Can you build a wife?

Mathematics have hard truths. 1+1=2. The square root of 9 is 3. If you make $5000 a month, your rent is $3000, you spend $1000 a month on food, you have a $1000 car payment, you have $1000 in living expenses, and you owe the mob $10,000, that means you’re fucked.

Relationships?

There are no hard truths.

“Treat people how you want to be treated” sounds great on paper. It actually works with functional people. But the average person nowadays ain’t exactly functional.

A few weeks ago, Georgi Boorman wrote a pretty good article called “Can you build a wife?” So to be clear, I’m not disagreeing. Both of us could be “right” but have completely different experiences. Because life ain’t a Mathematics class. It’s a lot more complicated.

My wife Anna is of course her own person. But she also allowed me to build parts of her.

Because she instinctually knew this Roman guy is going somewhere.

She said it was the keys.

When we first met, I saw myself as a failure. Here I was with a college degree and I’m doing physical labor, and my last good band was a few years back. The clock was ticking and I had a bad feeling I’d never make it in the music industry.

My mother spoke five languages fluently, played Beethoven and Chopin on the piano, and was smarter than most college professors.

I excelled at playing an electric guitar, throwing a football, and talking beautiful women out of their clothes. But was too short and too slow to play football past high school, so in reality, I only excelled at two things.

But Anna saw the keys. Why does this guy have keys to all these people’s homes? He must be important.

Women notice details men miss.

I guess I was important and didn’t even realize it. Real estate agents trusted me to get their investment properties ready to sell. They trusted a long haired man in his early 20s with their financial futures. And I’d walk away with a fat wad of cash each home.

After our baby was born, we decided to live close to each other. Share duties.

Then we started to hang out. And we got along. Then of course eventually get married.

Anna relied on her female intuition. Roman’s going places. And I’m going to let him make important decisions.

The first big decision isn’t what you’d expect. “I’m practically a vegetarian.”

“No you’re not.”

That ended her stint in vegetarianism. I already dated a vegetarian and fuck that shit. Too limiting. I could be solid friends with a vegetarian but a lover? Never again.

The second decision was bigger. Anna thought she was an alcoholic.

“Not with me you aren’t.”

We’d drink and I’d cut off her when she had a buzz. No more getting drunk.

She knew I was a good judge because she knew I genuinely care about people. Even back then, she noticed I had the same friends forever. To this day, two of my closest friends are from the 80s and one is from 1991.

So let’s visit Georgi’s article. You might want to read it before continuing my analysis:

So Georgi starts it off with:

This week, the Substack bros ask: can a man take a “BPD chick” and turn her into a loving, stable, nurturing wife, possibly mother to his children?

If you think this is even a question, you’ve been on the internet too long. Trying to mold someone with borderline personality disorder into the wife of your dreams is like trying to turn a passenger airline into a rocket ship. You will crash and burn.

She’s correct most of the time, depending on two factors:

1. How much work is the man willing to do?

2. Will she realize following him is in her best interest (this is a yes/or question but may take months to answer)?

In 2006, a dear friend of mine and I were sitting around drinking wine and listening to vinyl. And he said that today’s music sucks and we need to write some of our own music.

He may have just blurted it out. But I took what he said to heart.

I bought some musical instruments and some amps and he bought some musical instruments, amps, and recording equipment. Then, we got to work, him as the “producer” and me as the multi-instrumentalist (guitars and synths). Sounded like a good idea at the time, but I realized we needed a singer.

So I joined an emo band and quickly became the composer. A BPD girl was the singer/lyricist, and original leader of the band.

Me being older and emotionally stronger than the other members, I quickly became the band’s co-leader.

Keep in mind, this is a BPD emo chick. Hot as fuck. But difficult to deal with.

One day in the middle of the recording, she went off on the drummer for making a mistake. He got mad but I motioned to him to let me handle this.

I took her aside and without raising my voice, I sternly told her to never, ever criticize one of your band members. Especially in public. You are a team to the very end if you live or die as a team.

She came close to crying.

She could have fired me on the spot. But rather, she realized I was right and straightened up and continued recording.

At that moment, I took over the band. But I didn’t want it and a few months later, I left. I realized I wanted something I had 100% control over, not 50%.

Most men would have fucked up that situation. But I’ve had enough experience with BPD girls, I know how to calm them down and put them in their place if I have to.

No, of course not all BPD chicks. Not anyone I barely know. But the more I know someone, the more I know how to steer them. Note the word “steer.” It is intentional. Everyone has Free Will and she could countersteer. She just chose not to because she knew I was right and she needed me more than I needed her.

After I left that band, they immediately broke up. A BPD chick without a manager is like a car going 90 mph without a driver.

So Gentlemen, you have to know your options. Is she worth it? That’s something you have to weigh. If not, leave.

I didn’t think she had the work ethic to make it. The looks, yes. But you still have to do the work.

So I form my own band and go through a rotation of musicians with me being the only constant. It was a huge pain in the ass but worth every second. Because it ended with five music videos, which was my venture into directing.

But while the band was going on, I was shooting girls on the side. Because I’ve been shooting girls since the 90s.

I went thru a lot of girls but my main model became a BPD girl. Smoking hot. Wanted to be a Suicide Girl and was a shoe in but every time we got close to submitting a set, she had some excuse not to. I can guarantee that if you went to the Suicide Girls website right now and picked the top five models that day, she would have been better looking. So yes, a shoe in.

Her first boyfriend couldn’t control her. Couldn’t turn her on either.

He noticed that she had more respect for me than for him, so one day he challenged me to a wrestling match. Big mistake.

He was 6’ and had about 30 pounds on me. But he’s a normal guy. I’ve been wrestling since he was a baby, including reaching competition level in the early 2000s.

He never lasted 30 seconds. Choke. Arm bar. Arm bar. Choke. Choke. Arm bar. And finally, he tried to be funny and threw a mock haymaker at me.

IYKYK.

He ended up on the ground so hard that the hippie neighbor downstairs knocked on the door to see if anyone was seriously hurt. No, not joking.

Needless to say, she broke up with him shortly after that. And she continued to hang with me because the Silicon Valley boys couldn’t turn her on.

I was able to control her just fine (her next boyfriend couldn’t either) until I made the mistake of encouraging her to go to college without checking which courses she was taking.

Big mistake.

She became a feminist, learned that white men caused every problem in history, got fatter, got covered in tattoos, got fatter, started smoking way too much pot, got fatter, and became buried in both student loan debt and credit card debt.

Oh, I forgot to mention…she got fatter.

She managed to go from a 9+ to a 2 in only 2 or 3 years. Before, she was so smoking hot we’d go watch bands and if the singer was male, he’d be constantly looking at her because she was the best looking chick in the venue.

Today, she’s gross, broke, and on SSRIs. She’s pretty much done.

Would she have been worth the effort?

I obviously wasn’t going to do it. I got barely anything out of it. I’m already married to Anna so I’m not going to invest that much emotionally into a BPD chick who I wasn’t even fucking.

“But what about someone else?”

That’s on you. Not me.

I’d say for one, the man needs to be advanced level experience. And for another, he’d have to seriously ask himself “is all the work worth it?”

Not my problem though. I simply replaced her with someone younger and cuter. (I replaced her with two chicks actually - Allie and Roxy. That BPD chick was a Millennial. Allie & Roxy are Zoommettes).

Then yes. If you are the type of man a woman will want to follow, it’s a lot easier than everyone on the internet thinks it is.

Most of the men on the internet giving advice suck ass with women. Seriously. I don’t understand how anyone could listen to these dorks and think “he’s worth listening to.”

Most women are looking for a man to lead them. I will go as far as saying there are LESS men with leadership abilities than good looking women. Yes, even today when the average woman is way less good looking than the average woman of the 80s and 90s.

Gentlemen, get your health in order first and foremost. Then, get your finances in order and build your network. These two things can (SHOULD) be done concurrently. Then, find some hobbies you enjoy and become elite at them.

That’s it. Do those 4 things and you’re better off than 90% of your peers. And if you’re still struggling with the babes, you’re either:

1. Not meeting enough women, or

2. Not looking in the right places.

Roxy’s crazy about her husband.

Allie’s crazy about her husband.

They’re both Zoommettes, so the whole “there are no good women today” is a cope. Men aren’t 1. meeting enough women, or 2. looking in the right places.

As for church, our previous church had some quality Gen X, Millennial, and Gen Z women but they were already married and their husbands were very happy. We had one single Zoommette who was 50+ lbs overweight and people would say “she’s such a nice Christian girl. How come she can’t find a good Christian man.”

My word. Because she’s fat! Am I the only man there who lives in reality?

Yes, some churches have still single, beautiful women. But some only have fatties who are single and all the good ones are already married. Our last church was the latter. Nobody wants to have this discussion though.

Anyways, meeting more women and looking in the right places:

Where are men meeting women in 2026?

Meeting girls when you’re broke

The best ways to meet gorgeous girls nowadays

The way to meet women that no PUA on Twitter talks about (because most of them are frauds)

How to setup homefield advantage

These are some other questions and realities Georgi discusses:

To build a wife—and this metaphor only stretches so far—you must be the type of man who would build a good wife. You must become a builder, who picks the right materials and knows what it takes to make them into something habitable. You must treat every element with care and respect. In other words, you pick a good woman you have chemistry with, one whose values are at least roughly in line with your own, who is fairly emotionally stable and earnestly wants to make you happy. You understand what it takes for you to form a strong marriage and household, and you build the relationship with leadership and patience.

I 100% agree with the chemistry part. You must have chemistry or else it won’t work.

Now the values is where we disagree. Or rather than saying “disagree,” I should say “my experiences differed.”

One of the biggest problems I see religious men make is they think they also need a religious woman. Nah, you don’t.

If a man is good at leading, she’ll generally follow. (Assuming you have great chemistry). Including religion and values.

To a point of course.

I could even come up with extreme examples of this. Charles Manson got women to kill for him. Of course, don’t do anything evil. That should go without saying. But more women than most people realize will follow a man with strong leadership qualities.

For instance, if I were evil, I can guarantee you I could have turned one of those BPD girls into a killer. But I’m not evil and have no desire to go down that road. I’m just saying I could have.

Meanwhile you have guys on here giving advice who can’t even get their wives to go to a concert with them. And they’re giving advice. And charging money for it.

I also think emotional stability is overrated. Take the average woman and put her into a situation where the man leads well, fucks her so hard she bites the pillow, and has her needs taken care of, and she won’t be freaking out about minuscule bullshit.

I know this because I watched my own mother with a good man who I wish was my father. And I watched her with piece of shit men I wish I could have knocked their teeth out (I was just a kid so I obviously wasn’t going to start shit).

I saw two completely different women in the same woman.

I also watched that same woman who a piece of shit man bankrupted literally working herself to death. She ended up with cancer, more than likely from those conditions, saw Europe twice while in immense amounts of pain, and died. She didn’t tell me or my brother she had cancer. She didn’t want us to know up until the very end when she was a skinny shell of what she once was.

She never argued even once with the guy I wish was my father. I’m still baffled to this day why he left. Maybe he had another woman. Who knows?

Now, once again, I am NOT saying go out and find a BPD chick and you can make her into a nice housewife. If you got that out of reading this, you read the article entirely wrong.

I made it clear that BPD chicks are more work and you have to decide if the work is worth it.

But I am saying a normal woman in a shitty situation will act shitty. And a normal woman in a good situation will be happy.

That right there, Gentlemen, is what to look for. If she can’t appreciate when things are going right, dump her ass. She’s not the one and she ain’t worth the work.

But sometimes what people on the internet call “a BPD chick” is a normal chick in a shitty situation. So put her in a decent situation and see if she’s happy. That’s what I’m getting at.

Anna when she was broke could have been mistaken for a BPD chick. But once we were able to pay the bills, you should have seen how happy she became.

Roxy when her Latino dad thought he was High Expectations Asian Father (look up the memes if you don’t know who I’m talking about) could have been mistaken for a BPD chick. But once she dropped out of college, got married, and had her first baby, she became the happy girl she is today. She’s my favorite person to chill with on a beach in a foreign country.

So yes, there are BPD demons you should avoid. But sometimes people mistake a normal girl in a bad situation for a BPD demon.

The short answer?

Yes. If you have 1. leadership qualities, 2. the patience, 3. a woman who can be molded.

Anna was moldable. Roxy was moldable. Heck, even the BPD chick who Allie replaced was somewhat moldable. She just took more work and you had to decide if it was worth it.

Some girls aren’t moldable.

You’ll know all this from experience and that’s why I think it’s absolutely paramount that men get more experience.

The absolute worst thing a man can do is never leave his cave. He needs to get out. Explore the world. Accomplish things and make his mistakes. Because only then can you learn what’s out there.

And to be clear, you should know a few things about Roxy’s husband…

He’s a bad ass. He sprints even faster than I did when I was young. He’s tough. People like him. He has a strong work ethic. And everywhere we go, people talk to him. They’re simply drawn to him. He’s got that charisma.

Most men nowadays, you ask them to describe themselves and they either look at their feet or they give you a blank stare. If I ask you to describe yourself, what would you say?

This is something you should journal.

If I asked Roxy’s husband to describe himself, he could immediately.

I’m an Artist. And one heck of an electric guitarist. I can compose anything from Romantic era Classical music to Disco to Art Metal. I’m a photographer. My wife and I have traveled half the world and we’re only getting started.

And I’m a team builder. I’ve run entire departments in corporate.

Which translates to building the OT magazine, in which six of our Substack pals are in it. I take great pride in building winning teams. The next issue will also feature six of you. If you haven’t yet, buy the current issue it at the Opium Tales website.

This magazine is a team effort. There are so many talented writers on Substack and what better way to read them than in your hands alongside tastefully shot beautiful nude women?

This is what I’m getting at, Gentlemen. If you have a strong presence. If you know who you are. If you can lead a woman, then you can partially build a wife.

There’s no such thing as a blank slate. She has her personality already. But are you sexually attracted to her? Does her personality clash with yours? Can you get along for the next 50 years of your life?

If so, then yes. You can partially build a wife. Not fully. Like I said, she ain’t a blank slate. But you can mold women more than people would like to admit.

So my final answer is “partially yes.” But depending on the woman and depending on you.

The only things in the paid section today are the nudes.