A parasocial interlude

The world is full of people, you know? You think you’ve heard of all of them (do you?) but then you’re like, whoa, this person exists? So I am now in the parasocial thralls of a woman I’ve only just learned of: Randi Bergman, aka Ms. Capsule 98. Canadian Jew in New York into fashion and Toronto vintage and 1990s throwbacks, I mean. And guy-liking, she has good stuff on that topic as well! My life’s work is now reading her archives in all arenas, which is very not weird at all.

I think Bergman’s a few years younger than I am (though I was born in 1983 and am 43, not 44; give me this, internet!), which might explain why 1998 and not the 1995ish era I find so captivating. But aesthetically, 1998 is probably the way to go, because you start getting into the y2k looks but still have the 1990s ones.

Bergman’s interview with Fran Drescher (!!!!!!) not only affirmed my theories about the show, but comes with details I can’t believe I’d previously gone without, from Drescher, such as: “She supposedly bought everything on sale at Loehmann’s, but everything was couture.” And! “If you can believe, the network gave us notes when we were doing the pilot and they said, ‘She’s a nanny, she would never come down in a bathrobe.’ And we said, ‘That’s the whole point! She’s inappropriate!’”

But also!

You were also unabashedly Jewish. I don’t remember anything else like it at the time.
When CBS green-lit us to write a pilot script, they pre-sold the show to P&G based off the concept that the nanny was Italian. Peter and I knew that this was a break, but we also knew how awful it would feel if we compromised our vision and the show didn’t fly. So, I mustered up my chutzpah and I said, “The nanny must be Jewish.” We couldn’t write it with the richness and specificity and my style of performing any other way. I’m not Italian, I’m Jewish. So, they let us do that. Subsequently, I became the first Jewish character in a lead role in prime time played by a Jewish actor since Molly Goldberg in the 1940s.

I can’t believe that.
There was a fear, and I think this was post-WWII mentality, that the best kind of Jew was an assimilated one. You knew that Seinfeld was Jewish, but he didn’t talk about being Jewish. The Jews at that time were the nutty neighbour, the yenta next door, the meddlesome mother in law. They weren’t the stars. And if I didn’t have the tenacity to see myself as a star and the ambition to make it happen, I’d still be playing the nutty neighbour. That was part of the reason I became a producer. I couldn’t deal with working for people less talented than me. I couldn’t be third banana.

Fran Drescher, fashion icon AND the lady who ended euphemistic ‘Italianness.’ Weirdly I remember believing growing up that she was half-Jewish, half-Italian, which, no. Where did I hear this? Much like my being 44, just because someone says it doesn’t make it so.

But my favo(u)rite Bergman-ism from my archival browsing is this reclamation of polyester:

Did you know that “Polyester” is an insult now? Which is funny, because Gen Z’s, who apparently hate plastic fibres, are now putting instantly disposable shimmer stickers all over their faces. Anyway, I happen to love when I find a polyester piece of trash while thrifting, and I also love this stupid new sticker face trend. It’ll be gone in a flash, just like August.

My stance: There’s nothing wrong with shopping for polyester that has already survived 20 summers.

She made me question my recent as in a few days ago decision to go with a mostly-cotton (with some stretch) Kotn skirt (the flared one with Modern Orthodox vibes) that cost (redacted) over a Martini Fashions 100% polyester vintage mesh one that was far more affordable and also fine not as flattering but also more one-of-a-kind (if doubtless mass-produced at the time, to some degree). I was once again in the vicinity of said vintage shop and considered pulling a why-not-both (I was wearing the Kotn one, which is spectacular, a kind of skirt version of the Aritzia-via-Poshmark carpenter jeans that are my winter wardrobe, navy with white stitching like that) but am trying to stay strong on the not adding further so-bad-they’re-good y2k items into a wardrobe that uh does not lack for these. But I do feel affirmed in some recent-ish Mystiq Parc choices. And I make no promises if I’m back in that area and they still have it, you know? You know.