Reading · Words, I live by

I have such a headache, and I want to cry.

That sentence popped into my head, and I decided to share it with you. Because it’s true.

I bet you’ve been here. There’s so much to absorb. So much going on. The weight of the world feels particularly heavy these days. Mostly it’s because there is so much happening. All the time.

But there’s always been a lot happening all the time, right?

These days, we have access to news and opinions - all the freaking time. Some of the information flowing our way is facts. A lot of it is pure nonsense. All of it affects our bodies and minds.

It takes a concerted effort to avoid the noise.

I log on hoping to catch up with a friend or a favorite writer, and somehow by dark magic, I’m scrolling and scrolling, and a quick pop-on has turned into thirty-five minutes of headache-inducing nonsense. It’s like eating a bag of chips, but nowhere near as satisfying. (Sounds funny writing this now because I don’t really eat chips anymore! But, damn they can be delicious!) I’m angry and sad - at the state of the world and at myself for falling into the hole.

I’ve done it again this morning.

To quote a line from a series I streamed this weekend - “It just keeps getting darker.”

I know there’s good out there. I know there’s beauty. And love and goodwill.

Yet, it does feel like the world is darker. More cruel. And much angrier.

It takes more energy (for me anyway) to be joyful. It feels like resistance to be happy.

Writing silly stuff like this Substack and my other one about walking my dog and my fan fiction on another site, all seems like fluffy rebellion. Take that algorithm filling my feeds with horror! Here’s a flower. Here’s a poem about a tree or a post about my dog. Or a photo of flowers on my countertop. Not curated or staged. Maybe even slightly out of focus. But suck these bits of my life into the machine to confuse it or possibly make it lighter and kinder, because I’m not sure we can totally avoid it.

I’ve started posting random photos on my socials simply as a middle finger to the gods of the feeds. Screw you and your genocide and your cruelty and your bigotry and your fear! I’m not denying their existence. I’m acknowledging that there isn’t always a damn thing I can do to stop the depravity. I can protest and write letters and make phone calls, but some days it feels like screaming into a void. The darkness marches on, and it is loud some days.

So…I’m showing up and bringing mundane, boring and simple gifts from me to you. Something to brighten your day. Maybe I’ll inspire you to share things that make you happy just for the heck of it. Like this photo of my dog.

Big dog with a braided rope toy on his head. He's practicing a trick and working on his patience. He's such a good boy. — My dog practicing a trick. Isn’t he a giant goofball?

I shall run off now and work on my latest fan fiction story. For the pure fun of it. Or maybe I’ll go for a walk. You’ll never know…and that’s awesome. Have your own adventures. Do one thing today that brings you joy. Especially if that means doing absolutely nothing at all. And keep it all to yourself!

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