Make the Situation Gentler

When I started this collage, it felt rough. I didn’t like how it was turning out. I added more layers to soften it and make it more vibrant. But underneath it all was the part I just didn’t like. Maybe it was even a little ugly. And maybe the finished piece is too loud. And perhaps it does not matter, and the act of creating is enough.

I’ve learned with life and art making that sometimes we have to gently move through the hard parts to reach something that feels better. And even then, nothing stays perfect forever because life isn’t about perfection. It’s about embracing the moments of beauty and connection when they come.

That’s why I love making art, especially collage. It starts one way and ends another. Sometimes I measure, plan, and glue carefully. Other times, I grab stacks of paper, throw them on my desk, and let the process unfold. Sometimes it’s messy. Sometimes it all comes together.

I think a lot about the pressure I put on myself in regards to family life. There’s this idea that a perfect family means everything is neat, everyone is happy, and dinner is effortless. But anyone who truly looks inside knows that’s not reality. (Social media lies sometimes!) My family has its beautiful moments and its totally bananas moments. That’s just part of being human and interconnected.

Some nights, I make a nourishing soup, light a candle, set the table, and play some music. Everything feels good. Then, on another night, I do the same exact thing, but the teenager is moody, the seven-year-old is melting down, the dogs are barking, and I’m just exhausted. I used to fight this so hard and wonder what the heck is wrong with us.

I have recently realized both kind of nights are okay and to surrender to it. We are all connected and picking up on the energy of the world - whether we like it or not. And sometimes it just shows up in our homes even when we think we’ve done everything right! It’s all part of it.

Let’s be gentler on ourselves. Gentleness makes it easier to just move on to the next moment, which could be fun or peaceful, instead of dwelling on what went wrong.

We are not here to be perfect. We are here to love, to soften the hard edges, to meet life and each other with kindness. Capitalist thinking would love for us to always feel like we are not enough and are not doing enough. Resistance can start with allowing some gentleness and grace.

This is my wish for all of us.