A truth

‘Peasants never change,’ said Canteloupe as he walked under the lintel. ‘You can educate them and dress them up and tell them they’re free and equal … and the very first owl that screeches they’re back on their knees, crossing themselves and snivelling. But you,’ he said to Restarick, ‘are not a peasant. You have not even that excuse for your obstinacy. What am I to say to you?’

‘You can ask my pardon,’ said Restarick, ‘for trespassing on American property. And I shall grant it, on condition that you leave.’…

‘I ask your pardon,’ said Canteloupe to Restarick, ‘for trespassing on American property, and whether you grant it or not we shall now leave.’…

Restarick made a slight movement of menace… ‘Don’t be a cunt,’ Canteloupe said…. ‘You cannot detain us by force, because whoever you may be you dare not lay hands on a peer of the British Parliament and a Minister of the British Crown.…’

‘Ridiculous foreigners,’ said Canteloupe as they all walked down the path. ‘All they need is to be told. The trouble is, no one’s told them for so long that most people have forgotten how.… It’s happening everywhere: students, coons, labourers, all getting out of hand because no one dares to tell them and put them in their place.… They’ve never wanted to listen, but they always have if they were handled right. You just have to bounce them into it, that’s what. Frighten them,’ said Canteloupe, ‘before they can frighten you.’

—Simon Raven