Robbed on the 4th of July

This past July, a bunch of my family went to our local 4th of July parade.

My 2 daughters (Sylvia-10, Natalie-6) and my 2 nieces (Violet-12, Penny-10) put on quite a display of getting candy.

After the parade, we all went back to my parents’ house. In the basement, the girls sorted out their piles of candy and started wheeling and dealing.

The grown-ups were hanging out upstairs in the family room. After seeing all of that candy, I was starting to crave a piece.

I decided to have some fun with the kids. In the front closet, I found a ski mask and a big jacket that I put on. I needed some kind of “weapon”, but the only thing I could find was my dad’s golf swing-training-weight-thingy.

I tiptoed downstairs into the basement and put my plan into action.

As the girls were shrieking, I grabbed a handful of my daughter Sylvia’s candy and ran up the stairs.

They all chased after me.

I made it to an upstairs bedroom and locked the door.

After pounding on the door for a while, they tried to fool me by saying, “Let’s just go” and then attempted to make sound effects of themselves walking downstairs. Amateurs.

Eventually they gave up and went back to the basement.

I took off the mask and jacket, hid them (along with the “weapon”), and returned to the family room.

Soon, custom-made signs began appearing around the basement door.

They were encouraging another invasion.

I figured I would humor them and play along. I got my getup back on and crept down the basement stairs.

On one of the stairs, there was a small pile of candy. I assumed it was their way of trying to lure me down. I snatched it up and shoved it in my pocket.

When I got to the basement floor, the girls were ready for me.

They had set up a chair barricade in front of their candy piles. I tried to break through it, but had no luck due to them attacking me with a variety of big stuffed animals and viciously trying to unmask me.

I knew there was no way I would be getting any more candy.

As I quickly retreated back up the stairs, I was very proud of their creativity and tenacity. I think they’ll all be okay in life.

Oh yeah, and the free candy that I picked up on the step… it was just candy wrappers that they had stuffed with other wrappers to make it look like new candy.

Diabolical.

At the end of the day, as we were leaving to go back to my house, I put the handful of real candy (that I had taken) back into Sylvia’s bag (except for a grape Airhead that I had treated myself to).

Later that night, I was saying goodnight to Sylvia…

It was a fun dad moment and a memorable 4th of July.

Until next time,
Patrick

Check out any Things That Happened story you might have missed or want to re-read by going to the archive!