“The Impossible Dream” (Missive From the Bardo)

Yahya Sinwar: AI image

Dear inhabitants of the world of the living,

First, may I say, hats off to all who have aided and abetted me in the endeavor of a lifetime. It’s not often that one aspires to something they have great passion for, and then, only after much time and toil, sees it come to pass.

Yes, it’s true that this culmination point is best experienced from the perspective of those who still walk the earth. And yet, to see it from—shall we say—another, er… vantage point, is not without its gleeful aspects. I should add that I’m thought of rather fondly by those in charge here.

As I was saying, I had planned very well, and for a very long time, to create a change in attitude, a different way for a mass of individuals to view a situation, which had over many years, become moribund. That shift in mindset was my real goal. But to do so on such a grand scale and to have it come to fruition. That is what I call the impossible dream, “to dream the impossible dream…” as was sung in Man of La Mancha. A wonderful film, by the way, if you’ve not seen it.

My own impossible dream was to capture the world’s attention, to bring into focus something that would, in some sense, stir the soul of a goodly number of earth’s inhabitants. To bring to bear three things. First, a human being’s latent animosities toward a certain, stiff-necked and stubborn people. Secondly, to awaken his deepest sympathies to the pain this people inflicted on our, admittedly, disposable brethren, whose martyrdom was a great gift to our cause. And thirdly, to rely upon humanity’s propensity toward mental sloth—a dullness of mind, as it were. All this would, of course, require an act, which some might understandably call diabolical. Nonetheless, it was a gamble I was willing to take.

Two steps back, three steps forward, as the saying goes.

Now, some will say, “my word, Yahya, you’ve gone quite a bit far now, haven’t you? I mean, the so-called, October event was certainly, ahh… certainly bold. Quite attention-getting.”

That is exactly the point. It needed to be big. I mean, that’s showmanship isn’t it? That’s what a successful performance needs to be, a spectacle. And what a spectacle it was! The event itself really had been something to talk about.

But it would only belabor the point to rehash the details, don’t you agree?

At any rate, I think the results speak for themselves. In the eyes of the world, we truly became the “oppressed.” To hear that word on the tongues of so many is itself a delight to the ear! And our oppressors, funny enough, those we… what’s the word I’m looking for — yes, those we “resisted.” What can be said? They somehow become the oppressors. Again, I relied upon that dullness of mind I mentioned, that bovine mentality which causes a huge swath of humanity to lose all sense of perspective over simple a word like “resistance.”

Of course, there was the, uh… relocating of some 250 people. That surely gave cause to those on the other side of the fence to come looking for us; obviously a linchpin of my plan. Not to mention those GoPro cameras. They did a world of good. Let me tell you how much I abhor the Luddite! The footage sent everyone screaming into action, didn’t it? Strange to me even now, how rapidly it had the effect of making our side look like the “good guys,” to use an American expression. I’ve heard it said that if people can be driven to such acts as we performed, they must surely be a beleaguered lot.

But look where it got us. Just look.

We do something catastrophic—or wonderfully bold, depending on your perspective. And just as I’d predicted, knowing the capriciousness and inability of most people to think beyond their noses, the wrath of nations quickly shifted from us to our, shall we say, Hebraic interlocutors.

Not to sound haughty, but my plan has indeed reshaped the political posture, in a very fundamental way I might add, of the most powerful nation on Earth. I can’t tell you how proud this makes me, how elated.

Once more, I wish to congratulate everyone involved for making this possible. This has been my dream, my impossible dream. And with hope, Inshallah, we shall prevail, thanks in no small part to the gullibility of so much of the world.

I must admit, I sometimes have to repress a laugh. Seriously, how insipid can people be? Oh well, such is life. And in my case, death. Things being what they are, I must get back to the kitchen, my new vocation for the time being.

As you might have guessed, the stoves down here are inordinately hot.

(A Note for the Satirically Challenged: For anyone who remains uncertain about what, precisely, they’ve just read, a brief note may be in order. The preceding is satire. It is an imagined letter from hell, written by October 7 mastermind Yahya Sinwar to those who helped make his dream of a world turning against Israel a reality.)