Trinity 4

Text: Gen. 50:15-21

Grace, mercy, and peace be to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, Amen.

As a Christian, you forgive your family.

That’s hard because there’s often real strife. In his life Joseph had had real problems with his family. If you remember his story, Joseph’s brothers were jealous of him and they sold him into slavery in Egypt. But years later, they came to Egypt during a famine and Joseph recognized them and revealed who he was to his brothers. They were afraid, but he told them not to be—he forgave them and said that God had sent him there to preserve life. They were reconciled. They brought their father back into the land of Egypt. Their entire family was united together once more.

But after their father, Jacob, died, they were afraid again. “They said, Perhaps Joseph will hate us, and may actually repay us for all the evil which we did to him.” And they come up with a desperate scheme. They say that before he died their dad told them to tell Joseph to forgive them and not to get even when he was gone. Their fear is understandable, because who wouldn’t feel the temptation to get even? They’d been wicked to Joseph. Joseph had had real problems with his family. And very sadly, all too often, so do we. What family is free from strife? I think it’s safe to say none. A lot of families are like Joseph’s family. And maybe you have a great relationship with your siblings and parents, but there’s probably someone or a whole group of someones in your extended family—aunts, uncles, cousins— who won’t have anything to do with you or if so, only because mom or dad plead with them to at least put on a nice false smile every year for the reunion.

Sometimes the fallout’s the result of unbelievably petty behavior. But lots of times of times the problems aren’t because of petty squabbles, but because someone did something deeply hurtful or outright wicked. Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery. They tried to get rid of him. People do outrageous things to their siblings like cheat them out of the will, or sue them court, or turn everyone in the family against them, or spread terrible gossip and accusations, or rage and say hateful, demeaning things in everyone’s presence that can’t be taken back, and all sorts of other things that hurt twice as much and cause twice the offense just because they are done by family to family. That’s the sort of stuff that sticks knives into parents’ hearts and keeps you up at night in anger or sadness. That’s the sort of stuff you nurse grudges over, that you keep coming back to in your mind over and over again, imagining all the things you could have said or all the things you could have done that would have really taken the wind of their sails.

Joseph probably felt all that and wrestled with that throughout the long years in Egypt. But he forgave his brothers. He forgave them for everything they did. He didn’t hold it against them. And after his father died and when they come to him begging for his forgiveness, he forgives them. He forgives them even though he knows that they’re being desperate and a little dishonest—of course their dad wanted Joseph to forgive them, but he didn’t tell them to go tell Joseph to be nice to them as he was dying. Joseph had his perfect opportunity to let them have it, to vent his rage, to go on and on and let out all the comebacks and retorts you could fantasize about, but he didn’t.

He wept. And when they came to him and said, “’Behold, we are your servants,’ Joseph said to them, ‘Do not be afraid, for am I in the place of God?’” No, Joseph wasn’t. None of the things he suffered earned him the right to stand in the place of God. And he knew it. And so he forgave his family.

That’s why you forgive your family. You’re not in the place of God. God is the judge. He says this: “Vengeance is mine, and I will repay.” He has appointed a day of judgement when He will handle every wrong. He will judge. But He is also merciful. And in His great mercy, when people repent, He passes over their transgressions, He forgives their iniquities. He does so because in His great mercy, He sent His Son to take all sins on Himself and suffer their punishment and destroy their hurt and pain forever through His death on the cross. God has mercy on us. He forgives us all of our sins, and as often as we fall back into sin and then repent and seek His mercy anew, He forgives us again, and again, and again. Because we, sinners though we are, are precious to Him—so precious that He sent His Son to purchase our eternal forgiveness through His blood.

And He wants us to forgive each other. As Jesus says in our Gospel reading, “Be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.” Joseph realized all this. He saw God’s merciful hand in his life—even though he didn’t deserve it. He knew he wasn’t in the place of God. And so he forgave.

We aren’t either. God has forgiven us all of our sins. He has also commanded us to forgive those who repent. And so we must. We forgive as He has forgiven us—not with conditions attached, not reserving the right to make nasty comments from time to time, not demanding that the clock be turned back and they try to fix everything that’s gone wrong in the years since they did what they did—but when people repent we forgive freely with no strings attached.

Sometimes people don’t repent. They refuse to acknowledge what they’ve done is sinful. That’s very hard. And for them, there’s no forgiveness. They’re not reconciled to you. They’re still at odds with you. They’re keeping the wounds fresh. In that case, there’s no forgiveness for them. But that doesn’t mean you should hold it against them, or treasure grudges or stew in resentment. You should pray for them—that God would lead them to repent—and for yourself, that you’d be like your God, ready to forgive.

And when family does repent, like Joseph we forgive because we’re not in the place of God. We always remember that no matter the sin, its blood price has already been paid.

There’s also a second reason you forgive your family as a Christian—they’re family. It’s that simple. Notice what Joseph says after he forgives them. “’Now therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones.’ And he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.” Joseph provides for them. He wants to live with them and share life and all its blessings with them. What’s so commendable about Joseph is that he understood the value of family. Throughout his whole story, Joseph wants to restore the relationship with his family. Just because they were family, they were more important to him than Pharoah or anyone else in Egypt who treated him way better than they did. He understood the value of family because he believed in God. He knew that God has given us our families. He has given us our parents and siblings, grandparents and aunts, uncles and cousins. Family is our own flesh and blood. Their existence alone is way more precious than money, or having the last word, or always being right.

What a lesson for us. As Christians, we forgive our family because they’re family—a gift from God worth preserving at any cost. That’s reason enough. It’s so very foreign to how we think, isn’t it? But the bible tells us that family is important. Joseph’s story shows us that we should consider family important. They matter to us simply because we are flesh and blood. Think then about what Jesus has done for us. He became a man, He became flesh and blood, to become family to all of us. The book of Hebrews says that He is not ashamed to call us brethren. And because we are His brethren He does not cast us away, but He reconciles us to Himself by dying for us. If that’s His way with us, it’s our way with our families, too.

Joseph’s story is sobering. It’s a call to repentance—if you are the one who needs to go and repent, then do that. If you are the one who needs to forgive, then do that. Joseph’s story is also very hopeful. It should lead us all to pray for reconciliation and trust that God can repair even the most troubled families through the word of forgiveness.

What a blessing that God is merciful and that we can truly be merciful as He is. We don’t try to forgive from the depths of our own hearts, but we speak His word of forgiveness that is true because Jesus was crucified and is risen. We can speak a word of forgiveness that is truly powerful to comfort the one who’s sinned against you and is powerful to heal your hurts when you’ve been sinned against. So, like Joseph, don’t let the hardness or bitterness of your heart stand in the way of forgiveness. But, when family sins against you and repents, throw out all desire for vengeance. Be merciful as your Father is merciful, forgive as you have been forgiven, because you know God’s mercy yourself, and you know it in Jesus Christ crucified with His arms nailed open wide in love for all.

The peace of God which passes all understanding, keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus, Amen.