Work Ethic

Procrastination isn’t always a matter of motivation. Sometimes it’s a matter of priorities.

MONDAY MORNING. Herb’s shift at the Big Bloom Dispensary started at ten. The clock said 9:45, but he still needed to scarf his morning bowl of Captain Crunch with Cocoa Puffs and Lucky Charms. He poured his bounty into his wife’s mixing bowl, smothered it in syrup, and shoveled the mixture into his mouth.

His wife Janis wandered into the kitchen and grabbed the Honduras coffee from the counter. She poured the beans into the grinder, which she noticed Herb had used to grind his buds the night before. “Aren’t you working today, babe?”

Herb ground the cereal with his teeth. “I’ve still got time to catch the bus.” He checked his watch, calculated the math, and immediately forgot why he needed to know the time.

Janis pressed the button and waited for her beans to grind. “You’ve been bringing home too many samples from work, dear. The bus passed the house at 9:30. Maybe you should wean yourself from your morning indulgence.”

Herb ground the cereal with his teeth. “I’ve still got time to catch the bus.” He checked his watch, calculated the math, and immediately forgot why he needed to know the time.

Herb fired a bowl. “It’s a myth pot makes you unmotivated, babe.”

Janis scooped the grounds into the basket. “Let me guess. You’re motivated, but not motivated to work.”

Herb lifted the cereal bowl to his lips and drained the milk. “Exactly. Besides, how could I miss the Simpsons marathon? You can’t tell me Homer doesn’t fire a doobie before his shift at the nuclear plant.”