Star Trek Troopers

Have you people ever watched Star Trek? Good Lord.

Seems all the Trek related discourse I read on Substack these days is from folks in desperate need of a remedial course. I know this because they often portray that fictional universe as an utopian ideal, where humanity has banished all the horrible wages of our fallen world free to roam the cosmos and have sex with suspiciously humanoid hot alien babes in extraordinarily elaborate holodeck fantasies. Not to put too fine a point on it: shut up, retard.

Buckle up. You’re about to take the Star Trek red pill.

First we set the stage with my personal grandaddy of science fiction Robert Heinlein and his masterpiece Starship Troopers. Part military adventure, part philosophical dialogue, our hero Johnny Rico joins the Mobile Infantry and kills those nasty bugs. But before all that, he had to attend Mr. Dubois’ History and Moral Philosophy. The man himself says it better than I ever could.

Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor, and the contrary opinion is wishful thinkin at its worst. Breeds that forget this basic truth have always paid for it with their lives and their freedoms.

Prior to the events of the novel, the degenerate ideologies of the 20th century had bred a race of lazy, pathetic meat sacks. Everything fell apart and it took the likes of men like Mr. Dubois to put it back together again. This led to a de facto military dictatorship where service guarantees citizenship. One can certainly live a prosperous fulfilling life but without a period of federal service you get no say in how things are done. That’s right, folks. Universal suffrage is for chumps. The dearly bought reason is simple: people who can’t demonstrate, through hard serious action, the ability to put the good of the group ahead of themselves are not worthy of citizenship, leadership, and the rights and responsibilities inherent within. During the Bug War (who are metaphors for dirty, filthy Communists) these values are put to the test.

Needless to say, the Mobile Infantry punch pretty damn fucking hard. Planet cracking bombs help too. Lots of “good bugs” at the end of the book including the greatest final chapter of any book I have ever read in my entire life.

So what does this have to do with Star Trek? The background lore is virtually the same. In Trek humanity suffered a cataclysmic global war. After that, in what I can only imagine are some tremendous selection pressures, we develop a way to travel the stars called warp drive. On the day of the first test the Vulcans (the pointy eared bastards) happen to be exploring our solar system. After making First Contact, the rest is history. Pay attention to the difference here. In Troopers it’s soldiers while in Trek it’s explorers. That difference is more similar than than it appears.

Now, in Trek it’s important to know warp drives are powered by magic crystals that produce a ton of energy. A society that creates virtually unlimited energy that expands into space (where they find MORE energy) would be capable of creating a post-scarcity society. Before you poo-poo that, keep in mind the kinds of people who would survive and thrive post-nuclear holocaust going on to build such a world. They would be dyed in the wool bad ass motherfuckers (If your desire to know more intensifies, John Carter did a much smarter deep dive on this specific kind of thing. Go check it out!). Point is, at least early on in Star Trek’s future timeline things are probably not all that fake and gay. After forming the Federation with the Vulcans there’s a major war with the militaristic Klingons. Things weren’t so rosy with the Romulans either. So, yeah. War is cool and so is Star Trek. Also, exploring space and banging alien hotties. Nice.

In this post-scarcity context you might ask what normal people like you and me are up to. Look, who fucking cares? It’s called Star Trek not Office Space.

So let’s forget the plebs and move on to the original U.S.S. Enterprise gangsters. You know who I’m talking about.

This crew was a legend in their own time. There is a very simple reason for this. They explored the final frontier and DIDN’T DIE. Yes, it’s really that simple. Enterprise went on a five year mission exploring deep space, did tons of crazy stuff, and didn’t die. Ferdinand Magellan eat your heart out because this is a key point to understand. Our clouds of nostalgia conceal the fact Starfleet lost ships all the damn time. Exploring the frontier is dangerous work, people. It always is.

Even more salient to my thesis, recall now how many of their adventures were settled. Wrath of Khan? Eat torpedoes, sucker. Undiscovered Country? Screw your Shakespeare quips and admittedly awesome aesthetic, General Chang! As many times the original crew solved problems with their intellect and cleverness they also had to make like Rico’s Mobile Infantry and beat wholesale ass.

Original crew lesson learned? Great. Moving on to The Next Generation.

In the Trek timeline the Next Generation crew comes in, well, the later generations. Featuring the fifth Starfleet ship named Enterprise space isn’t quite so dangerous as it used to be in the original crew’s time. Want proof? Look at your iPhone, then look at this:

The wonders have never ceased while they increased. This Enterprise flies itself by technobabble alone, leaving the crew with plenty of time for self discovery and improvement. Like Picard famously said, people in his time no longer do things for money or care about such stupid things as going bald. And why shouldn’t they be like this? There’s peace with the Klingons. Things are going well enough with the Romulans. The Federation grows every year in power and influence bringing more and more civilizations into its post-Fukuyama liberal democratic ideal. History is over, baby!

I don’t mean to alarm you, but does anyone else realize the entire Next Generation TV series is book ended with the omnipotent Q calling out humanity on it’s bullshit?

In the very first episode Encounter at Farpoint Q puts humanity on trial via Picard. By the series finale All Good Things he’s come full circle with an ultimate test, which Picard passes, leaving Q to conclude humanity has the potential to rise above it’s station. Maybe. If we’re lucky. Were it that simple, because there’s one very important factor that always seems missing in these discussions about what Trek is or is not. It’s the menace haunting the entire fictional universe. What am I talking about?

The Borg.

If you’re a longtime Trek fan, your blood just ran cold. If you’re young, do yourself a favor and speed run TNG’s Borg episodes. They aren’t just one of the greatest fictional villains of all time, they are humanity put to the question. That question is simple, but brutal. In a fallen world, how far are you willing to go for utopian dreams? Because like it or not, the Borg do present a compelling answer.

Their offer is as straight forward as it is complete. No fear. No pain. No suffering. No want. Perfect unity across all species and all time, forever.

We are the Borg. Lower your shields and surrender your ships.

We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own.

Resistance is futile.

As the 21st century continues, I have to wonder. Is it futile to resist the march of technology, of society, of progress? Well, I can tell you Trek’s answer:

Despite obvious degenerate issues in Trek and culture at large, despite the liberalism that has infected everything that was once cool and good, the finale of Picard did something incredible.

It shot to the heart of the matter.

Over the course of Trek canon the Borg constantly seek to subdue humanity. Their final play, at the end of Picard, was taking advantage of Starfleet’s networking of ships by utilizing a mind virus to subvert the flesh and blood cadets. What I’m saying is in one fell stroke they turned child against parent in the cultural revolution to end all cultural revolutions. Sound familiar, don’t it? But the Borg failed for good. Why? Because the old timers went fuck it and sent the bastards straight to hell.

Despite all the high minded rhetoric of Starfleet what solved the greatest threat the galaxy had ever known? Take it away, Mr. Dubois.

Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor, and the contrary opinion is wishful thinkin at its worst. Breeds that forget this basic truth have always paid for it with their lives and their freedoms.

Now, before the blood runs too hot remember in Trek it’s a long road to that moment. To that final victory. The soldiers of Troopers and the explorers of Trek can’t just be hard men, but also wise and far-seeing. In the real world, it’s impossible to say if we’ll get there or if it’ll even be needed in our lifetime. But what I would like you to see is what we can mine from our stories and our myths despite whatever the real world “Borg” tries to erase and change. See the eternal thing Star Trek and Starship Troopers have in common: men willing to fight, die, and sacrifice.

This is the way, fellas: be those men. Be Kirk. Be Picard. Be Rico too. Help each other be those men. Help each other see beyond to what God Himself declares not just in creation but in the quiet places of our hearts. If the call comes show the whole world you fight, not for the sake of it, but to defend all that is still good in this world.

Fight because the sky is blue, space is black, and God loves the infantry.

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this piece as much as I did writing it.

As a way of denouement, I’ll leave you with a history lesson. Star Trek’s creator, Gene Roddenberry, served in the US Air Force during World War II. He got the name for his titular hero ship from a very real one. Here she is, the U.S.S. Enterprise.

The Japanese Imperial Navy counted her sunk so many times they nicknamed her “The Gray Ghost.” When she was the only active carrier in the Pacific, repairing damage while on the way to the next fight, the crew slapped a big old sign on her declaring ENTERPRISE VS. JAPAN. She would go on to distinguish herself in battle becoming the most decorated ship in US Navy history. Go read about her. The list of commendations is a sight to behold.

Turns out it’s not just the captains. Come for Enterprise?

Don’t miss.