A PARK RANGE IN HAWAII VOLCANOES NATION PARK once mocked my unconscious form next to the Kilauea caldera.
According to the National Sleep Foundation, napping helps in important ways:
“Napping during the day…can help us feel more awake and perform better. As a result, napping can help with:
Reducing sleepiness [well, duh, National Sleep Foundation!]
Which is why I feel free to promote “nap.ti.tude,” or “the God-given ability to nap.” Here is a partial lexicon of purposeful laziness. Feel free to add your own. When you wake up.
Nap.ostle: Promoter of daytime sleep.
Nap.ostate: A former day-sleeper who renounces napping.
Nap.pren.tice: One who learns at the side of a napping master. I’m available for consults.
Cat.nap: Lions sleep 16-20 hours a day!
Dog.nap: Akin to catnap, but with twitching and yelping.
Nap.prehensive: Pre-nap anxiety, usually calmed by a…
Nap.era.tif: A wee dram taken before a…
Nap.it.tizer: A brief nap, before the main nap.
Nap.i.logue: Another brief nap, after the main nap.
Pizzza: Carb-induced nap.
La.ng.n(i)ap.pe. A bonus nap, or any nap taken in Louisiana.
Kid.nap: Child stolen by Mr. Sandman for a mid-day nap. One hour is good. Two: better
Whippers.nap.per: Impertinent kid who nonetheless naps thank god.
N.apps (for iPhone and Android): Calm Sleep, Head Space, Oniri, Sleep Cycle, Rise. These recommendations are from Forbes.com, and business writing always makes me drowsy. So maybe click on a few Forbes headlines, to see if the proceedings to the Federal Reserve Board might knock you out.
Jay Zzzzz: Cautionary rapper. “Please, we ain’t focused on naps ‘Cause I don’t run rap no more, I run the map.” --What We Talkin’ ‘Bout
Skillzzz: What Jay Zzzz has.
Un.nap.olo.getic: Ronald Reagan, who swore by naps, just like Joe B. and Bill C. And it’s the only thing I approve of with Don T. The dude just can’t keep his eyes open.
Pre.nap.tual agreement: Agreement of a non-napping spouse to abstain from making a productive ruckus (washing dishes, vacuuming) in a passive-aggressive move against a napping spouse.
Nap.o.plectic: Rage upon being awakened in violation of the pre-nap agreement
Nap.athy: Ennui so profound that it interferes with napping.
Nap.rod.is.iac: A substance that encourages sex, which leads to napping.
Nap.er.çu: A comment or brief reference that makes an illuminating or entertaining point about napping. Example: “I usually take a two-hour nap from one to four.” —Yogi Berra
Shavasa.nap: Sleep-like-a-corpse pose in yoga.
Nap.oca.lypse: When a sleepy NORAD worker droops his head on a big red button.
Nap.othe.osis: Rip Van Winkle.
Dirt Nap: Put it that way, and death doesn’t seem so bad.
This post grew out of a conversation with my buddy Doug Renfro, a fine artist who lives in Alabama amidst a bunch of Trump supporters. And still has a smile on his face.
Thanks for the inspo and additional nap ideas, Doug!
He’s really good at napping, too.
As are these people.
“There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled.” — Ovid
“The replenishing thing that comes with a nap - you end up with two mornings in a day.”
— Pete Hamill
“My biggest thrill in life is to read in the afternoon until I fall asleep and take a nap.”
—Sissy Spacek
Yes, those animations kind of freak me out too, especially because Pete Hamill (and Ovid) are dead. Sometimes the eyes close and the nap continues for eternity.
Sigh.
And speaking of eternity, I’ve been doing this for five years now. And I’m so grateful that you’ve joined me for all or part of it. Please interact with the buttons, which will influence whether or not I’m able to continue doing it for another five years.
Or, until dirt-nap-time.
Pro-nap? Anti-nap? Best nap ever? Do tell, in the comments.
Sweet dreams, my drowsy friends!
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