April often brings a sense of pressure. A new month, a new season, and that quiet voice in the back of your mind saying, you should be doing more by now. If you’ve been feeling stuck, behind, or frustrated with yourself lately, you are not alone. For many people with ADHD, this time of year can bring a strange mix of wanting a fresh start while also feeling overwhelmed by everything that still feels unfinished. This month, instead of focusing on doing more, I want to focus on understanding what your brain may actually need in order to move forward with a little more ease, self-awareness, and compassion.
By Jennifer Litvak, MS, AACC, ACC
You know the task matters.
You know it needs to get done.
You may have even been thinking about it all day.
And yet… you still can’t start.
If you’ve ever looked at something simple like sending an email, starting homework, folding laundry, making a phone call, opening the assignment, or paying the bill and felt like your whole brain just said “no,” you are not alone.
For many people with ADHD, starting is often harder than the task itself.
One of the biggest misunderstandings about ADHD is that when someone isn’t starting, they must not care enough.
But that’s usually not what’s happening. In fact, many people with ADHD struggle most with starting the things they do care about.
That’s because getting started is not just about wanting to do something. It often depends on executive functioning skills like:
task initiation
planning
prioritizing
managing overwhelm
tolerating discomfort
organizing where to begin
So if you’ve ever thought:
“Why can’t I just do it?”
“This should not be this hard.”
“I’ve been meaning to do this all week.”
…you’re not lazy.
You may just be running into an executive functioning roadblock.
The Overwhelm Spiral
Other times, the issue is not perfectionism at all. It is cognitive overload.
Middle schoolers experience it when school suddenly requires independent planning.
High schoolers feel it when academic demands collide with sports, clubs, and social pressures.
College students face it when structure disappears and self-management becomes the expectation.
The workload increases.
The structure decreases.
Executive functioning becomes the bottleneck.
Overwhelm sounds like this:
“I don’t even know where to start.”
“It’s too much.”
“If I can’t do all of it, I won’t do any of it.”
When the brain perceives too many inputs at once, it does not organize. It protects. It freezes.
From the outside, it looks like procrastination.
From the inside, it feels paralyzing.
When a task feels impossible to start, there is usually a reason.
Often, the task is:
You don’t know where to begin, so your brain avoids the whole thing.
“Work on it” is not actually a clear first step.
Your brain is under-engaged and can’t find enough activation.
The task brings up stress, embarrassment, fear, or pressure.
If you feel like you have to do it well, your brain may avoid doing it at all.
This is why “just start” is usually not very helpful advice.
If starting were that simple, you would have already done it.Why Smart Students Are Especially Vulnerable
Highly capable students often compensate for executive functioning gaps for years. Their intelligence carries them. Their memory helps them. Their natural ability allows them to succeed without strong systems.
Until it doesn’t.
Eventually, the workload outpaces their coping strategies. When that happens, the problem is not intelligence. It is infrastructure.
They do not need more lectures about responsibility.
They need scaffolding.
A lot of people with ADHD describe this feeling like there is an invisible wall between them and the task.
You can think about it.
You can worry about it.
You can even feel guilty about not doing it.
But actually starting feels weirdly hard.
That disconnect can be incredibly frustrating, especially when other people don’t understand it.
And unfortunately, shame tends to make it worse.
The more we think:
“What is wrong with me?”
…the harder it often becomes to re-engage.
I’m going to be transparent with you.
I hate writing.
It is something I tend to put off until the pressure is on and I have to do it.
It feels boring.
I freeze when I think about it.
And then the thoughts start:
What if this topic doesn’t apply to anyone?
What if this sounds juvenile?
What if people read this and laugh at me?
I know this is negative self-talk.
But knowing that doesn’t automatically make it go away.
So what does this mean?
It means I have to use the same tools I teach.
I have to:
make the first step smaller
allow it to be imperfect
start before I feel ready
and work with my brain instead of waiting for it to cooperate
Because if I wait until I feel motivated, this never gets written.
And honestly? I know a lot of my clients feel the exact same way about the things they are avoiding too.
Instead of telling yourself:
“Write the paper”
Try:
Open the doc
Write the title
Make one bullet point
The goal is not to finish.
The goal is to enter the task.
Perfectionism blocks more progress than most people realize.
Give yourself permission to make the first version messy.
That might look like:
a bad first paragraph
a rough list
a sloppy draft
a voice note instead of polished writing
A messy start is still a start.
Sometimes doing the task feels like too much.
But setting up for the task is manageable.
That might mean:
opening the laptop
pulling out the notebook
getting the bill and logging in
putting the clothes on the bed to fold
Setup counts.
In fact, setup is often what gets momentum going.
Instead of telling yourself you have to finish, try this:
“I only have to do 10 minutes.”
That short starting window lowers resistance and often helps your brain get moving.
Once you begin, continuing often becomes easier.
But even if it doesn’t, 10 minutes is still progress.
Ask yourself:
“What is making this hard right now?”
Are you:
confused?
bored?
overwhelmed?
anxious?
afraid of doing it wrong?
If this is something you struggle with, I hope this reminds you of one important thing: you do not need to wait until you “feel like it” to get started. So often, people with ADHD assume they are missing motivation, discipline, or willpower, when really they may just need a smaller step, a clearer plan, or a different way into the task. Starting is a skill, and like any other skill, it can be built with the right support, tools, and self-awareness. The goal is not to force yourself to do everything perfectly. The goal is to understand what gets in the way and learn how to work with your brain more effectively.
➡️ If you're new to Positive Approach or returning after January 2025, we invite you to schedule a FREE consultation using this link below.
Let’s grow together!
Ongoing Groups This Month
Age 23 -29 Social Networking Group - Tuesdays, 2x a month - in person
Bergen County, NJ & Rockland County, NY
Gaining Interest… If you are interested in one of these groups for a family member or have a friend that might be interested, please pass along our information. We want to help!
Second Act Studio: A group for retirees over age 65 - virtual only - looking for 3 more people to get started
College Student Transition Virtual Workshops from High School to College: specifically for college freshman with ADHD - looking for 3 more people to get started
Parents of College Students: How to support my child in college? Online Group Coaching - looking for 4 more people to get started
Jenn Litvak
Founder, Positive Approach Coaching
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