Dear Mr. Nolan,
Congratulations on the new film, The Odyssey.
It is an extremely relatable story. A guy hanging out with his buddies after work, while his wife is worried sick at home. And when he finally reaches home, he makes up stories on how he was late because of unfortunate incidents.
We’ve all been there.
I am looking forward to the movie.
However, I have 4 major concerns that I want to address in this letter.
As I mentioned in Concern No. 2…
What? Oh, you haven’t read Concern No. 2 yet?
Interesting.
You think I should have written the concerns in numerical order? You think the audience should be able to understand where they are and what is happening? You think information should be presented sequentially?
Well!
Now you know how it feels.
You see Mr. Nolan, when I come to watch your movies, I do not want homework.
If the letter seems confusing to you, tell me how the medicine tastes.
You have been facing a great deal of criticism regarding the latest film.
I am upset as well.
Not about the casting, of course. I do not care if you cast a giant squid in the role of Helen of Troy.
My concern is far more serious.
You have lost your touch, Mr. Nolan.
From what I have read, The Odyssey is being shot in present-day Greece and Italy.
Are you serious?
When you made Interstellar, you worked with astrophysicist Kip Thorne. Ground breaking science was invented as a result of the research for the movie.
When you wanted a shot of a corn field, you did not choose the easy way of finding an existing corn field. You planted an actual cornfield.
When you made Tenet, instead of using CGI, you crashed a real Boeing 747.
That is the level of artistic integrity I have come to expect from you Mr. Nolan.
So when it was announced that you would be making The Odyssey, set in a mythological time around 1200 BC, I assumed you would do the obvious thing.
Invent interdimensional time travel.
I was expecting you to tear a hole in the fabric of spacetime and shoot the movie in the actual time it was set.
But you chose to shoot in Modern Greece.
This is the sort of shortcut I expect from lesser filmmakers.
How the mighty have fallen.
I am so disappointed, Mr. Nolan.
I was with you, Mr. Nolan, when you said movies should be experienced in the theatres.
That’s a perfectly sensible position.
But then you started peddling the IMAX bullshit.
Even then, I thought, fair enough. The man wants taller images, let him have it. He’s a genius filmmaker. He knows what he is doing. We’ll watch Christopher Nolan movies Just as Nolan Intended.
Then you started saying, IMAX wasn’t enough. To truly experience your vision, I needed to watch the film in 70mm IMAX.
There are only thirty such theatres all over the world.
More rocks from Mars have landed on Earth than there are 70mm IMAX screens.
Can you imagine, a piece of another planet is easier to find than your intended cinema format.
Is the shaming of the audience a necessary part of the creative endeavour of making films?
If this wasn’t not enough, you started talking about your preferred seat in the said theatre.
All in the name of, Just as Nolan intended.
I trusted your recommendations, Mr Nolan, for Oppenheimer.
And what did I see? A visual spectacle of men talking to each other for 3 hours.
All that vertical screen space so I could see Cillian Murphy’s forehead in greater detail. Just as Nolan intended.
Tell me Mr. Nolan, this time for The Odyssey, are you planning to recommend dietary requirements and dress code too?
The best way to experience Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey is to watch it after having sabudana kichdi.
Just as Nolan intended.
Putting all the concerns aside, I will still be I will still be turning up to watch your movie.
But this time, I will be wearing this T-shirt in protest.
A concerned cinephile,
Pritesh Pathak
PS.
You may be wondering what happened to Concern No. 2. You see Mr. Nolan, I wrote this letter on my computer. It has a specific monitor. Since you don’t have it, it got cropped out for you. Just like we will watch a cropped out version of your movie.
If you want to read point 2, you will have to buy a LG 32MR50C Monitor, and read the letter on it
Just as I intended.
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