Creating your own opportunities: how to get un-stuck in life

I’ve had a lot of conversations with friends recently, and the common thread is that many of us are feeling a little stuck at the moment. For me, the catalyst was turning 30 on Saturday (yes, the rumours are true—I’m a Pisces), and for others it’s been everything from being made redundant, to breakups, to deciding to (or not to) have kids. There’s a lot going on in the world, from Mexico to Iran to the UAE, and so it’s no wonder that everything’s feeling a little heavy right now. I’ve worked for myself full time for the past 7 years, and one thing that’s always helped me massively in times where I’ve felt particularly stuck is creating my own opportunities—both in terms of work, and in life more generally. This week, let’s look at how to get un-stuck when life feels heavy.

You’ll likely have experienced the feeling from time to time: things aren’t going great in your (work) life, you’ve got decisions to make and actions to take, but everything just feels exhausting, so you ignore your to-do list and bury yourself in distraction. For me, that means rewatching episodes of Keeping up with the Kardashians from 2011 and lamenting how dated the fashion looks—we are getting old. But when I’m ready to shut up and do something about it, one thing I’ve found to be true time and time again is that momentum creates luck.

The more you’re doing cool things, putting yourself in new literal and metaphorical rooms, and meeting interesting people, the sooner great opportunities will come your way.

Ideally, we’d be nurturing a solid pipeline of golden opportunities at all times, but life doesn’t always work out that way, and from time to time it really can feel like you’re at rock bottom. This is also why I’m a proponent of the occasional free work—I know many of the people I’m surrounded by are totally against it on principle, but in the past, the right project that I’ve worked on for free for a few hours here and there has really catapulted me into my next great adventure. That’s not to say you should go running into the first unpaid internship or job that comes your way, but a few well-chosen projects here and there can really open doors for you in times of stuckness (I checked the Oxford Dictionary and it’s indeed a word). So, here’s to creating your own opportunities, and living by one of my favourite maxims: if the door doesn’t open, build the room. Incidentally, I asked AI who to attribute that quote to, and it replied with a helpful list of “How to Fix a Stuck Door (Practical Steps)”, so I don’t think robots are coming for our jobs just yet.

When you’re feeling a little stagnant, making something is a great way to get the positive energy flowing again. The health benefits of getting creative are well documented: according to mental health app Calm, creativity can help with everything from managing stress to building resilience. I started this very Substack on a whim one Sunday in September 2025, when a work project had ended a few months earlier than expected. I was excited to have some more time on my hands, and figured I’d put it to good use by starting the Substack I’d had on my mind for the previous six months. I logged into the platform, decided on the name on the spot, and got to writing. I immediately loved it, and while I started Social Currency because of my love of writing, it’s been a great lead generator for clients who want to build their business ecosystem and networks as well.

If you’ve had a creative project on your mind for a while, this might be the time to give it a go. Whether it’s a podcast, a YouTube channel, an artistic endeavour or a novel, getting in touch with your creative side might just give you that lease of life you’ve been looking for.

I’m a big fan of hosting—I’ve written about it a lot on this Substack, especially in terms of how it’s helped me build my network in new cities and industries. You don’t need a big apartment, or to rent out a space. I find that the best gatherings are the ones that are the easiest for the host to manage, because the energy of the host always rubs off on the attendees.

Follow your passions: gather a group for book club or movie night at your home, order in some tacos, or have everyone bring a dish they love. I love hosting a DIY brunch. I’ll make a group chat on WhatsApp with the attendees, and then create a poll with what we might need, like bananas, orange juice, croissants etc. People can then vote for which item they’ll bring. It’s easy for everyone: people usually want to bring something small along, and so you might as well co-ordinate so you don’t end up with 50 pastries and 10 guests, and as the host, you just need to sort the basics. I’ve also hosted bring-a-friend drinks parties, which work great and allow everyone to get to know a range of new people—a great way of mixing up the energy. Even if it’s five friends sitting on your living room floor eating pizza, bringing people together gets you out of your head, and you’ll usually find people are in a similar situation to you (funnily enough, social media really is just a highlight reel).

It doesn’t matter if you’re actively looking for new opportunities, or are just feeling stuck in the mundanity of daily life: meeting new people (through hosting your own events or otherwise) will always pep you up. I’m a big fan of Stanford sociologist Mark Granovetter’s weak tie theory, as outlined in his seminal paper The Strength of Weak Ties. Granovetter’s theory is that “a person’s weak ties – their casual connections and loose acquaintances – were more helpful than their strong ones in securing employment.” Since the paper’s publication in 1973, a range of additional studies have been conducted, expanding on the theory beyond people looking for employment. In short: your secondary and tertiary connections are often more likely to be able to help you than your closest primary connections—no matter what sort of help you’re looking for.

This means that if you feel like you’re stuck in quicksand and are looking to switch things up in your life, it’s time to focus on nurturing those weak ties in your life. Set up coffees, reconnect with people you used to study or work with on social media, and email former clients asking them what they’re up to. That’s what Social Currency is all about: changing your life through the people you meet (and hopefully being able to return the favour along the way). Give The 100 Connections Challenge a go, but if that feels overwhelming, start with sending out just 5 to 10 messages. The momentum kicks in quickly, and you’ll soon be motivated to have all 100 conversations, by which point I can almost guarantee you’ll have opportunities aplenty coming your way, you’ll have a lot of new friends and connections, and your life will have been totally overhauled for the better.

This is one of my favourite approaches, because it ticks many boxes: you’re getting creative, you’re hosting a gathering (or some kind of collaborative thing), and you’re expanding your network. Find someone who has similar interests to you, and host a coffee morning together. If you already have a podcast or blog, ask someone to co-write or co-host something with you. If you have a brand that sells candles, consider doing a pop-up with someone who has a skincare brand. If you’re a yoga teacher, why not host a workshop with a Traditional Chinese Medicine specialist? I’ve hosted collaborative dinners in NYC, Sydney and Europe, and it’s always so refreshing: it lightens the load, and it’s fun to be exposed to new people and new ways of working. While the dinners started very much by accident, they’ve become a major part of my business, and clients often hire us to plan and host dinner parties on their behalf.

It doesn’t have to be business-focused, either: if you’re in a book club, see if you can find another local book club to host a bumper session, or if you’re a painter or ceramicist or sculptor, why not host an exhibition with another artsy person you know? Longer-term collaborations are also great: if you host an event with someone and it goes well, why not aim for one a quarter? It’s something to look forward to (both for you and your guests), and gives you more chances to meet new people. Keep it fun and easy (one of my life mottos), and new opportunities might just come your way.

Finally, the magic of creating your own opportunities comes from just doing what you want to do anyway. If you’re trying to build a career as a speaker, it doesn’t matter if you’re not on the TEDx stage yet: speak at a local charity event, or give a guest lecture for a local community college. Try and record it if you can, or at the very least get some good photos and a testimonial. The same goes for writing: start that blog and get your words out there. You can always pitch to magazines or publishers at the same time, but make sure you’re creating your own opportunities too. I know a lot of people who got into consulting and full-time freelancing that way as well: find some NGOs or small startups to mentor, and get some really great case studies that you can use to find work going forwards. You’ll get that crucial dash of momentum that will propel you forwards, and in time you’ll find yourself very much un-stuck.

Most importantly of all, don’t be afraid to switch things up and try new things. You can always go back to what you were doing before. No one cares that much—in fact, no one’s thinking about you at all (this is a good thing, by the way). Just start, and you can always figure things out from there. As I said recently on Alexis Barber’s fabulous podcast, much to the amusement of my horrible friends who aren’t on board with my modern day philosopher era, the one thing that won’t help you is doing nothing at all. So get out there, create your own opportunities, and watch as things start to change very quickly.

On the Social Currency Substack, we unpack the art (and science) of connection: from who to meet and how to meet them, to building your own ecosystem and creating those right-place-right-time moments that spark opportunity, whatever your goals in work of life. Expect interviews with people who do it best, practical hacks you can put to work immediately, and recommendations on tools, events, and strategies to grow your own network. You can find Phoebe at the imaginatively named phoebedodds.com.