A quick note from me: Please help me decide what comes next for this newsletter — take this short survey (5-10 minutes) and share a little about yourself. I’ll randomly select six respondents to receive a $100 Visa gift card as a thank you.
Hi, folks!
Coming off of the high of turning in the first draft of my second book, QUANTUM SHIFTS, I immediately dipped into a low: I’ve been diagnosed with shingles. For those who aren’t familiar, anyone who had the chicken pox can get shingles — except shingles is much more painful. (There is a vaccine recommended for those 50+; look into it.) Shingles can often be brought on by high stress, which, at least I know exactly how my body reacted to months spent head down writing a book right after having twins. But, luckily, I caught it early, and I’m recovering now.
While I’m taking it a bit easy, I thought I’d share some answers to some of your AMAs on how to get through challenging times — because world news, tough employment conditions, and everything else we’re dealing with is still going on, even when we’re sick or sick of it.
xo,
Pooja
Q: Am I a bad citizen if I take a vacation from the news? It stresses me out so much. 😢 How do you balance preserving mental health vs. reading the news when the world’s on 🔥?
So many of you have asked me this question. It’s a work in progress for all of us.
We are not meant to be sponges absorbing every trauma that comes through day after day (and they do, and they will). It is important to take care of yourself, prioritize, and continue to find joy, meaning, and hope through it all. That in itself is a form of resistance.
You can’t be in the news cycle 24/7; it’s not good for your mental health. You have to figure out the right system and cadence for you to dip into news and stay informed about topics you care about.
Some things I’m trying and working on:
I have stopped reading the news and listening to NPR as ambient noise (I still love public radio, though). However, that doesn’t mean I’m uninformed. I subscribe to a curated handful of newsletters where I find out the latest terrible thing. But I only look when I’m in the mood and have the bandwidth. That’s about once per day.
My writing and speaking and advocacy work is how I exert my agency. It’s a balm for me. Find your balm; it could be your kids’ school board or at your church. It’s different for everyone.
All of us need to “check out” from time to time. That’s OKAY. There is a big difference between saying, “I don’t follow politics” and saying, “For my own sanity, I cannot keep up with every latest terrible thing, I need to protect my attention.”
Q: What are your tips for keeping positive when work is having another “restructuring” (but you are thankfully safe)?
I don’t love ‘staying positive’ when the reality is that this is tough time for so many. We are seeing layoffs all over, and it’s taking a long time to land the next job. I think it’s actually more about being prepared. Start activating your network. Now is the time to get coffees, make sure your LinkedIn is updated, start thinking of where you’d go if you need. Being prepared is your best mental balm. It’s never for nothing because your existing network will become stronger for this outreach. And if during the next restructuring you are hit, you’ll have a head start.
Q: How do you find the joy in the daily grind of parenting, work, chores, etc.?
I struggle with this, too. When it feels like everything is a chore, that means I need to go back to my boundaries. So, I will block off time to look at my schedule and assess what I can cut out in work, parenting, personal time, etc. My post on Boundaries 101 lists everything I tell my patients about how to set (and keep) boundaries.
I come back to my boundaries once every three months or so, and sometimes even more frequently. It’s the type of thing you just have to keep coming back to as life keeps changing; that’s normal. There is this fallacy that you learn boundaries once and then you’re good. NO! Our lives are so complex and constantly moving, and in every new context or situation, you will have to relearn your boundaries. That doesn’t mean you are doing it wrong. It means you are human, and you have a full life.
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Thank you for being here! As a reminder, I’d really appreciate your feedback as I decide on the future of this newsletter. Please take my short survey and tell me more about yourself. As a thank you, I’ll randomly select six individuals to receive a $100 Visa gift card.
📚 Order my book, Real Self-Care, as an e-book, hardcover, or audiobook.
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