Sardines are up for the third week running

The Mosshollow Gazette

All the News That Fits, and Some That Doesn’t, and a Recipe

Copperbell Roof Project Reaches Suspected Halfway Point

The house on the east side of Copperbell Square, which has been knitting itself a new roof for some years now, is believed to have passed the halfway mark. The Gazette says believed because the work proceeds one shingle-shaped loop at a time and the progress is visible only to a resident willing to stand still and watch for a full day, which is a commitment. Two neighbors have offered to help, but the house has shunned their offers. The Gazette suggests that a project undertaken at that pace is not a project at all but a hobby, and that hobbies are nobody else’s business.

Harbor Enchantments Renewed Ahead of Schedule

The summer renewal was completed last week without incident. Asked whether the heat had affected the work, Gale Stormquill said, “The tides are fine.” Asked to elaborate, Stormquill repeated that the tides are fine. The Gazette considers the matter closed.

Market Report

Sardines are up for the third week running. The Gazette has been asked not to speculate about the cause. The Gazette will note only that the increase began the same week a certain puffin was observed conducting what one fishmonger described as “negotiations.”

Self-sharpening quills remain steady. Ordinary quills continue to be available for residents who prefer their writing implements to mind their own business.

Lost

One hedgehog familiar, gray, roughly the size of a teacup, last seen near the mushroom quarter moving with what the owner describes as “a plan.” Answers to nothing. Has never answered to anything. The owner asks that finders not attempt to carry him, as he has views on being carried and is willing to share them—in a rather pokey manner.

Notices

The Enchanted Post Office reminds residents that self-delivering parcels are not to be encouraged with treats. A parcel that has been rewarded for arriving will arrive again. And again. The Office has received four separate reports of the same package from Thornwick’s returning to the same doorstep every afternoon at four, and while the Office appreciates the parcel’s enthusiasm, this is not how delivery works.

Correction

Last week’s Gazette reported that the street sign at the junction of Willow and Fen was giving directions to a midsummer bonfire that had already happened. The Gazette regrets the error. The sign was actually giving directions to a bonfire that is happening in two years. Perhaps.

Letters

A reader writes to ask whether the Gazette will be covering the question of the new noticeboard on the green. The Gazette has read the noticeboard but has no comment on the noticeboard. The Gazette wishes the author of the noticeboard well and would like to move on.

This Week’s Recipe: Iced Mint Tea

Harvest the mint firmly. Do not thank it, do not encourage it, and above all do not tell it that it’s doing a good job. Mint does not require support. Mint requires boundaries.

Steep in cool water for an afternoon. Sweeten to taste. Serve in the shade, late in the afternoon, when the day has run out of ambition.