Dear Chrisean Rock: You’re Going To Prison, Baby

Right now, the rap world is in an uproar. As a person who dabbles in hip hop as a journalist and has been in very toxic relationships, this whole saga has been raising my eyebrows left and right.

This crime case might actually end up outdoing D4vd in terms of scandal. Maybe.

Chrisean Rock is a fairly famous rapper and hip-hop figure. Most people, though, know her from the series Baddies as well as its spin-off Chrisean Rock and Blueface: Crazy In Love.

Okay, maybe I have to elucidate a little more: it’s not just her good looks. It’s her bust-out, wild, borderline possessed-behaving antics surrounding her obsession over her relationship with fellow rapper Blueface.

In the past, Chrisean has…

• Instigated some serious fights with Blueface. According to her, he also put his hands on her.

• Had an argument in bed with her kid that was so loud that her son clearly froze up. The kid looks terrified.

• Had a baby with Blueface and drank with the baby in the womb, allegedly tried to “self-abort" her kid, and has been repeatedly seen neglecting her kid. She also talked about aborting the kid when her relationship with Blueface sputtered. She walked that back. The kid’s name is Blueface Jr. Most people would expect me to cut her some slack, but I’m not. Unlike my pregnancy, she knew she was pregnant when she was drinking and she knew she was past the abortion limit. I went through four negative tests, no baby bump, occasional weight loss, and didn’t find out until I was about to pop. This kid was planned. And she did that. I gave up my kid for adoption because I realized I was too much of a mess to be a good mom. I was actually trying to get sterilized and only got sterilized after my birth. She should have ceded parental rights, considering everything.

• Randomly ate a rose. I mean, roses are edible. You can make tea out of them. But what the fuck.

• Tattooed Blueface’s face on her not once but twice. Obsessed much?

In other words, she’s known for behaving like a person who has Borderline Personality Disorder when they are spiraling. But it gets worse.

Shortly after Chrisean got pregnant and gave birth, her ex, a man by the name of Ronny Doe, started asking if it’s really Blueface’s kid. What he said allegedly made a lot of sense. Crisean was not going to stand for it, but she refused to take a paternity test.

She allegedly threatened to kill him and his manager.

Shortly after, Ronny Doe was killed in a “targeted” shooting attack. All that man wanted was a chance to help his potential offspring get a little bit of help. Strange timing, isn’t it? The murder remains unsolved, a sign of a hit.

After he died, she became very emotional and started turning toward God. Not too long after, Chrisean Rock started to work hand-in-hand with churches….for reasons. She started to say her church is her “happy place,” and I can’t help but feel like she is trying to repent for something.

That might just be me seeing things, though.

Later on, Blueface said that the child had an official paternity test and that Blueface Jr. really was his kid. My question is, why didn’t she just do it then if she was so unbothered?

Either way, they were looking to rekindle, and she once again riled things up around Blueface. Blueface is now dating a girl named Navaeh Akira. She seems to be a lot less awful and, to her credit, she has also tried to extend the olive branch to Chrisean.

Surprise: it didn’t work.

She recently admitted, on camera, that a person, by name, has “caught bodies” before. She also pointed him out as a Crip, which is also generally something that should only be done by the person who is actually involved in the stuff.

Speaking as someone who has befriended gang members and used to be somewhat involved with certain groups years back, outing a gangster and their crimes like that is one of the ultimate gaffes that a (potential) civilian could do. (She has neither confirmed nor denied that she’s a Crip, which makes this even worse.)

She basically snitched on her ex-boyfriend by name.

On camera.

I’m like, “BITCH…ARE YOU TRYING TO GET SHOT?!”

Unsurprisingly, this basically buried any chance of Blueface ever making the choice to come back to her as a boyfriend, because you know that the heat is going to come up on him and Chrisean too.

The best-case scenario is that the feds start looking through her shit and start pairing shit together on unsolved cases. That will land her in prison and will most likely cause her to spend a lot of time in solitary or Protective Custody. This might keep her alive.

The worst situation would be to stay outside of jail after you just set up and betrayed a bunch of Locs who trusted her. My guess is that she’s likely on a timer. I would be terrified for her safety.

Seriously, this is the fastest way to be forced out of the United States. I don’t even think the Witness Protection Program can help her since she apparently can’t understand how dangerous a move she pulled.

Author’s Note: I take this back. Blueface started abusing Navaeh the moment that she got pregnant. He set up new rules and warned her that he’d leave both her and the baby if she disobeyed him. This man is incapable of having a relationship. He’s not getting arrested. Girl, call your family and get you and the child out of there. Please.

Regular readers will tell you that I rarely defend men, but this time, I actually hope you read this and take it in. You don’t have to rely on toxic, delusional women to make money. I know that people who get involved all have their reasons and I am not judging you for being a gangster.

She strikes me as the type of girl who might run her mouth, so for all I know, you might not even have dropped a body. What she did do, though, was still not cool even if it was a lie. That’s a straight-up abusive life-ruiner.’

I don’t believe that she’s struggling with housing the way I am. If she wanted to, there are places in America that are selling in small towns. If she wanted to, she could buy a trailer. Or rent a small kitchenette-style studio out somewhere in Kansas.

She probably has decent income. Likely more than me. If I had that option, you better believe I’d have gon away from New Jersey and not come back.

I get that toxic relationships are moneymakers and that you enjoy the money she made you, but it’s not worth it. You’re well-off, you have a booming career, you’ve proven yourself to be a good-ish dad to multiple children provided that they don’t betray you. And you clearly love your kids.

I mean, you’re already light-years ahead of Chrisean, that’s for sure.

But for real, bro.

BRUHHHHH.

Navaeh Akira is so much kinder. And so much more capable of being a decent mother. I could see this being a partnership that goes long-term. Just please, don’t go back to Chrisean. Maybe it’s just me, but I’m getting “obsessed killer” vibes and I think you deserve to see your son grow up.

So, please. Spend time with Ms. Akira. Be good to her. You’re good with her—or at least safer with her than with Chrisean. As for Chrisean? I see myself in her and I hope that she gets help—or at least really takes a deep look at how she’s pushed everyone away. She has a lot of self-work to do.