Fear, Awe, and David Bowie

There’s an affirmation that comes from The Artist’s Way, that goes like this:

Through using my creativity, I am led to my creator. Or is goes like this:

By leading with my creativity, I am led to my creator.

I’m not going to mince words here, because I will be mincing so many words in a few moments. The point of this affirmation, to me, is that if I am an artist who creates, therefore I am a creator. And if I accept that, I should also accept that I, through my creativity, will be led to my creator.

My creator. Now, who in the world or beyond this world, is that?

In other columns I’ve written about being in a group working through The Artist’s Way and how someone was troubled by all the religion implied or even expressed out loud in the book. They had a troubled relationship with the religion they were raised in, and had tried to work through these things before, with no success. I raised my hand and said, “What about David Bowie?” I had been thinking about The Creator as it pertains to The Artist’s Way for awhile already. I realized at my age, coming from the era I come from, when I closed my eyes and thought of this concept, it was with a visual image steeped from etchings in versions of the Bible, and paintings I’d been shown. And it was an old dude, with a white beard. Now as an old dude with a beard that is white, I could be saying, “All right! Yeah. In his image and all that good stuff. BAM. Look at me and all that.”

And by the way I’m not about to close the loop here and say that by leading with my creativity, I am led to my creator and my creator is ME! That don’t feel right in my gut or my heart.

But I have people in my life I admire as mentors and friends, as people I love. And they are women, and men. And non-binary and trans. And as I continue my life long struggle to figure out what all this means to me, I came across the idea of David Bowie. I’ve seen David Bowie posters in dorm rooms I’ve moved kids into within the last five years. David Bowie, therefore, to my mind, is eternal. David Bowie is also no longer walking the earth along with us. David Bowie is a creator. David Bowie has fluidly moved through many identities while he was on earth. Maybe when I close my eyes and think of the Creator with a capital “C” I could occasionally picture David Bowie instead of an old dude with a white beard. It can’t hurt nothing to do that, and it’s my own business.

And it helped. David Bowie is the face of my creator.

But what does that mean? Are you in the boat or not? I’m really not sure, to be honest. I know a lot of things that surround this idea. Maybe I start there.

I know that I admire and love many people who believe fully in The Creator. My grandma. My mom and dad. Steven Colbert, of course. This Imam I met to talk about doing a TV show with. Rev. Batson. What are some things about them that I admire? Maybe that can lead me towards some thing or some things to grab a hold of. All of the people I have listed have in their hearts a quality of kindness. They have a sense of ethics and morals and maybe I don’t agree with every belief held by every person I named. That isn’t the test I’m using. I’m watching what their beliefs produce. Do they become kinder? More accountable? More available to other people? Do they use their faith as a shelter for themselves or as a weapon against everyone else?

This is also important to me when I’m considering who The Creator is. Pain. And fear. Much has been written, said, argued over and warred over about and because of Pain. And because of Fear.

I’ve recently read about the phrase “To Fear God.” No need to bother in our divisive world who said it and where I read it. But the phrase was used to exclaim that yes, we humans, must fear God. Because God can do some very scary things. To fear him, is to respect him, this person wrote. I don’t think fear is a way to lead anyone. I think fear holds you back. I see it everyday in the world I walk in. The fear to take a chance. Or take a risk. Or let go of something. I have never ever once liked working for someone who used fear to lead. I have worked for those people. By now you all know my real life cartoon villain, Gary Marsh. There are others.

Here’s the mincing words part. It occurred to me to try and look up how this phrase “to fear God,” was translated into English, by whom and from which language and how did it all tumble down to the word “fear.” Because I bet you it meant something very different when it was first written down.

I said it was time for mincing the words, here we go. I’ll try not to be boring about it.

In Hebrew there are two words, “yirah” and “yare.” The first means, well…fear. But it also means awe, reverence, deep respect. The second one means, well… also a from of fear, to fear. But it also means to stand in awe of, to revere, or to be… afraid. Whoops.

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe they mean exactly what I was hoping they wouldn’t. That this particular leader or The Creator rules by fear.

Or what if these words also describe a profound recognition of God’s holiness, authority, and power? Sure, in passages about enemies or danger, the word can mean ordinary fear. But in some places in a couple of books, Proverbs and Deuteronomy, “the fear of the LORD” relates to wisdom, humility, obedience, and moral seriousness.

When Proverbs says: “The fear of Yahweh is the beginning of knowledge” the idea is not necessarily, “Be psychologically terrified.” It could be closer to having a right understanding of God’s holiness, authority, and reality and that is where wisdom begins.

Now that’s in the Old Testament. What about in the sequel? Godfather Part II, or as some of you like to call it, The New Testament. There we have some Greek texts with words like phobos and phobeō. Side note, I had to learn how to type the infinity symbol last week for a script and already forgot how to do it. With that “o” there, I just pasted it from the search engine I had it in.

Those words mean… same-same. There’s your straight up fear. With some mix of the word “terror,” tossed in, sprinkled with some “awe” and some “reverence.”

So far, it’s like going to this new yogurt place by my house and always getting the pineapple flavor with four Nilla Wafer cookies on top. No matter where I go, I end up filling my cup with fear. Maybe I should give up and just acknowledge that I’ve got a personal problem with this kind of idea of The Creator.

For example, when angels say, “Do not be afraid,” the word refers to genuine fright. But when in another part, that speaks about people “living in the fear of the Lord,” the meaning is more like reverent devotion and serious commitment to God.

That is why translating every occurrence simply as “terror” would be wrong. But translating every occurrence as merely “respect” would also flatten the word too much.

And then along comes the Jerusalem Bible. One of my college professors told me about it. It’s a bible that translates all these ancient texts right into English. No middle man with your Latin, Olde English or anything like that. You go Aramaic to English. Or Hebrew to English. Greek to English. Maybe it can help. It was first published in English in 1966 and… generally retains the word “fear” DAMN!

So, looks like we’re in a big bowl of Fear that we can’t get out of, can we?

But wait just a gosh darn minute. I uncovered something during my research for this column that I was doing while you were waiting for the Second Olympic Ticket drop by refreshing your bowser a hundred times.

Was the Jerusalem Bible translated directly from the original languages? Like I had been told all those years ago by an authority figure I trusted, my professor?

Mostly, yes, BUT the story is a little more complicated than “ancient language straight into English.”

The Jerusalem Bible was not quite the clean, no-middleman translation I remembered from college. Its English translators worked from Hebrew, Aramaic, Greek, manuscripts, and the French Bible de Jérusalem. Even the book I trusted as a direct bridge from ancient language to modern English had a complicated human history behind it.

Here comes the French to get involved. After their stunning World Cup exit, I’d bet they are eager to stay relevant.

And that reminds me of an earlier column I wrote about AI. How we trust voices, tools, translators, teachers, priests, professors, and systems because we need help understanding what we cannot directly see. And the fact that all of these things can appear confident when they tell us stuff means we don’t always look under the hood to find out, “Who made this? Where did this expertise come from?” I’m as guilty as anyone here of that. I told my sister that the reason humans didn’t fly off the spinning earth was because we all had magnets in our feet. And because of my confidence, and her age, she believed me until my parents got home and explained I was not to be trusted.

But it keeps coming back to my question, “Does it mean we have to FEAR (be afraid, be scared) our Creator? Is that part of the deal we have to make? Or does the context give us other ways to look at it? To stand in awe, or revere, or recognize? To submit humbly?

YES, The word can carry fear, awe, reverence, or terror depending on the context, so I cannot use translation alone to settle my relationship with MY CREATOR.

I don’t know IF I’ll ever settle it. Maybe I’m not supposed to. For now, I’m working with this definition, for me.

To fear God is to recognize God’s holiness, power, and authority so deeply it produces awe, humility, obedience, and reverence, not panic, or terror, or the fear that keeps you small.

In other words,

You don’t have to be fear a vato to show that vato respect, you know?

Like with David Bowie. I’m in awe. I am overwhelmed. I’m not afraid of him.

PS: I have a smart and loyal reader who inspired this week’s column because I saw The Artist’s Way in a mention of something she was doing. I talked to her and we are thinking about doing a ZOOM group of people interested in working through the book together. I’ll let you know…

PPS: In the way you could only chalk up to the universe making connections or in the existence of some being that manifests things, in looking for a picture of David Bowie to include here, I found this. And was able to trace it to an interview he did that was used in the documentary, “Moonage Daydreams,” which I am now going to be watching tonight.

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