My wife keeps texting her ex

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Dear Philippa.

My wife and I are retired and are happy in a relationship and sex is fine between us.
6 months ago my wife got a letter from her ex-husband now living abroad asking if she would be ok if he wrote to her to catch up as they had not spoken for 40 years. Initially I was supportive of this so her ex began emailing her...Soon emails began to appear weekly but I could not see my wife’s replies.

I expressed my concern to her after reading his emails feeling that he was seeking a relationship rather than just being a friend and catching up. In his emails he said that he was depressed he was not well and his wife had Alzheimer’s. He is articulate and expresses his feelings and creative ideas well.

My wife is a kind empathetic person and I know that she experiences some guilt about their marriage break-up… no doubt he does also as it ended by him treating her badly. I became suspicious after the emails suddenly stopped and after an argument with my wife she admitted that her ex had been texting her every week. She said that she had deleted her replies. She assured me that it was harmless and I had nothing to worry about so I relaxed....

Recently when I have approached I noticed that she quickly clicks shut her mobile phone closing what she is reading making me think they might still be communicating regularly.

I do fundamentally trust my wife but have the matter nagging away in the background. I do not want to ask her to stop the texts completely as it would be hurtful to him and I respect that she is a free person and can make her own decisions. An exchange every 6 weeks would be fine for me. However I do believe that ongoing weekly communication can lead to intimacy. I do not like feeling jealous and don’t want to give the impression that I am a saint. I am not.

Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill?

Please give me your advice.

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