I Believe in Love

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You who I wish I loved, the neighbor with such a huge American flag
outside your home I hope you trip on it as you go back and forth
to your gas guzzling car, outgassing clothing detergent and dryer sheets
as your kind of American is more scared of smells than guns
You who I wish I loved, a family who when we moved in
were so nice and helped us unpack the furniture
and brought over a bottle of wine and Italian bread
as a welcome to the neighborhood who now barely look our way
as they revealed too much of their lives that first year,
the model of a family where it’s all Fantastic
when their house is shrouded in silence
You who I wish I loved, the yelping beagle and its owner
on the other side who said How do you think he feels
when I told her I felt like my home wasn’t my home
because every time I moved or breathed
the dog would howl like it was being strangled
You who I wish I loved, the teacher who was my devotee,
who wrote poetry in my class, every time I taught her students,
whom I published, who when the funding was gone,
didn’t answer my emails
You who I wish I loved, people who take my tax money
and spend it on weapons and prisons and themselves
instead of schools, health and love
You who I wish I loved, my former partners
You who I wish I loved, the way a friend texts me to say
Let’s talk it’s been a while when he should say Let me talk
for an hour and shut down when you say something about yourself
You who I wish I loved, another friend who I helped write a book
and thanked everybody in her life but me
You who I wish I loved, all the people who send me rejection letters
when I open up my heart through words
You who I wish I loved, the homeless woman
who shouted at me when I offered her a bottle of water,
saying I know what you can do, take me to your house
and make me dinner, whose feistiness and fortitude I do love
You who I wish I loved, books that become “New York Times bestsellers”
so the reading public goes out to buy them and they do become bestsellers
You who I wish I loved instead of envied, the list is too long
You who I do love is beside me no matter all my tantrums,
you who I love I never had to wish for.