Hello! I’m Paul Dean, a writer, games designer and narrative designer, journalist and speaker. I have a Patreon which funds much of the independent work you read here. I’m known for features such as the hugely successful A Year in Stardew Valley and On Poverty, for my writing on video games like Pacific Drive or Maia, or on a host of tabletop games that include Paranoia, Feng Shui 2 and Magical Kitties Save the Day. You might’ve caught me speaking at the Games Developers Conference or another…
So it was only after writing and publishing sixteen thousand words in a two-part essay on my Patreon that I realised I’d once written something else with this same title way back during my itinerant era. No matter. Sorry for the late update here but, once again, you can read more words from me for free over on that Patreon, a big, big update that dropped in late March. This time it’s…
Click to enlarge. Happy Christmas, tag yourself.
This was originally posted on my Patreon , where you can read much more of my work and, if you like, also support me and gain access to even more writing. It seems Tumblr limits to ten YouTube embeds, so some songs are embedded here, others use the album image as a link. Thanks for reading and for listening! The September equinox has come and gone. While the very last of the leaves try to cling to…
Taken from my Patreon . Did you know that it’s Pride month here in Vancouver? It is! Happy Pride! This is not a coming out post but, God, I kind of wish it was. All through my life, since the first Pride I can remember, the month has been full of people coming out. People stepping forward to say who they are, something that is done with confidence and certainty and gusto. There’s celebration and…
bwaah : [ID: a vector-display monitor with the readout “If you are looking for a sign to push on through the adversity, this is it”. End ID] Of all the many things I wrote for Pacific Drive this remains one of the most widely shared and may also be the sentence I’m most proud of. I hoped it would reach the right people at the right moments and, several times, someone has said it…
( Image credit: V for Vendetta, Lloyd/Moore. Larger version available here . ) Taken from my Patreon and originally posted on January 20th . Even before I was born, so much of the arc of my life had already been defined, already been set out, as a result of actions taken by fascists. The dates of birth of most of the siblings on my mother’s side of the family were measured out, with a nine and a…
Content warning: This essay very frankly discusses mental health, trauma, gaslighting and suicide. It also links to discussions of abuse and sexual assault. If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide, know that you are not alone and help is available to you or anyone who might need it, such as the Samaritans , the Suicide Prevention Hotline , or this list of other crisis hotlines and this list of…
The first of two parts. Written May 2024, from an idea initially sketched out around 2021. The ground was the colour of slate and smoke, a gradient of greys marbled like the surface of some faux kitchen counter, but it wasn’t snow that veined all those cracks and crevices, spreading like capillaries under skin. It was ice. There was no snow anywhere here on the ground, not at base camp, not on the…
Taken from my Patreon . Sometimes I’m getting fitter. To help me in this ongoing endeavour I have a hugely supportive personal trainer who I usually see about once a week, and who very patiently guides me through various fumbling attempts to pick up progressively heavier objects while I wobble like a weathervane atop an old church. At the same time, we talk about lots of things, because she’s a…
https://www.patreon.com/paullicino Whoops! I’ve been sharing things on Patreon for over five years now and I missed this huge anniversary. Here are some reflections on that, thoughts about the future and an encouragement for you to, first of all, support minority and underrepresented creators before you continue to give money to someone like me! A huge thank you to everyone who has supported…
apoemaday : by Bertolt Brecht Who built Thebes of the 7 gates? In the books you will read the names of kings. Did the kings haul up the lumps of rock? And Babylon, many times demolished, Who raised it up so many times? In what houses of gold glittering Lima did its builders live? Where, the evening that the Great Wall of China was finished, did the masons go? Great Rome is full of triumphal…
Taken from, and funded by, my Patreon. Please check it out . It’s happening again. I just got forced back a place in line, mere seconds from being served. Another patron, presumptive and impatient, slid between me and the server working the till in a move that I would describe as all too practised, as smooth , to ask what soup flavours were available. This patron, surfacing from nowhere like a…
Taken from my Patreon , last week . The Coronation isn’t funny. I can’t deal with it. I can’t deal with the swords and the orb and the special custom screen they’ll anoint the important man behind. I don’t know why this is happening and why anybody likes it. I am at least half a world away, but still I can’t escape this institution because I will have to pledge allegiance to the new King of…
joannechocolat : My mother hates my new book. I gave her a proof just a few days ago, and although she’s still only halfway through, she can’t wait to tell me all the ways in which she hates my novel. “Is this science fiction?” she says. (She detests science fiction.) “Were you ill when you wrote this?” (I was.) And repeatedly, she says: “Why are the women so angry? ” I get it. She’s out of her…
Here’s a new trailer for Pacific Drive , from Ironwood Studios, the team I’ve been working with since last year. This is a much more in-depth look at what we’re making and it’s been released alongside a whole bunch of press previews, everywhere from Eurogamer to Kotaku to RPS to IGN, and many more. I lost access to Tumblr for a wee while, because technology , but it feels great to be back and to…
Dumb and short-sighted, but par for the course when money people get involved. The attempts at spinning it are particularly ridiculous and no one is buying it. I only have a little bit of experience working within the tabletop RPG sphere, but I have to say that as bad as videogame publishers can be, the most soulless people I've encountered in the broader industry are on the tabletop publishing…
I love being here so much .
I recorded a video the other day. After a while, I decided to upload it. Think before you say anything. Or, alternatively, just don’t say anything.
Iceland, January 2013 . The latest Diary tier post on my Patreon is all about this trip, which has very much been on my mind this last week or two. (at Iceland)
Hello everyone. I recently attended my first PTSD support group session. I’ve been trying to work out some way to talk about this or share this for a little while, but I think being plain about it is about the best that I can do. In 2019 I came back to Vancouver as a somewhat different person to when I left and I brought a few things back with me. I’m still trying to wrestle with that,…