it's about that time of year every year where i turn off all electronics and go into silence for 4 days until the new year. this is something i've been doing every year since the 2011-2012 new year. that was the first meditation retreat i've ever been on, and i experienced it with my dear friends olivia and kristine, who have both recently passed on.
it's been an important ritual for me to reset and reflect, but this year before i go quiet, i wanted to speak out loud an idea that has been tapping me on the shoulder for a while, and i think its time has come.
some of you may know this back story: my dear friend olivia had converted to christianity a few years ago. we had talked some about it around the same time my interest in secular biblical scholarship grew (thank you TikTok LOL). my perspective on the christian faith had softened from "this is all an outright lie meant to control the population" to "this is a cultural heritage not meant to be taken as literally true." i still believe some of both, to be honest. but now i see it's not just a cultural heritage, but it's MY cultural heritage, whether i like it or not, whether i engage with it or not.
this year, i've decided to fully engage with it. i've started going to a progressive, queer-affirming, doubt-welcoming church here in LA, and i surprised myself by fully enjoying it.
this was also the year we lost olivia.
her traumatic brain injury in 2022 left her without the ability to either walk or speak for 18 months. during that time, her family would put on a TV show called The Chosen for her. olivia's mother would describe it in her daily updates. i started to watch it to be closer to olivia, and it turns out... it's actually terrific television, whether you believe in jesus or not.
olivia's comfort tv show became my comfort tv show. it provided a springboard for me to develop new ideas and perspectives on this guy we call Jesus. I still don't identify as a Christian, but no one right now is fully talking about the atheist/agnostic/other non-Christians who are fans of this show. i really, really want to talk about the nuances between this show, popular belief, what scholars say about the Bible, and Jesus' central message of love and redemption. I think others want to hear about it, too.
earlier this year, i joined a zoom call with olivia and many of our mutual friends, and even though she couldn't speak, she was still cognizant of what was going on around her. we all took turns updating her - and each other - of what was going on in our lives. i told her all about how I really liked The Chosen as a TV show and that I was watching along with her. I thanked her for introducing it to me, and I told her about my idea for a podcast. i was thinking of calling it "A Part-Time Agnostic reacts to The Chosen." others on the zoom call laughed and seemed very receptive, excited, even.
that was the last thing i ever said to Olivia. the next day, she was gone.
I have had the majority of this year to process, to grieve, and to come to terms with my last words to her. and I think I'm ready to make it real as 2025 begins. but instead of making it about me, a self-described part-time agnostic, I want to call this podcast "The Chosen... For the Rest of Us." it will be aimed at amplifying atypical fans of the show outside of the normal conservative evangelical audience - so the atheists, agnostics, non-religious, non-Christian, spiritual, woo-woo, whatever.
if that's you, and you're interested in being involved, now is a great time to start to catch up on the show.
there are 4 seasons of the show out now, 8 episodes per season, all available to stream for free at their website (and hulu, and prime, and peacock i think? maybe a season or two is on netflix?).
i've learned that season 5 drops in theaters in april. and i think the first part of 2025 is the perfect time to just dive in to this project.
after i emerge from my retreat, i want to set up some binge watch parties, and start working on episodes of the podcast. i've talked to a few of you about this idea, but with some of you off of work and school for a few days, maybe now's a good time to queue up some episodes.
i'm still not sure what format this podcast will take — will it be an episode-by-episode recap, or will it be organized by themes? will the episodes be thoroughly researched or just off the cuff? will i monologue into the abyss, or will I have guests? maybe we could get some friends together, crack open a bottle of wine, and livestream us drunk-watching The Chosen? that might be fun. and funny. I don't know. I'm open to ideas.
I just know the thought of doing it alone is daunting, and I could use some help.
once I'm back from my retreat and travels in early January, I may be sending some of you direct messages about this.
but I wanted to say this before I shut off my technology for the year, in order to give those of you who want to join this experiment some time to start watching the show on your own.
because I'll be damned if I don’t follow through on my last words to olivia.
Comments
Nothing yet. Say the first thing.
Sign in to join the conversation.