Why Do Our Kids Lie?

Hi friends,

Lunch with a friend this week landed on the parenting question I think about more than I’d like: why do kids lie?

I have one kid who cannot lie if his life depended on it. (You can literally see it unfold on his face before the words leave his mouth)… The others? They’ve tested the waters more than once. Same parents, same house, same speeches from us, but each with a different relationship with the truth.

So what gives?

I went looking and found an APA podcast with Dr. Victoria Talwar, author of The Truth About Lying: Teaching Honesty to Children at Every Age and Stage. Her core message: lying is a developmental milestone, not a moral failure.

She walks through how kids in different cultures think about lying, why punishment usually backfires, age-by-age guidance, and how to tell when lying has crossed from normal phase into something to watch.

The piece that got me: kids learn what we model. Every “tell Grandma you love the sweater” lands somewhere. My truth-teller is also the one who has watched me work hardest at being honest about hard things. Probably not a coincidence.

If you have a little fibber at home right now, bookmark both: APA: Why Kids Lie (podcast) The Truth About Lying (book)

Gun storage study (JAMA Network Open, this week). 32 million kids live in homes with firearms, and parents are more likely to leave guns loaded and unlocked once kids hit the teen years, when suicide risk climbs. If your kid spends time in a home with a gun, please ask the questions you need to, for everyone’s sake, this week.

Massachusetts House passed a bill to block kids under 14 from social media accounts and ban phones in schools. Portugal just passed a similar law. The Australia data is in: bans are leaky, but the culture is shifting. Worth watching.

Meta and YouTube found negligent by an LA jury earlier this year for how their platforms harm young users. The case is reshaping the next decade of teen tech.

Shrek (2001) is back in theaters today. A great weekend pick if your kids haven’t seen the original on a big screen.

The Sheep Detectives is in theaters now. Hugh Jackman, Emma Thompson, mystery-solving sheep. The original novel involves a murder, so preview before bringing the littles.

The Mandalorian and Grogu hits theaters May 22. Mark it if you have Star Wars kids.

If you’re planning to do a movie outing, we recommend you check into good old Groupon for discounted tickets (and snacks) in your area.

Raising Good Humans with Dr. Aliza Pressman. Warm, low jargon, developmental psychologist.

ParentData with Emily Oster. Data-driven, no panic. Her summer camp and screen time episodes are gold.

Parenting in a Tech World from Bark. If the social media news above made you want to crawl under a rock, this one hands you a flashlight.

We’re in the last stretch of the school year. Field trips, recitals, teacher gifts, camp paperwork that was probably due yesterday. Memorial Day is two weeks out.

Next week from us: a post on how to actually talk to your kids (like when you catch them in a lie), and a summer reset for all of us parents already running on fumes.

Give yourself a little grace this weekend. The kids are watching how you treat yourself too.

Thanks for reading (and sharing! - it goes a long way.)

Jenny

P.S. Know a friend with a tiny ‘fibber’ on their hands? Forward this along.