Today's Prayer

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I cling to enthusiasm (1)
but let go of brutality toward
my imperfections.
I hold onto inspiration (2)
but let go of only seeing
what is lacking.
I pray to be released from
this worship of
always more and better -
that I should be
more and better -
instead of celebrating what I am.
“If only I could achieve”
this milestone
in my health
in my wealth
in my art.
Then I would be satisfied.
It is a devil’s bargain.
Those targets pass to be replaced by
new goals.
I walk an inner tightrope
and pray
to keep my motivations
but release my
relentless
condemnations.
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1 the Greek word enthousiasmos, derived from entheos, meaning "divinely inspired" or "possessed by a god"
2 from the Latin inspirare, meaning "to breathe into" or "breathe upon". It combines in- ("in") and spirare ("to breathe"). It originally carried a, spiritual or divine connotation, implying a holy or supernatural force breathed an idea or divine grace into a person, appearing in English in the mid-14th century.