Hey, hi, how are ya? Hope a cool breeze blows your way. You earned it, pal. Me? Changing t-shirts twice a day and darkening the theater door every chance I get, thanks for asking.
I’m on a lil’ summer break. And by “break” I mean “mission”. How many screenings can one fella get himself to in a summer? I got a Regal Unlimited pass and I intend to beat Mister Regal at his own game. At twenty bucks a month, I only have to see two movies per thirty days to be ahead. But what if I could see two a week? Shoot, we must be tangoing though a Fatboy Slim video because now we’re Christopher Talkin’.
Sometimes it’s not theater time though. Maybe a stack of dishes needs tending to. Or you’re home and the kids are finally asleep but for once you’re not sleepy yet. Or you work from home and get stuck on a graphic design problem and the only way to solve it is to ignore it and have lunch at the TV.
What do you turn to?
July 4th got me thinking. Hmm? About patriotism? Not exactly. I figure we’re carrying twelve pounds of patriotism in a 6 pound sack already.
No, it got me thinking about our founding father, Washington. He couldn’t tell a lie in St. Elsewhere. Crossed the Delaware in Malcolm X. Became the first president of these United States with Remember the Titans. Washington did it all. Denzel Washington, that is. With a core of wrought iron and the presence of King Kong, he’s the true-bluest movie star of the last forty years. Guy’s been a coach, Union soldier, jazz trumpeter, Shakespeare player, boxer, gangster and so, so many cops.
You know, there’s one thing Denzel couldn’t do. Take a role without gumption. James Cameron offered him the role of Miles Dyson, inventor of Skynet, in Terminator 2. Washington passed. Why? “All this guy does is look scared and sweat,” said Denzel. Pretty good summary. He figured, as a Black actor building a career, he couldn’t afford to play weak. Had to deliver strength every time, leave no room to doubt he could do any job. White actors could go soft. Not Black actors.
Denzel’s hardest role to date came in ’01, the year after Titans. That’s right, it was his Training Day. He played Alonzo Harris, a NARC on his last day showing Ethan Hawke’s green good guy the ropes. Helpful at first, Washington’s Harris unfurls like a Fruit by the Foot of sins and grins. Training Day put its director, Antoine Fuqua, on the map too. Fuqua’s amazing at telling Black stories, including in his recent run of documentaries.
That brings us to 2014. And a little movie you may never have seen called The Equalizer. And the most metal part Washington ever played, with his Training Day director calling “Action!”
For real? The Equalizer? Never heard of it.
No surprise. It disappeared because—
Hey wait, I maybe saw it in the $5 DVD bin at Walmart!
Listen, pal, it doesn’t deserve that. But you’re right, that’s almost definitely where you saw it.
But if it’s bad, why are we talking about it?
$5 doesn’t mean it’s bad, which it’s not. Just means you got a smokin’ deal. Anyway, The Equalizer disappeared because we didn’t appreciate what we had.
And what we had was this: A mean picture with a sweet heart and bloody knuckles. It put an already-a-star in a taking-out-the-trash role they hadn’t played before. Though it missed a big audience, a flick with the same formula came out one month later—John Wick. The formula works. Denzel himself would repeat it two more times with The Equalizer 2 and 3.
Let’s get down to brass tacks. Here’s why you should put this trilogy next in your queue.
Watch the trailer • Rent it • Stream on Netflix
Robert McCall, a widower with too much time on his too capable hands, makes a hobby out of running the Russian mob out of town to help a fellow diner customer.
What’s great about it:
We know everything in Home Depot can kill you, but this goes ahead and proves it.
David Harbour playing a Boston dirtbag two years before Stranger Things.
Denzel with his own tea bag being the tip pool’s worst nightmare.
He takes Chloë Grace Moretz under his wing.
BIG DIGITAL WATCH STUFF
The human body is gooey.
The agency past McCall escaped pulls him back in when pal Susan fall into trouble and old comrade Dave comes out of the woodwork.
What’s great about it:
Pedro Pascal before he figured out his persona! Now, he’s a handsome daddy. Back then, he was a cutie pie who cannot be taken seriously.
This movie about agency intrigue doesn’t work but it’s fun to watch a talented bunch try their dangdest.
It’s less like a movie, more like a season of a USA Network show. It’s giving White Collar.
The B plot with the neighborhood kid is super sweet.
He takes Ashton Sanders (the kid) under his wing.
Denzel has hair for some reason in this one?
The human body is delicate.
Watch the trailer • Rent it • Stream on Netflix
Stuck in picturesque Italy after a job that ended messily, McCall sets his mind to finding happiness and clearing out a pesky mafia infestation.
What’s great about it:
Denzel becomes an Italian murder grandpa.
The location, Altamonte—a remote village set in the side of a mountain, is like something made by the Italian tourism board. Mama mia!
It’s a slick retread of the first film but with a clever location change so you don’t even care.
Denzel suffers fools less than ever, bumping off baddies with extra gruesome gusto.
Hot dog, “The Threequalizer” is really fun to say.
He takes an entire Italian village under his wing.
The human body is crunchy.
Thank you for reading Pizza & a Movie. This post is public so feel free to share it.
Next weekend—or next dishwashing—put on The Equalizer. Watch Denzel do the thing movie stars used to do. Have a thing, and be so good at it you can dunk on anybody. It’s fun to watch a pro at work.
Mr. Washington never disappoints.
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