A wave rises out of the ocean of infinite horizon under the sky of infinite horizon. In that moment it forgets it’s part of infinity. The amnesia creates a separation. Time and space change form. The wave thinks it’s a lake with a boundary. A body of water limited by edges. It meets other lakes and they share experiences and create meaning from them. Drops of rain from the sky of infinite horizon feed the lake. Ripples create waves as they flow outwards to the shore, their natural flow distorted by boulders, stones, and pebbles held in the lake as a collection of memories and emotions and experiences. The currents of the wave, that thinks it’s a lake, divert from their true path… energy depleted from bumping into the boulders, stones, and pebbles.
You wake up tired after 8 hours hard sleep. You already know some son-of-a-mother is going to trigger you today. You wish you could disappear to a desert island and not have to deal with people at all.
You also know that there’s more to life, don’t you?
You sometimes think about your different “selves” and how different they are…
The one who lives with a low hum of anxiety and rehearses what to say, and is prepared for every possible outcome, because you’ve played it out in your mind, lost sleep over it, and convinced yourself that if you experience the worst case scenario in your imagination you eliminate it from being a possibility in your actual reality.
The one who can put your “energised leader bunny pants” on, and step into any room (after taking a deep breath before opening the door) and perform as someone who has their sh*t together: capable, confident, and composed… (secretly terrified of being exposed). Wondering why the elastic of your pants feels tight around your waist.
The one who dreams of silence, peace and quiet, and reading all day in a hammock under a palm tree to the soundtrack of the ocean and the sea breeze cooling your skin. But you feel guilty when you dream that dream... And you don’t like the guilt, so you avoid dreaming the dream telling yourself you’ve got it good, be grateful for what you have, don’t ask for more, there’s people a lot worse off than you.
But however much you want to not dream that dream, you still do because you know that there’s more to life than just getting through the day to be able to just get through another day…
And you finally admit that you’re not enjoying the “journey”, because there’s too much traffic, and you’re not even sure what the destination is because your GPS is fried.
And one day something lines up, in the right moment, at the right time...
You find me on Substack!
(*wink)
Something I’ve written triggers an emotion, which sparks a thought, which leads to an action. So you send me a quick message…
I pop the kettle on and we spend our first of several 60 minutes together.
(You pop your own kettle on because we’re very modern and we meet online)
The first thing I do is ask you what you’re celebrating. I also explain why I’m asking you. You agree to look for glimmers, for moments in the moment that remind you you’re here now…
After some thought, you tell me you’re celebrating finally doing something about the lack of fulfilment and joy in your life, and the abundance of stress you feel instead.
I celebrate you for showing up for yourself.
Because most people feel the same way and do nothing about it, or tell themselves they’re not ready, or they’ll do it “when…”, and they never do…
They tell themselves they don’t have time in their overwhelmingly busy lives to stop for a moment and do something about their overwhelmingly busy lives. And they tell themselves it’s “just stress and it’s normal in this day and age.” Then 5 years pass and nothing changes, except they’re older now and becoming less tolerant of being stressed and tired. Then 10 years pass and nothing changes, expect they’re even older now, and even less tolerant of being stressed and tired, but too tired to even try to do anything about it. They’re more scratchy, more dissatisfied, more of all the mores they don’t want more of.
But that’s not you.
You’re here, scared of going “there”, but you’re still here. You made the decision that you want to ask for more of what you do want.
So we go “there”, together, at your pace, side by side.
(I invite you to “giddy up” from time to time when you get avoidant or caught in story that’s not doing anything for you other than keeping you in the “old way of being”)
We figure out your values, and not the ones picked off a “menu”. You feel lighter for the clarity and clearer on your boundaries.
We figure out what life has to look like to get you to that hammock under a palm tree reading to the soundtrack of the ocean and the sea breeze cooling your skin. Your shoulders drop, your jaw unclenches and the relief shows itself as your whole face relaxes and your smile fills the space left by the absence of tension.
We take a brutally honest look at where you are now, and the gap between now and not-yet-now. You don’t want to say it out loud, yet you feel your body soften when you do because you’re doing something about it.
We figure out what stories are in the way, what lies you’ve been believing about yourself, what you’re afraid of losing when you get the hammock.
And what you’re afraid of gaining too…
(The hammock-asutra could be a reality!)
We set up a direct line to your subconscious.
I explain it’s not just your mind, it’s your body too. You understand now that the subconscious is your meaning-making belief library of stored memories and experiences that create the identity of who you think you are.
The subconscious doesn't record facts… it records emotions and the stories we told ourselves to survive them. It creates a blueprint based on those stories, so you replay them, and feel safe in their familiar patterns.
I explain that the prime objective of your subconscious is to keep you alive. And that you have Protector Parts that were formed when you were a child. And they are simple black-and-white thinkers. This equals that. Childhood memory equals present identity. A total nuance-free zone.
This is meaning-making from limited data.
(It’s what we humans do, and then we get in a pickle!)
You realise there is hope for you after all, that if you learned one way of being you can learn another. More relief enters your body. You could get used to this.
We talk to your subconscious (mind and body) Protector Parts.
(Some like to call this “shadow work” but I call them the Inner Kids!)
I share with you that I had a school bus full of them, and they were a rowdy bunch! They often tried to grab the steering wheel or made so much noise I had to park up just to catch my breath.
We talk to your Inner Kids, we acknowledge the work they’ve been doing to protect you and we celebrate the role they’ve played in getting you to where you are today. Then we give them a promotion (because they actually want the hammock too), and we get them off the bus.
Your heart is full of gratitude for those little ones that went through sh*t, you feel for them, you see them, hold them, and show them they are not alone.
We go deeper and clean up your timeline…
You’re surprised you don’t have to talk about the “trauma” or re-experience it in order to clean it up in your mind and body.
You’re surprised when you notice you’re sleeping better, you have more energy, and you know when to stop and pause, and how to work with your emotions, rather than just manage them. You’re even enjoying your work more, you’re more purposeful, there’s more joy in the little things. Less of the annoying things!
You’re surprised when you notice you’re no longer triggered by the same sons-of-mothers that used to trigger you. And you know the work we’ve been doing is working!
You’re also surprised that you no longer feel guilty wishing for the hammock, because you know the guilt was doing a job. That it was keeping you small enough to feel safe. That it was a dream-blocker with a purpose. And even more surprised to notice you don’t want to be alone on that desert island, avoiding people, anymore…
(The hammock-asutra becomes a reality!)
Most of all you wish you’d gone “there” sooner, but you know that now, no matter when is better than never. So you make peace with that.
When I ask you what you would like to tell someone who is where you were, you tell me that you’d tell them to find a pause button, that no matter how overwhelmed they are in their overwhelmingly busy lives. You’d say: “If only you could just stop for a moment, you’d be able to do something about it.”
The pause is a where you can ground yourself.
And over time you can expand the pause, and it becomes not only grounding but also a creative space, and as you expand it more it becomes energy that you’d forgotten you had, and that energy becomes motivation you’d mistakenly, by no fault of your own, assumed needed caffeine and cortisol!
Because everything starts when you stop.
The wave, that thinks it’s a lake, realises that if it communicates with the boulders, stones, and pebbles, that it holds in its waters, it can change the meaning of its collection of memories, emotions and experiences. And as the meaning changes, the boulders, stones, and pebbles dissolve, and they become part of the lake, integrated, rather than blocking the flow of the currents created by ripples created by drops of rain from the sky of infinite horizon. And the wave begins to wonder how separate it is, and how separate it has to be... It starts wondering if the shore it saw was real, or just the shape of its own belief.
🪩 People who recognise themselves in this tend to be exactly who I work with. The next step is finding out which subconscious pattern is draining your energy. 📞 Book a free 15-minute Pattern Audit Call
| Subconscious Rewiring Coach | Hypnosis, EFT & NLP Practitioner | Creator of Neuro-Emotional Wisdom™ |
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