Why I Oppose the Save America Act

Townspeople who know me know I’m liberal. Sometimes that makes me a target for well-meaning ribbing. Like yesterdaymorning, when Sophie, my Goldendoodle, and I walked through our farmers market and a fruit vendor asked for my take on President Trump’s Save America Act.

“You oppose it, right?” he asked. “Too conservative? Voter suppression? Discriminates against married women who changed their names and against people without passports—usual liberal nonsense?”

“Wrong,” I said. “I oppose it because it’s too liberal. It allows too many people to vote.”

Sometimes I say things without thinking, and then I have to defend them. This was one of those times.

“Too many people? How so?”

“Look, the problem with democracy is the demos—the people. The more people who get to vote, the worse things get. This is why our founding fathers limited voting to rich, white, male landowners. Look who they voted for: Washington, Adams, Jefferson, Madison, Monroe. Look what happened when most people got to vote: Nixon, Bush, Trump.”

“What about Obama?”

“Did you like Obama?”

“Of course not!”

“OK, that proves my point.”

“The Save America Act would get tens of millions of Americans off the voter roles.”

“Sure, but that still leaves tens of millions of Americans eligible to vote, more than enough to ruin this country.”

“So you want to go back to rich, white men?”

“That’s what the Founders wanted, but my idea is much simpler.”

“OK. What is it?”

Now, let me be clear that I have no idea what I’m talking about. I’m just making this up as I go along. But I’m not going to admit that. I’m going to invent something brilliant on the spot.

“A voter-lottery,” I said.

“A what?”

“Look. There are 435 congressional districts in the United States. In my plan, each district has 12 voters who cast ballots for the House, Senate, and President. These voters are randomly selected from a pool of eligible voters. Eligible voters must be US citizens at least 18 years old, have completed the equivalent of a high school education, and have completed two years of military service (I took this idea from the 1997 movie Starship Troopers). These eligible voters are assigned numbers, and the numbers are printed on ping-pong balls that are stirred in a lottery tub and pulled out one at a time 12 months prior to Election Day. Those eligible voters whose number is pulled are now called Designated Voters. Designated Voters are obligated to complete a six-month course in American Civics created by the Smithsonian. Following this course, Designated Voters are to meet with and interview every candidate in their district, regardless of party. Candidates are not allowed to advertise, accept money from anyone, or give money to anyone. Voting occurs on Election Day and in person, with two alternate voters ready to step in if someone has died or cannot participate. A variation of this system would run in every state and local election throughout the country.”

I said all this as quickly as I could, and I might have said more, but I ran out of breath and ideas.

“You’ve really thought this through,” he said. “I’m impressed.”

“No, I haven’t,” I said. “I just came up with it. The fact that you and I both like the idea proves my point that people like us shouldn’t vote.”

“Then who should choose our leaders?”

“Billionaires from South Africa, and their AI children who will replace them.”

“I like that idea, too,” he said. “Maybe we shouldn’t vote at all.”

We laughed, wished each other a Happy Fourth of July, and waved as Sophie and I walked away.

“My work here is done,” I said to her.