A simple trick to increase your Charisma

Charisma is a learned trait.

And yes, the earlier people learn it, the better. But you can improve it at any age.

People love to talk about themselves. If anyone has a weakness, there ya go.

But people ask the most boring questions. “What do you do?” “Where do you work?”

You can answer those with one word.

How about instead “you’re an artist? What motivates you to create?”

Or “you’re a dentist? What recent technology totally changed the way you work?”

Or “you’re a journalist? Who’s your favorite person you’ve interviewed and what did you enjoy about that interview?”

Get them to open up. But also, get them to have a positive story because guess what? They’ll now associate a positive interaction with you.

But then, actively listen. Remember something from that story so the next time you see them, you can open up with it. “Hey Bob! You’re the journalist who interviewed Lionel Messi. If you had a choice to interview any other athlete, who would you pick next?”

Men love to talk about what they do assuming the person is actually paying attention. Uncommon nowadays.

Women love to talk about their kids.

This is how it’s always been.

Of course, you’ll meet women who love their jobs and men who love talking about their kids too. But the point is to actively listen and remember something from the previous conversation. Because people appreciate it when someone remembers them.

We have a new bartender. We now to go a Tex Mex restaurant and instead of eating dinner, we sit at the bar. Our bartender is a guy in his 40s with 3 daughters. You should have seen how he lit up when I asked about his 3 daughters and showed I was actually listening. I specifically remembered the eldest’s heading into her senior year and has to pick a college soon.

The average person is a shitty listener. Instead of actually listening, they’re queueing what they want to say and waiting for the person to finish his sentence. And you can often tell they’re doing that. Especially the next time you see them. They remembered almost nothing of the previous conversation.

I often start with something from the previous conversation because as I said in how to forgive yourself, stories are important. People love stories. Especially when they’re in them.

But let’s go back to the questions.

“You’re an artist. What motivates you to create?”

“My dreams. I love painting whatever I dream I remembered.”

Next, take something based off of what they answered.

“That sounds cool. Have you ever had a dream you that was too personal to paint?”

Or “that sounds cool. Tell me about a nightmare you’ve painted.”

Once you get someone to really open up to you, they often will want you to open up to them. Because genuine connection is unfortunately uncommon. Especially nowadays when people are so addicted to their phones.

The worst thing you can do is close off.

“But hot chicks love mysterious men.”

Oh my word. Way too much internet and not enough real life.

People love flow. You want the conversation to flow. And women are people.

I talk to women the same way I talk to men except with one key difference. If it’s a woman I find attractive, she’ll know. I don’t shy away from it.

So these techniques are simple. Try them.

The next time you talk to someone, see if you can get more probing questions. Questions that they’re excited to answer.

Now I got something special for our paid subscribers. Have you never noticed I have endless energy? I’m in my mid-50s and still have way more energy than most men in their 20s. And I’m never bored and never need motivation.

I also never run out of things to do. It’s because I do one thing that very few people do…