Creating from the heart.

It’s been a while since I showed up here because…

for the past nine months my head has been full of stories, writing them, rewriting them, ditching some and making dummy books. It’s been an intense time, spent mostly in my head, as it were. So, not very balanced with drawing, which I need.

I can’t say it’s all been enjoyable, there were break throughs and bursts of creativity on three out of the five book projects and miserable phases like walking through treacle too. I learn’t a big lesson, so easy to miss on the intense treadmill of making books.

I’ve learnt that my most fulfilling book making processes are those coming from a soulful and authentic place, without expectation and free from constraints. The ingredients fall together joyfully, where dummy books emerge from ‘somewhere’ I know not where. My agent James and I are also on the same page and things flow beautifully. On the other hand, books that have to conform to market trends, jump through hoops or are developed and guided via external channels have proved tricky and elusive. One such book I eventually culled, telling the publisher I felt no joy working on it, even at the fun dummy making stages.

The book started with these two carefree characters below, until they ran out of road! After many roundabouts, pit stops and punctures, I didn’t want to inflate their bloody wheels yet again! They left me tired and jaded. But who knows one day the right story might pop out and I’ll reach for a foot pump! I liked them but not their story.

So I pulled the plug, luckily the publisher understood and I felt a wonderful release. I started singing and humming around the cottage again. I’m so glad I listened to my gut feeling, to my heart. Ultimately somewhere along the way, I’d lost any connection to their story and that is a red flag isn’t it? It had become a contrived storyline, one far from my initial idea. It’s not easy to walk away from a project with a publisher but when I have done so, or mentally blocked a book that years ago I’d been commissioned to illustrate but didn’t resonate with me, (yes I’ve done it, yes it works!) I’ve always felt relief not angst.

To keep myself sane, (because I do need to paint and draw, not just write) I made images of bored children. They are probably me, it’s how I felt back then… a bit lacklustre dragging myself into my studio. Yawn… a frustrating day ahead.

So you see, nothing is ever wasted. These images proved popular, they were made without thinking too much about the end result and more about the feeling. Because they were created for fun, for me, from the heart, often my best work is.

Just The Two Of Us my new book with Andersen Press and out in October, came from a soulful place too, without worrying about a publisher. It’s the first book I’ve created that is truly authentic. Stella, on the cover is probably the younger Polly! It’s a book about an imaginary friend and what happens when they are no longer needed. I vividly remember having imaginary friends and my daughter does too.

My agent James Catchpole was a wonderful and sensitive editor, making some brilliant suggestions. No story changes were made once it was acquired, no hoops jumped through! Arlo and Stella came to life one day on my desk…. just like that! I had been sketching my dog Bertie in the evenings, whilst working with Ness Wood at Orange Beak Studio on a new visual language, I felt free and relaxed. I was painting images that intrigued me, pushed me and I was immersed. Suddenly the sketches fed into creating Arlo, the dog.

Just The Two Of Us is my benchmark how projects should feel, creative and exciting.

From my nine months of toil I do have three stories at various stages, they too feel like an extension of me, all coming from the heart. They have to now, I can’t knock out a book that doesn’t resonate, to order or for the sake of it. I’ve learnt my lesson.

Below is a peep of a rough from one, a Christmas story told from a different perspective! I’ve no idea if it’s submission will be successful. All I know is I’ve loved working on it so far. It evolved, grew and just flowed.

I’m enjoying a break at the mo, pottering, perfecting my focaccia bread, walking and seeing friends and family. I love September, enjoy yours.

Polly X