Things to quietly lament. pool...
There exists a filter in my brain that I've constructed over years to maintain a positive outlook on life's happenings. It's not a dishonesty mechanism, really I just manage to see the light through whatever issue presents itself. It really feels unfortunate that when I am tired this filter seems to shut down. If I don't get the right sleep, physically things are obviously harder to do, but I also…
It's not exactly the worst-case scenario, but it's getting there. Moving can be such a pain in the ass logistically, but often comes from necessity. This will be my first move in 3 years. I feel decided on this. I've really given it a good chance with the people I live with but it is a bad fit. I'm sure many people my age (25) have experienced distressing roommate issues. I naively believed that…
I saw an old friend of mine in my dream last night. I haven't had the chance to see him again in a very long time, probably about two years in person, but occasionally return a message back and forth on Instagram. He wrote two books of poetry and essays - in the dream. I read his poems in the shapeshifting bookstore I was in and was impressed by the use of concrete structure while still…
My friend was arrested for shoplifting $70 of goods earlier this week. In comparison, my frustrations feel trivial and unimportant. I've never been in trouble with the law like that. They are taking it quite well and joking about it with everyone. Probably the best way to handle something that. Yesterday, I woke up to my studiomate texting me that the building our unit is located in was on fire. I…
I was late to my own party last week. There were a bunch of factors that caused this silly mishap that could have all been mitigated with proper planning. Ultimately, I was running late and still had to gather things and actually get to the site. I whiplashed every time my phone rang. I already don't like talking on the phone very much; so when I am in rush-hour traffic then stepping into the…
I feel like I can breathe again for a moment. April is nearly over and it feels like I skipped through all of it. I am familiar with how stress affects my memory. I thought I had attended my friend's art show the other day, turns out it was at the start of the month. I can't help but feel this is a bit of a blessing and a curse. I definitely felt stressed during my finals this year, but now it's…
I suffer an insecure complex about my own writing. I don't think that it is entirely uncommon, it seems like any writer experiences an insecurity about their work. For every artist, uncertainty pervades. I'm worried about the regular questions associated with whether my writing is good or not. I have a slowly growing portfolio demonstrating that, if not objectively good, at least a couple people…
An evil wizard has struck lighting bolts through the lives of many friends. Just last night, a close friend of mine told me their roommates, who were previously close friends before a horrible incident, have found an apartment and are moving. No discussions, no explanation, no anything. I think they have a reasonable right to be upset and angry about the whole situation. I can see myself in their…
I'm desiring a purely anonymous space to publish some feelings. My journal can only really give me so much resolve. It doesn't matter that I get feedback, or anybody really reads this, but I need to at least try having a space that I can shout about things happening to me. It feels like a lower barrier that no one I know in my personal life will read this. Maybe a stranger will and can sympathize…