a blog of a friend if i made myself known to you, a blog of a stranger if you have somehow stumbled upon this patch of the internet theres going to be a m...
every now and again, there are moments when we look like a normal family. i get invited for dinner and im forced to see you again. i didnt sleep well the night before, your hands soothed my head and you asked how ive been. i try not to cry as you massaged the tension away. i grasp at the feeling of hope, of love, of dreaming that you will finally change dinner, conversation, mom. on the way home i…
i hate that i am never truly free from my mother's influence. i hate that my perception on life is so deeply wounded and shaped around the empty space she left in my childhood and the abuse she subjected me to throughout my years as a teenager. how do you ask for love when the person who is meant to love you unconditionally, does not? how do you think that you are worthy of love when the warmth…
running on only a few hours of sleep ( i have a big deadline at work today, my work relies on other people finishing up their tasks so i am in turn, waiting for them) tends to make my own mind wander and run as well. i recently met up with my friends again and i had shown them that short story with paris, lucanis, and davrin. i enjoy watching the faces of my closest friends and seeing every twitch…
i have reached a point in my life where i am creating for only a small amount of people i care for and at the center of that is me. so where i would normally stuff this away in a gdoc or post it in fear of being called cringe on ao3, this and other pieces of fiction will make their home here paris de riva is my first rook for dragon age the veilguard ! · · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · · I. in the soft…
by the grace of the universe, i have been happy these past few months. barring the fact that i was shook to my core because i thought id be homeless, i think ive been happy recently. i still have bad days, of course, and i still stress out about things like job security (i work in the game industry), and bills, and such, but i think those are just normal adult things. and im happy about those…
i wonder why my footnotes aren't working? it works on my first post but not on any of the others! 1 · · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · · WAIT! WHY IS IT WORKING NOW?! >:(
hello again, visitor. pardon me, it's been quite a while since i had written my thoughts out to you. i fought long and hard these past few months and for most of it i had been to weak and tired to write. it had happened, my landlord kicked me and my father out last may. it happened so fast, in a day i had everything packed and i had to get out, we left nothing but dirt and suffering in that house.…
im so very human. im so very jealous of the people around me. please can someone care for me like they are cared for. im so tired. im so human. please where are the better days · · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
those who say money cant buy happiness, to me, feel like people who have never spent a whole day hungry because their fridge was empty. or have never felt the humiliation of trying to buy a can of tuna at the sari-sari store [^1], with nothing but coins and finding out you're short by one peso. the walk back home, hungry and full of shame. if money cant buy happiness it sure as hell can buy you…
a few years back, just when i started college and when my life really started going downhill, i finally realized how astronomically fucked my life was like. i had always been open about my home life because to me that was no big deal. it shocked me when in the middle of telling my story a friend had stopped me midway for a hug and said "im glad youre still here, keeper." that statement baffled me…