There is No Dancing Allowed at Soho House

In 2019, I briefly became the Saturday Night DJ at Soho House West Hollywood despite knowing absolutely nothing about DJing.

I was looking for a side gig that paid well enough to support my full-time career of professionally losing money as an indie rock musician. A friend offered to introduce me to his friend, who booked the DJs at Soho House. After all, DJs make more money playing other people’s music than most musicians make playing their own.

My only instruction was simple:

Can you spin deep house?

Deep house?

Yeah, nothing that makes people get up and dance. Keep it smooth. Preferably minimal to no vocals.

Sure, of course.

I nodded confidently.

No dancing allowed.

I had absolutely no idea what the fuck deep house was, but judging from the music he was playing, I assumed it was whatever genre Buddha Bar fell under. Like beach hotel lobby music from the early 90’s? It was very dated-sounding and definitely nothing you’d dance to unless you’re in Bali tripping on X with polyamorous boomers who all met at Burning Man three decades ago.

I am not a member of Soho House. I've been to plenty of them over the years as someone else's guest, but I’ve never seen the point of paying an excessive amount merely to belong to a club, so you can go there to spend more money. Maybe I'd feel differently if I had a bunch of money, but I’m doubtful.

Soho House West Hollywood sits at the end of the Sunset Strip in a corporate tower where, on the weekends, matte G-Wagons and brightly colored sports cars line up for the underground valet. It’s mostly Orange County influencers on Raya dates with the occasional recognizable face —sometimes Leo but usually Mischa Barton…? Gavin Rossdale…?— wandering through.

I checked in downstairs and took the elevator up, nearly suffocating on Sauvage parfum along the way.

The DJ booth overlooked the city. Glass doors opened onto the wraparound patio with views stretching from downtown to the Hollywood Hills. It’s a place to be seen drinking $24 cocktails while having important conversations about important things. Not a place for listening to music.

There is no dancing at Soho House.