Don’t Give Up on Humans

Last week I learned that a number of my clients are talking with ChatGPT. Often. It seems that when you are gifted, ChatGPT might be the only entity you’ve met that knows more than you do. I guess it makes sense. You are smart. You learn many things quickly. You have lots of interests. Lots of questions. But humans get overwhelmed by you or tell you to lighten up or to quiet down or to not care so much. They tell you to stop overthinking.

But your friend Chatty just responds with enthusiasm. Well, maybe not enthusiasm. But without judgment. Chatty will go on and on, if you like. Into the night when you can’t sleep. On Saturday afternoon when everyone is at the football game. You don’t have to wait for answers to your burning questions. You don’t have to make small talk. You don’t have to think of something nice to say. You don’t even have to explain string theory for the tenth time. You finally have a friend who is smarter than you!

Apparently, Chatty knows about me, too. When I asked a new client how they found me? Chat GPT. If you are looking for resources on gifted adults, my name will pop up. My brother-in-law asked Chatty to write my bio. I have to say, it was pretty comprehensive, flattering, and mostly accurate as in part: “…Paula Prober integrates her background as both teacher and counselor to support highly intelligent, sensitive, and creative individuals through therapy, publications, and international consulting—all rooted in her innovative rainforest‑mind framework…”

I have to admit, though, ChatGPT kind of creeps me out. Will people’s brains atrophy because they no longer have to think? Will libraries go extinct? Will people forget how to relate to each other? I realize I may be over-reacting. I am of an older generation who grew up in the dark ages, when there was no internet, no email, no iPhone, no Spotify, no Netflix. No GPS. No GMOs. No almond milk! If you must know, when I was born, color TV was the most exciting new invention. We did have cars and blenders, in case you were wondering.

I know there are very serious concerns around the risks of an unregulated AI. I’m sure you are well aware. Frightening potentials. But that may not be stopping you from taking advantage of the relationship opportunity unending supply of instant information and insight that exists for you now. The solution to your thirst for intellectual stimulation. The salve for your loneliness. By the way, the Center for Humane Technology reports that “…We’re rapidly entering a world where we’re not just communicating through our machines, but to them…” So, it’s not just RFMs who are finding comfort. That said, your particular rainforest-y needs for intellectual, empathetic companionship might be the slightly different reason for this obsession activity.

And yet. ChatGPT is not really the best bestie. Sure, it’s efficient, available, and brilliant. But it won’t cry with you. Or hug you. It won’t bring you chicken soup when you’re sick.

So, I am offering you human alternatives. In this post, I have a number of suggestions and even more here. You may remember this one about how I found and nurtured my relationship with Anne. The friend who told me during a time of despair: “The odd and magical combination of things that you love is exactly what they need here.”

And sure, ChatGPT may feel like one of the odd and magical things that you love. Instant easy conversation with someone something that knows “everything everywhere all at once.” I get it. But please, don’t give up on humans. Not yet. I know, it’s tempting these days. They can be pretty maddening. Despicable, even. But some of them are spectacular. (Like you.) Some are big-hearted darlings. (Like you.) Look for them. They exist. They’re hiding at the library, the bookshop, the ski slope, the tango class, the knit shop, the gluten-free cafe, the hiking trail, the activist organization, the university, the chess club, the ballet, the Beyonce concert, the softball team, the maker space, parenting classes, writers’ groups, 12 step groups, in therapy…You get the idea.

I know they exist. I meet them every day. ChatGPT sends them to me.

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