Friendships: A Lifetime's Journey

As I look back over the years, I think about all the different friendships I have enjoyed and I wonder why many of them seemed to eventually change, fade or come to an end. Of course, this happened over time and it was based mainly on what activity I was involved in or what place I was part of.

When I talk about friendships, I am not including family members. I am talking about people outside our immediate family, those we meet in childhood, at school, church, work or some common activity.

Growing up in my neighborhood I had many friends that lived close to me and with whom I enjoyed playing basketball, softball or hide and seek. Once starting school, those friendships continued, plus I made many new friendships with fellow classmates. During this time, we all had things in common that kept us together. Sadly, over time some people in the neighborhood moved away, and once I graduated from school, most of my friends went their own way and I hardly saw or talked to most of them.

Of course, now days a big issue with making friends is social media and video games. Back in the dark ages when I was growing up, we did not know what social media or the Internet was. We were busy being outside playing with our friends and getting to know them on a personal basis. Today kids seem to spend more time online behind a computer screen and do not have the face-to-face friendships like many of us more ‘mature’ individuals had.

Even the neighborhoods seem to have changed. I remember knowing just about all the neighbors on our street and a block or so around. We would say hi and talk a few minutes on a normal basis. Today most people seem to stay to themselves and get to know few, if any, of their neighbors.

I also had many church friends while growing up. We enjoyed Sunday School, youth service, different events and activities and usually sat together during regular church service. Yet, once I decided to start attending a different church, most of my friends from the previous one dropped off. Not that we were not friends, but we did not see each other or talk to each other very much.

Once I started working, I made new friends at my place of employment. Whether it was the twenty-six years I worked at The Daily Reporter Newspaper or the twenty-two years I enjoyed working for the Columbus Fire Department, I made many new friends and we enjoyed spending time together. We were like a family and enjoyed talking and working together. Again, once I left one job to go to another, my previous friends faded since we no longer saw each other on a regular basis and we no longer talked like we did when we worked together.

Once I retired and was not directly involved in any day-to-day interactions with people, things were a little different. There was no particular group of people I saw or talked to like I did when I was working on a regular schedule. And since I did not move from one activity or group to another, finding new friends was more difficult. I did not go to school, or church, or work on a regular basis so there was not a new friend group waiting on me.

I still have my friends, many from the past, but I do not keep up with them like I did when I was in ‘the group’ on a daily or regular basis. I am finding new friends now, but basically on social media, email and texts.

Overall, the majority of our friendships during our lifetime will be based on the place or activity we are currently involved in. Sadly, most friendships (certainly not all) fade once we move on from school, or to a different church, change jobs or retire. When we move on from a common place or common activity, we usually find new friends and the friends left behind in those places do the same. Sadly, very seldom do friends carry over from one thing to the next. It is rare, but very meaningful to have a life-long friendship with someone. If you have a friend or two like that, enjoy them because it is very rare and you are very lucky.

Generally, friendships come and friendships go. Although we may not have a falling out, we just move on. We get involved in different activities and make new friends, we get married, we change jobs or we may move to a completely different area. Each of these things can cause current friendships to end as we knew them, and new friendships to begin. No matter what the case, be thankful for the friendships you have, cherish the time you spend together whether it is in person or by phone. Keeping the friendship fresh and growing is important and will bring happiness for a lifetime.