.

So beside being trapped in a lame city surrounded by the Last of the Mohicans, what else did you get up to?

RS: It’s always nice to see your friends, Steve. That’s what these trips mostly are. I shook hands with a bunch of our colleagues in the running media world, reconnected with some old coworkers, and ate a few meals alone in my hotel room. That’s the dream.

I’m realizing now this question was probably a set up for what I did in terms of work. Is that correct?

SK: That’s right, senator. Tell us about the work.

RS: I was there for our friends at Tempo Journal. They drummed up some work from Puma, covering some of their athletes that are a part of the Project 3 program. I guess you could call this sponsored content. I was there making sponsored content for Tempo Journal on behalf of Puma.

More specifically, I was following two athletes named Sissi Bergman and Cam Merrick. Sissi is from Sweden but lives in Sydney, and Cam is a Sydneysider, which is a term I just learned today. They were both very nice and very fast.

SK: And that means he’s from Sydney?

RS: Yeah man. Don’t be dumb.

SK: Ever since you got back from Boston you’ve been very mean and rude. Tell us about the police presence in Boston.

RS: I’m sorry. It was a valid question.

Understandably, the Boston Marathon has the most cops I’ve ever seen at a marathon. Not so understandably, most of them are incredibly stupid and very rude. None of them have answers to any questions you might have about where you’re allowed to stand and when they address you they don’t look you in the eyes. One officer will tell you you’re allowed to go somewhere, another will tell you, actually, you are not allowed to go there. And when you tell that officer that one of their little friends told you you could stand there, he’ll kind of throw up his arms and say “no one is allowed over here but if you say so,” and then walk away. That’s a very specific example of what the police presence is like.

SK: And I have it on good authority at one point a police officer picked you up in the most cartoonish way imaginable by lifting you by the shoulders and sort of just moving you three feet to one direction.

RS: That’s 90% true. At one point a school bus full of eager Boston Marathon runners was driving towards me at the lethal speed of about 5mph. This officer thought that I was trying to get hit by this bus, ran at me, and without saying a word put both of his hands on my shoulders and moved me three left to the left. It was aggressive. It was unnecessary.

And yes, Stephen, it was a little bit sexually charged.

SK: Could you survive a bus full of nerds coming at you at 5 miles per hour? It’s a yes or no question.

RS: The physics of that question is not on my side. How much does a school bus full of lycra-clad joggers weigh? 10 tons? 10 tons at 5mph? I’d probably explode on contact. Thank you, officer.

SK: So perhaps ACANTB?

RS: All Cops Are Not That Bad?

SK: That’s right. Your new tagline.

Okay, we gotta knock it off. We’ve got a shockingly busy few weeks coming up but sadly we won’t be working together on any of it. I don’t like that one bit, Ryan.

RS: It’s not good. It’s sad, really. Let’s breakdown where we will be the next few weeks.

APRIL 24TH - 26TH

STEPHEN: CANYONS 100K

RYAN: THE EUGENE MARATHON

APRIL 29TH-MAY 4TH

RYAN: PHILADELPHIA FOR SOME DOCUMENTARY PROJECT I DON’T THINK I’M ALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT. IT’S PROBABLY FINE BUT I’M NOT THE BOSS.

MAY 4TH-MAY 9TH

STEPHEN: COCODONA 250

MAY 13TH-MAY 17TH

RYAN: SOUTHBOUND 400

And I think that’s it.

SK: If anyone else will be at those events and wants to talk to us about sponsoring this newsletter, please reach out.

RS: Thanks for reading.